Episode 64: "Wear your Sobriety like a Straight Jacket or a Loose Garment" with Jaden

This week, we sit down with Jaden, who has a year and a half sober and a story rooted in resilience, identity, and discovering who she truly is without substances.Jaden shares that this is her first real attempt at sobriety. Before finding recovery, she tried to do it on her own — with her longest stretch lasting only a few weeks. Without knowledge of recovery or support, the cycle always pulled her back in. For nearly a decade, she was involved in sex work, with meth as her drug of choice, fueling a lifestyle that became increasingly difficult to escape.She opens up about trying to get sober in Mexico, only to find herself using again after connecting with someone on a dating app. Back in the States, she entered a relationship with a man who had years of sobriety before they met — someone who would ultimately introduce her to recovery, but also become part of the chaos. Their relationship was marked by cycles of using, dishonesty, and instability, even as he planted the idea that they both needed to get sober.Jaden’s first experience with treatment, in Santa Monica, didn’t stick. She admits she was doing it for other people, not for herself. After leaving early, she immediately returned to using. But everything began to shift when she got a call from a place called Vera Sanctuary. This time, something felt different. Surrounded by nature and a sense of peace, Jaden began to open up. Listening to panels and hearing others’ stories gave her a sense of hope she hadn’t felt before — and for the first time, she truly leaned in.Her journey wasn’t without setbacks. Around 60 days into the program, her partner — who claimed to be sober — tested positive. Despite initial confusion and denial, the truth surfaced. During a brief time together, Jaden relapsed, resetting her sobriety date. Not long after, she learned he had been pursuing other relationships while she was in treatment. That became a turning point. When he relapsed again, Jaden made the decision to walk away for good.Since then, she has remained committed to her recovery. She chose not to date during her first year, focusing instead on building a foundation within herself. When she finally did begin dating again, it came with new awareness — and new challenges.In this episode, Jaden speaks candidly about navigating sobriety as a trans woman living with HIV. While she is no longer detectable, she shares the emotional weight of stigma and the difficulty of feeling truly seen and accepted. It’s an honest and vulnerable look at the layers of identity that continue to shape her journey.Today, Jaden has come full circle — now working at the same treatment center that helped change her life, leading groups and giving back to others who are where she once was.Her message is both simple and powerful: find out who you are in sobriety. The growth, she says, lives in the things we try to avoid. And ultimately, recovery is a choice — you can wear it like a straight jacket, or like a loose garment.Jaden’s story is about reclaiming your life, embracing your truth, and learning that happiness isn’t something you find — it’s something you build, one honest step at a time.