Episode 6: Tantrums and Meltdowns with Courtney English

When our kids are having an epic meltdown, our first instinct as adults is usually to start talking, rationalizing, or explaining. But what if trying to teach a lesson during a tantrum is actually making things worse? In this episode, I’m joined by my dear friend Courtney English, a pediatric occupational therapist and mom of two.Courtney explains that talking to a dysregulated child is like trying to have a casual conversation with a fearful flyer during heavy airplane turbulence—their brain simply cannot process your words because it is focused on survival. Instead, we dive into the magic of proactive regulation, how to properly transition your kids after a long day at school, and how to use "heavy work" to ground a disorganized brain.In this episode, we cover:The Airplane Analogy: Why trying to teach a lesson or logic with a child during a meltdown is perceived as a threat to their nervous system.The After-School "Recipe": Why kids fall apart the second they get home and how to lower the demands using crunchy snacks and connection.The Power of Heavy Work: How active movements like jumping and crashing provide proprioceptive input, sending clear signals of safety to the brain.Connection Through Play: Why getting down on their level for just five minutes of child-led play can fill their cup and completely shift the tone of your day.The 3-Step Bedtime Circuit: A simple red, yellow, and green sensory circuit to help transition your child from high-arousal energy to a calm state.Your "Think Like a Kid" Homework This Week: Try Courtney’s 3-Step Bedtime Sensory Circuit tonight!Red (Meet the Need): Make a Blanket Parachute. Put some stuffed animals on a blanket and shake it together to get that last bit of high energy out.Yellow (Organize): Toss the stuffed animals onto the bed. Having a visual target starts to slow down their brain and organize their system.Green (Calm): Finally, tuck them in. Use the stuffed animals to give your child deep pressure squeezes on their arms or legs to down-regulate their nervous system for sleep.Recommended Episodes:Episode 2: The Watchdog Brain (Why "Calm Down" Doesn't Work)Episode 3: Anxiety, Perfectionism, and the “Smoke Detector Analogy”Episode 4: The Power to Choose: Turning Power Struggles into Problem SolvingFeatured Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Connect with Courtney English: Follow her on Instagram and check out her website for incredible, easy-to-understand regulation tips.Courtney's Regulation Posters: Grab her visual guide posters to help identify Red (meet the need), Yellow (organize), and Green (calm) activities.The best way to build strong foundational skills for 4 and 5 year olds through hands-on play.Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids eBook: A deeper look into the regulation strategies that help you connect with your child on an emotional level.