Episode 64: The 2 Questions That Will Help You Stop Being a People Pleaser and a Perfectionist

Do you say yes when you mean no? Do you hold back your work until it feels perfect, even though it never does? People pleasing and perfectionism might feel like two different problems but they come from the exact same place: fear.    In this episode of In Confidence, Lisa sits down with bestselling author of Unlearning Silence, TEDx speaker, and former Harvard Law School lecturer Elaine Lin Hering to unpack where these patterns come from, why they are so hard to break, and what to actually do about them.   In this episode you will learn:   Why people pleasing and perfectionism are rooted in the same fear The difference between being a generous collaborator and a people pleaser who is quietly burning out Two questions to ask yourself when you have lost touch with what you actually want How to share your perspective at work without feeling like you are overstepping A low risk experiment you can try today to begin unlearning both patterns     You have been solving for everyone else. It is time to put yourself back in the equation.   ⁠Download our free PDF guide⁠ to stop being a people pleaser and perfectionist.   ⁠Learn more from Elaine Lin Hering⁠   ⁠Buy Elaine's Book, Unlearning Silence⁠   00:00 Intro 03:37 The Real Cost of People Pleasing 06:16 Why Perfectionism Keeps You Stuck 10:54 Meet Elaine Lin Hering 17:50 How to Stop Being a People Pleaser and a Perfectionist 21:59 The Difference Between Collaboration and People Pleasing 23:21 Ask Yourself These Two Questions 26:40 Own Your Perspective  29:10 Measure Your Own Success 32:29 Try a Low-Risk Experiment 34:27 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:      Visit Our Website      Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback      Follow Gravitas on Instagram      Follow Lisa on Instagram      Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn      Follow Gravitas on TikTok    Follow Gravitas on Substack    Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.