Alright, let's do this. How are you, what the fuckers? What the fuck, buddies? What the fuck in here?
Welcome to the show. I'm Mark Maron. This is WTF, the podcast. How's it going?
Hope everything's well. Happy Monday to you. If you're listening to this on the day that's discharged, dispatched, posted, put up. If it's entering your head on this Monday morning, I hope it's going okay.
It might not, but you know, we're built to deal with it. I hope in your life that the possibilities for disappointment are relatively manageable. And if you're living in a sort of ongoing hum of mild disappointment, maybe you should figure out what's the fuel of that energy. What's fuel in that engine?
That's what I was watching last night. I was sitting in a living room with about 35 people watching Jeff Tweedy play acoustic guitar and I was thinking about forgiveness in general. Maybe I'll get back around to that. Today on the show, Bonnie McFarlane joins us.
That's right, the Bonnie McFarlane. Rich Voss' wife, comedian Bonnie McFarlane. I say that to you because you can listen to me talk to Rich Voss. That was episode 616.
You can get that on Howl Premium at Howl.fm. He's a great guy. Despite how much Bonnie and I bust his balls, he can take it. There's a mutual ball busting.
I didn't start it. Bonnie's got a new book out. I'll tell you about that in a minute. Let me get back to why I saw Jeff Tweedy in the living room.
Anyone interested in that? Anybody? Anybody interested in that? I'm not bragging.
This isn't a humble brag. I was invited to a party at my friend Jeff Ulrich's house. Jeff Ulrich is one of the great innovators and creators in the world of podcasting. He and Scott Ackerman created the Earwolf Network and then under Jeff we get mid-roll.
We get Howl.fm. He created all that stuff. He's a very important guy in the podcast world and he has since sold his interest in all those ventures and is now heading off into the wilderness to do some other exciting thing that does good in the world. I believe he's from Chicago.
He was at a Chicago charity event. One of the things offered is a private living room concert with Jeff Tweedy and he got it. I guess it was the first time they'd ever done one out of Chicago so Jeff Tweedy came to Los Angeles. We had a nice vegan food.
It was a non-alcoholic event. He was a small, he could only invite like 30 or 35 people and the deal was Jeff Tweedy comes and he plays 30 songs on his acoustic guitar and you have dinner and you sit in the living room and watch Jeff Tweedy play. It was unbelievable. How does that happen?
And it goes to a good cause. Now look, I'm not, it's not that I'm not a fan of Wilco. I love Wilco but I'm old enough to have loved Uncle Tupelo because there's a guy who works for me sometimes, Frank Capello was there and he's like, you Wilco fan? I got his big Uncle Tupelo fan.
He's like, who? I'm like, really? I was one of the people that after Uncle Tupelo, Uncle Tupelo broke up. I was like, now we got to pick sides.
Now we got to, like, it's either Sunvolt or Wilco. So I went with Sunvolt for a couple records and I came back around for a few Wilco records but I haven listened all the way through. But nonetheless, Anodyne and No Depression and all that Uncle Tupelo stuff was pretty important to me. But so there we were in his living room and there's Jeff Tweedy and he played 30 Wilco songs and you know, some of the ones that really affected me were songs I'd never heard before.
Hated here, he played acoustic. A lot of the songs that he played acoustic, you'd never heard acoustic and he was very self-effacing and very funny and it was an amazing night. That's all I have to say is that there was a moment there where I was watching him. We can't be that much, it can't be that big of an age difference between us and it was like, this guy's a professional.
He's playing all these songs acoustic and he's a beautiful guitar player and he knows how to do this stuff. You know, there was a couple of songs that he hadn't played in a long time so he had to find his way through them but it's just amazing watching someone of my generation who's been at it for as long as I have working whatever it is they do and now we're sort of middle-aged guys that know how to do what we do and do it well. And I was like, there was that part of me that's like, this is beautiful, this amazing song and wow, this is really an amazing event. And there was another part of me sort of like, he's a pro, we paid our dues and it's great to be in the hands of a professional.
Some gravitas there. Alright, so here's the deal. I'm moving into my office, which is, you know, don't go crazy. It's not like it's in a high-rise or something.
It's in a two-story building here in Highland Park just so I have a place to work. So my living room and my dining room doesn't look like a clearinghouse for books and records and random pieces of paper. I just want another space so when I get done shooting my show and I want to start thinking about what I'm going to do next, I can sit in a space and think and work. That's my plan.
It didn't work out when I bought a bike for similar reasons. That bike sits just beside my garage here. Just sits there. It's now just a rusting guilt machine.
Just sort of like, hey, remember? Nah, yeah, I do remember. It was stupid. You're the wrong kind of bike.
I didn't realize how hard the hill would be. Yeah, but we're here. I'm like, I know. I know.
I even bought baskets, little baskets for the size of the bike. I had this image of myself, you know, riding through my neighborhood, picking up maybe a carton of milk and some phonograph records and perhaps some small grocery shopping and packing them into the little pouches on the back of my bicycle and riding around and doing that. Just getting healthy that way. Just riding around the neighborhood, waving at people with my products in my saddlebag on the back of my little bike.
And I took that bike out twice and I tried to ride up my hill twice and that was the end of the fantasy of waving Mark, pouches filled, smiling as he rode his bike through Highland Park. That is a story that never happened. But I do have the evidence of the intent rusting next to the garage. So buzzing, yeah.
So I'm moving to this office and I got this old receiver and I'm picking up some major interference only on the phono channel. I guess I'm reaching out to just nerds who understand this stuff. Okay, picture me. I'm excited.
Yeah, I'm excited. I got this new space. I'm going to buy a console to put records that come into me so I can process them at the office and listen to them in the office. So I got this old turntable.
I bought this old receiver and I got this nice new console. I'm going to set up in my office with these speakers I got. It's all hooked up. I can't wait to hear it.
Oh man, the radio sounds great. I'm going to put a record on. What's that sound? Wait, why is it?
God damn it, man. Why can't I just fucking be lucky and get something that works right away? Chip, God damn it. This fucking thing's broken.
It must be because I drove it home in the car and it rattled or something. Then I went and got my other receiver, another old piece of shit in the receiver, to see if it did the same thing in my office. All right, that radio sounds good. Put it on a phono.
All right, so it's not the new old receiver I bought. It's some other thing. Let's chase this fucking thing down. Maybe I can solve it.
Go online. See how, hey, how do I get the buzz out of the phono channel? I don't know. Well, here's some ideas.
Ferrite, no choke, clip-on, loop things. All right, let's do that. Plug it all in, man. This has got to work.
All right, radio sounds good phono. God damn it. I've done everything I know how to do and what the internet told me. Now what?
Call the landlord. Oh, yeah, the AT&T people were here for a long time and they put the antennas right on top of where your office is. So I'm never going to be able to play records? Is there another way?
Is there another way? I'm obsessed. Like, this is the most important part of my office is my ability to play records that are sent to me by you people. And so I can have that other space to do that in.
How do I get that fucking buzz out of my head, out of my life, out of my mind? Took months to chase a buzz down in the goddamn tube amp that I have for the guitar. Maybe I shouldn't buy old shit. Maybe this quest for authenticity through nostalgia and aging artifacts with expectations that I can time travel through those artifacts.
Is maybe, maybe a, a fucking dream. Maybe there's a reason why things were made more efficient and better over time. I just wish they weren't, they were made to last. So now all these things that last, that have a specific feel and vibe to them, are a little, they're, they're, they're tired.
They're old. They've run current through them for a long time. They were expecting just to rest in the back of a sad store that will eventually close and then find a home on a goodwill shelf where no one will buy it and eventually end up relaxing in a landfill covered with meat products and other detritus. But secretly always able to pick up the buzz of the future.
Will provide poetry by me, Mark Maron. But in all honesty, if you do know how I can stop the noise, that isn't some of the suggestions I told you. Fair eye rings and plugging all the other RCA holes. Because it is generating, it is coming, the receiver is picking it up.
It's the receiver and the RCA output holes. Help me out, nerds. Help me out. Did I mention that last week I worked with the talented and amazingly professional Ron Perlman and the incredibly gregarious and entertaining MC Ganey on my, on my IFC show.
Anna, Anna, Anna Conkle is back as well. She's great. Amazing actress. My man working with Ganey.
I don't know if you know Ganey. Go ahead and wiki him. Go ahead and look up MC Ganey. Usually plays a heavy or a crazy.
And he was also, the funny thing is, I didn't realize this until we hired him to play this part, but he was the naked guy in Sideways. The naked guy. He's done quite a bit. Quite a bit.
You recognize him. But it was a blast working with those two. With Ron Perlman, you know, from Sons of Anarchy and Beauty and the Beast and movies and, you know, Hellboy. And Anna, it was great.
Okay, so that's going well. So Bonnie McFarlane, folks, is a great comic. Known her a long time. She's a good person.
She's got a book out. You're Better Than Me is available now. She also hosts a podcast My White Hates Me with her husband Rich Voss. And her documentary, Women Aren't Funny, is available on Netflix.
And don't get too weirded out because we bust on Rich Voss a little bit. It was all in good fun and we know and love Rich a long time. So this is me and Bonnie McFarlane. You know how to do this.
You have a podcast. I have a podcast. I have a radio show. All right.
Already with the plugs. Right out of the gate. I don't know. I'm married to Rich Voss.
Oh, now you're going back down this way. That started off strong. I mean, I thought he would be dead by now, but we're still doing it. Oh, really?
That was the best? I said this guy doesn't have more than four and a half years. Yeah. I like Rich.
He was in here. Yes. No, he talks about it a lot. He talks about this guy?
Well, he was the best one you've ever had. I think his was the best podcast. That I've ever done? Yes, that you've ever done.
Really? It was a good one. I mean, he made a list of people and put himself in the door. Oh, did he?
Me, Rich Voss, Obama. Yes. Obama might have been third or fourth. Uh-huh.
You know, it's like when porn stars are like, they always say how they have the best job. Who? Porn stars? Yeah.
And I feel like they always say that because people were like, you're not going to go into porn, are you? People tell you, don't do it. And they realize, oh, now I've got to just keep this up for the rest of my life. I was like, no, I made the right decision.
Yeah, yeah. I had a hard time getting work at 50, but I made the right decision. It was great. That's how it is with me marrying Rich, you know.
Come on. Too late to say I made a mistake. No one ever thought that you marrying Rich was anything but a nice gesture on your part. I'm a good person.
Help that guy. But I didn't watch your doc. I remember it came out, but maybe I watched part of it. Don't say that.
What do you mean? That's like the worst. It is? Yes.
I can only get through about 20 minutes. No, no, no, no. The truth of the matter is, it's a time thing. It's not a matter of, you know, like, I'm a busy person.
But I know that it was well-received, and it was a good thing, and it was called Women Aren't Funny. Yes. What was the incentive? Well, I've always believed that women aren't funny, and I set out to prove it.
No, I had a baby, and I couldn't go on. You know, after two years, you have to start paying for a flight for your child. So I'd been taking her with me, and then, you know, financially, it wasn't working out. On the road, you mean?
Yes, yeah. They're like a potato when they're little. You just take them around. Yeah, yeah.
Put them in my pocket. Wrap them up. Strap them on. Did you have one of those weird bundle-y things?
No, I never did that. What are they called? Bjorns or something? Okay, so you've got to pay for the kid now.
So then I decided I have to do something creative while staying at home, and so I, you know, I pitched this movie idea to Rich, because I felt like it was something people would talk about, and I could be funny with, and he immediately was like, yes, how, what about where do I go? How can I be in it? With a lot more listening. Yes.
He spit on me. No, and then he immediately took control and started setting up interviews, and he got all the, you know, all the big people that you see in the movie. That's pretty much... What did you learn during that process?
I mean, was it really a reaction to this idea, that trope of men saying women can't be funny? No, because I never really bought into that. I never really thought that was true. I mean, of course, I heard it from Guy Comics, but I thought they were just busting balls.
Right. Like, we're all looking for your weakness and trying to, you know... But then there was a moment in the documentary where I was like, it's been like, when I was talking to Club Owners, I started being like, oh, jeez. Right, it's real.
They really think that. It's institutional. Yeah. And can you get it on Netflix?
You can get it on Netflix, and you can download it on iTunes. And how much rich is there in that movie? It was a lot of rich in that movie. He paid for it.
He paid for my big feminist movie. Did you guys make it back? Yes. Yes.
Great. Yeah. It's a concern of riches at all times. Yes.
Yes. We're, you know, since I've been married, I've not ever been allowed to have my own soda when we're out for dinner. But he wants to bring soda into restaurants all the time. Oh, that's a weird...
Well, that's like, you know, it's like, you don't want to... That doesn't make it good for Jews when he does things like that. I know. And then he says, I'm anti-Semitic because I'm constantly like, stop doing it.
Yeah. Yeah. Does he bring popcorn to the movies? Yes.
Oh, no, he doesn't. Does he? My purse is like, if they ever start a policy where they open up people, oh, God, it will be so embarrassing. And he thinks he's beating the system, right?
Yes. The first time I ever went to a movie with him, he smoked it in the movie theater because he still smoked back then. Yeah. But he knew he'd be shut down.
Was he trying to impress you? He would just take two drags and then somebody would come in and look around and not see it. Oh, my God. What a pain in the ass.
And I said, I'm in love. Oh, God. Well, that's... You know what?
I may have been following up with him this one time when we were first out. He said, we were having sushi and he said to me that he was a genius. And he said, he was like really talking about himself as a genius. Wait, is this Rich Voss?
Yeah. Okay, go ahead. I just want to make sure I know you're talking about it. I never heard anyone talk about themselves like that before.
How did he support that statement? He was saying that when he's on the road, he's, you know, it's just magic and no one ever gets to see it. Right, because he just can't do it in the city in a short set. Yeah.
In an hour, you can see what a genius I am. Yes. And did you go on the road with him shortly thereafter and be like, oh, my God, he is a genius. Well, yes.
And he would always want me to come watch his set, but I would only go watch his set if he did crowd work because he really is a genius when he does crowd work. Yeah, right. Yeah. Okay, so this is interesting.
You know, I'd like to try to break you away from this Rich obsession. No, I don't want to talk about him anymore. No, you can talk about him. I like him.
I think he's a very sweet guy. We had a good conversation. Yeah. He's like a decent guy.
He's all right. Solid. And you got, you know, it's not like you didn't try before that. Now.
What does that mean to you, asshole? What? I dated comedians exclusively because I like comedians. No, I get it.
Did we cover why you thought me and you were. Oh, because I, you would come into the improv and first of all, you're always been one of my favorite comedians. The original improv? No, I'm not Melrose.
Oh, back when you would hear that. Yeah. And, and, um, I'd watch your set and I would be like, then I'd go to talk to you and I'd realize like, oh, you don't, it's almost like you're another person off stage sometimes. Is that true?
Well, I. Back then maybe. I think that, you know, fame and fortune changes people and I think for you it made you better. Well, yeah, it's validating.
I mean, back then I'd go on, I'd do okay, people like you would like me. And then I'd get off and be like, well, that fucking was bad. What do you want? Yes, yes.
Exactly. But that's the thinking. It's not like, I don't like her. It's like, oh, God, I got to stop.
No, no, no. It's like, oh. What? And I read that part of the book and I, you like, yes, when you got to town, you were funny and you were, you had some swagger to you and I was sort of like impressed.
And the reason why I kept bothering about the teleprompter in my memory, who was your manager? Was it, uh, right. Because you said. I called Jeff in there Do you remember calling him?
Probably I got mildly obsessed with you immediately But I'm not going What am I going to do? Well you know what I mean I was married And you were too pretty for me And whatever So you were up for something Like a stand up or something You were being Right So you didn't put that in there Because I hosted Short Intense Man Theater So I'm like The whole thing is Figuring out how to read That fucking thing Because that's going to be your job So I was very concerned But you're intense about it I know because I wanted you To do well Like I just got obsessed I think when you first Started talking about a teleprompter I didn't know what a teleprompter was So that was like But I don't really remember Calling your manager I'm like I need to talk to Bonnie About this It was urgent because Yeah he put you on speakerphone Oh really Well it wasn't because I didn't want to talk to you But I do have anxiety About talking on the phone For some weird reason We were like kids Like that was that whole New York thing And that was in the middle of it And also I think I was completely overwhelmed I mean Were you like 22? 23? No I was probably like 24, 25 And so Yeah but really I didn't know what was going on In life In the world Well that's what I picked up on I'm like You gotta deal with this teleprompter thing I'm not sure how I thought I was going to teach you To have a job at the time You would always say It goes faster than you think I was like okay I was very concerned Did you get the job?
No I don't think I ever went in on it I don't think I ever But I do remember That when I did use a teleprompter I was like he's right It goes faster than you think And they can control the speed Yes you told me that You tell them to slow down That was really You don't speed up For the teleprompter They slow down for you That was really I was just like I was going to help you And then you dated Cohen For a while right? Off and on for like five years That was a very sad I read a little bit about I feel like I was mean This is the thing About writing a memoir You got to really sort of wonder Well I was going to change his name And then the lawyer That goes through the book with you People will know who he is anyway There's no sense So you have to email him And ask him if it's okay And I didn't want to email him The passages Because I'd already finished the book And I was tired of it I didn't want to have to rewrite He said can I write about you And I said the lawyer's concerned About some of the pot smoking stuff And he's like fine And then he just said In the email he goes Say whatever you want Just be kind And now I feel like I could have been kinder Well I think that was very telling And the interesting thing about Marcone Who I'd like to interview Is he here? The email was the first time I spoke to him I saw him once And he was such a sweet And very funny Club comic guy He was the guy in New York I remember he had this disposition He loved working with a crowd He was very funny But there was a lot of pot There was a lot of pot And I believe that over time Extensive pot smoking Can somewhat diminish your will To get out and manifest things In your life Well there's a thing called God complex that you can get From smoking too much pot Really I never got that Unless God was terrified All the time And paranoid Where you think you're the greatest And people should just really Come to your house and get you What they want you Is that how you described it in the book Because all I read was that He seemed to think that show business Was just going to come to his apartment I never wanted to leave and go out Oh that's so sad I know but he's I feel like I should probably say He's a great guy I guess I was getting out Some aggressions maybe From our breakups Well you loved him obviously Yeah A lot of people went through A co-in period Some very smart attractive female comics Went through co-in periods But what is it Because there are Some women comedians I know They stay the fuck away from comics I don't get it I don't get it at all Because I think if I was I think every profession Should just date their own profession Because why would you want to talk About somebody else's profession For half the time Like can you imagine Being married to a dentist And then you talk about dentistry What? Oh god So you're saying A dentist has to marry a dentist?
Yes That sounds horrible And that's what Bernie Sanders wants to But wasn't there an issue Because I married a comic And then there's an issue of Sort of like who helps who And where are you Each other in your careers I mean like with Mark It sounds like that Had to be some sort of an issue With that kind of stuff I mean it's difficult Well there would be an issue No matter what If you married somebody Who wasn't a comic There would be an issue With you going on the road Every weekend Well you're with a dude now That Rich is a great comic And he's a great guy He's a legend Right I know in his mind He's like Oh she makes money Yeah He wants me to make money But not as much as him Do you know what I mean He still wants to be I have to make just slightly less than him But you started in Canada How long did you Well let's go back Because you have a back story Like I don't think anyone I've spoken to For one reason you're Canadian Right What part of Canada did you grow up in? I grew up on the border Of Alberta and Saskatchewan What does that look like? Where is that? Actually look it up It's on the west It's like It's in the west Okay It's like It goes British Columbia Right That's where Victoria is Yes That's not a happy place really No I've never been there Culturally very nice Had nice smart people up there Boy that place gets beaten In the winter and shit Yeah It's a tough place to live No the fucking city of Winnipeg Looks like it's just had enough I've never been there It's insane I think that one of their Big tourist stops If you can handle it Is I think it's the windiest Corner in North America I think that's what There's a place Wasn't it like Just built there for trading Yeah I think so For trading Maybe French people were involved I don't know So how far up north Were there people where you were?
It was pretty much The end of the line And the highway And I mean people did live Farther north There was like a But your neighbor was like A mile away kind of shit Yeah And it was Why? I don't know why I mean my dad His grandfather Or his father Left him a piece of land there Or no he had money He went and bought that land there Because I guess it was cheaper He bought a chunk of land So where was he living Was he living in a city My parents were both living in Saskatchewan They were living in a tiny town Like a farming community So they're farmers They're farmers from farmers From farmers From farmers Really? Yeah Holy shit So he's like I'm going to buy this chunk of land And farm it? Yeah So there was nothing on it And he might have been drunk That's why they got married So he's drunk And she's pregnant And they buy a chunk of land She's 19?
Pregnant with you? No with my oldest sister How's she doing? She's good They're doing great And so they had to build a house And take all the rocks off the lands They did all that? They did it all by hand Yeah And so I grew up We didn't have running water When I was growing up So you had shit in a shack?
Yes I'm sorry No no we shat in a can at night If it was too late to go out to the outhouse What? Yeah I had a toilet seat on it A can did? Yes A bucket with a toilet seat Yeah it was as high as a seat It was comfortable When you were a kid No we didn't have TV So we didn't know how Oh my god So this is like wood stove Hand built house kind of shit? Yes We melted snow on the stove Like for our once a week baths and stuff I still only take a bath once a week With snow?
Yes with snow I have it imported How many kids were there? Norway There's four kids Four of you in this I'm picturing kind of like A cabin-ish type of house Not really It was like a run down It was like a shack It was a shack that they built Well their first house burnt down What? Yes When you were alive? My mom was pregnant with me And so then they lived in a trailer On the land Like a camper trailer Not an RV And when I was a baby I guess it was too cold to put me down So I don't know how to carry me the whole time What?
Because there was no heat? Yeah It's like pioneers Yes it's 1800s I know it's so crazy And it's not even hippie shit though It's like he's a farmer in earnest It wasn't like We're off the grid Because civilization is in trouble I used to try to tell people Like I grew up on an organic farm To try to make it seem cooler But no it was just like Some guy that didn't know That was what he was supposed to do Because Well my dad really is proud of being a farmer And he loved living off the land And it's you know So what were you eating as a child? Just shit you grew Or did you have to go to a trading post? No everything was from the farm Literally every single thing on the table was From the get go?
Yeah So We made our own butter You know my mom made our own ketchup Which is disgusting Your mom made ketchup? Yes Everything was How did you even know about ketchup? Why would she do that to you? If you weren't like This isn't we want ketchup And then it's sort of like I'll try to make you some But how could you have even been informed about it?
Probably my dad wanted it He wanted ketchup So there was a lot of experimenting going on So I'll try to recreate something That normal people eat From the supermarket Do you know We weren't recreating from the supermarket You know the supermarket's recreating What people have been doing for centuries I know I bet you ketchup was probably Ketchup is disgusting Homemade ketchup is awful But I'm assuming that ketchup was not a farm item That it didn't originate Right Right Yeah it was a convenience item That some idiot came up with Instead of something else I don't know I don't either I'm sure we could learn it But I'm not doing that right now Because we're in this So we can look at the history of ketchup But I will say this Heinz is not going to be out of the park Nobody comes close No it's the best It's the best ketchup It really is Well yeah because we grew up with it Any ketchup that you get Homemade or otherwise You're going to be judging against Heinz And that's the staple I mean what was the other one Del Monte no good No not even Heinz that's a big one No it's no good But I imagine some idiots in the world They're like I'm kind of a Heinz guy Yeah they're fucked up They don't get it They do not get it But wait okay so what are the ages Of all the kids Because I just want to picture Were you close So there's four girls in five and a half years Wow and you're the youngest You're the youngest Yes but I also have a sister Who's mentally handicapped in there So my second oldest sister Lynn Has Down syndrome So my mom really had her work Full range Yeah So the second The one above you has Down syndrome No two up So you guys dealt with that your whole life Yes but I didn't know she was Until I was probably six or seven Until I realized like something's up But out of the mental handicaps If I'm not being insensitive That's functional And you know they have A full range of emotions And fun and everything right She's amazing Well people you know I've had people say over the years Like I love Down syndrome people Because they're so like wonderful And so happy all the time And it's you know My sister has a terrible temper And you know you have to push her Really hard Which we did We don't I mean you're on the farm What else are you going to do for fun Why don't we push the Mentally challenge sister To the point where she loses it Oh god we were We did you know We were mean to everyone But I remember one time We called her And told her she got Accepted into college And so That's horrible But my sister and I Were in the bedroom laughing So And my other sister Yes we bullied our dozen Yeah and I guess But she You know she got even too Because she I guess my parents Said this up this way You know she owned the VCR So if we wanted to rent a movie She would have to give us the okay Really that's interesting Yeah so she had a little power there Yeah And she would hold the line Oh yeah you had to tell her There was a dog or a kid in it You know So she'd sit there waiting For a dog or a kid And you'd say like I don't know Maybe I didn't remember it properly I thought that was in the previous So this is a very challenging upbringing And also you're like the last one So you're wearing everyone else's clothes And I managed your mom making clothing My mom made clothing Yes yes yes And I got a fight about it once at school Because I'm wearing a frock That some girl made fun of So your dad did he farm Was he a successful farmer Well You know Once they got the farm up and running Then the house burned down Then they got it You know They got the camper They got the camper Then they finally got a new house Well they basically Bought an old house And pulled it onto the farm With a dirt basement Which we slept in What do you mean You slept in a dirt basement Yes my sisters and I We slept downstairs There was no walls No no There was walls But there was carpet over the dirt The ground Yes And there was lots of mice down there You could hear mice All four of you were down there Yes In one room Yep And what were they doing up there It's like one of those Irish There's a lot of words for it I guess I mean it seems primitive But there's a certain part of me That thinks it's a little abusive in a way You know It sounds like you were raised in the wild I know It's embarrassing to talk about Is it Well I mean for a long time I didn't talk about it Because I was embarrassed But then as I got older I realized Nobody lived like that It's such a crazy And you wouldn't assume That you lived like that You seem together You know how to dress properly Not like wearing overalls You're not like grunting Water in a bottle What does the world come to Were you homeschooled No no Okay well that probably saved me My mother was a teacher Oh good So you got proper parenting Yes And your father What was he farming So he was farming cattle And milk cows How many acres did you have Well I don't remember How many acres we had And then my father got cancer And we lost that farm Because you was a father No but we all said goodbye to him They sent him home to die And we all That's what they do in Canada That's a helpful That's what I'll hear about You got cancer Good luck with it You got your diagnosis So uh But he lived What kind of cancer He had stomach cancer Jesus fuck Yeah And he just kicked it Well the story goes I don't know This is in the book I don't know how true this is But supposedly his mother came And told him that he couldn't die Because he had you know A farm and kids to look after And he better get his ass out of bed Get better He got up that day and took a walk And that's the And then he just was better And now he you know Is he still around I do remember us always like every day Taking him for his walk Is he still around Oh yeah yeah So he did take stomach cancer Without medication Just because his mom Well he did chemo And he had a lot of operations He was in the hospital for about a year Oh Jesus How old were you So I was six That's horrible Yeah And then so he came back We had a smaller farm And then we mostly You know we had sort of Our own farm animals Like chickens and cows and stuff But the main thing was A market garden So we had like ten acres of garden That you sold vegetables And that's how you made living Yes that is hard That is some serious manual labor So you had to like You know you had pigs you killed And chickens you killed Yes And cows you killed Yes And probably sheep No sheep No goats I don't think we ever had goats But you had to like do the whole thing Where it's like oh we know that pig And then you know you just watch the pig get older And then eventually you kill it Well you don't name the animals That are for eating Right That's a rule And you were taught that You learn like the cycle of life Pretty early on I had to kill the chickens And that was my job Was like cutting the heads off the chickens Yeah I've seen that happen once It's not good Yeah I think it's like Maybe affected me in life You do? That might be why I'm a comedian Because you had to like Whack those chickens I'd take life Yeah But from what age were you About I was like nine, ten, eleven And that's where you just You grab a chicken It's freaking out You put its head on a piece of wood And you take a large butcher Oh an axe Yeah And you have to hope you hit it right Or else it's going to run around With its head off And dangling from a ten Well they will run no matter what Right And then my sister Lynn She would then go find all the chickens And bring them back The headless chickens Yeah There's one under the car Oh no But there's something Very reasonable about this life Yeah it's you know It's the way Well you eat chicken I assume Some people do They think it's horrifying But it's just because you're up You know This is how it actually works This is how you're getting your But there's an intimacy And everything There's a practicality to eating what you raise as opposed to, you know, this face was horrible, you know, airport hangar sized things filled with cages of fat chickens that can't move that run down a conveyor of immigrant labor just hacking heads off. It's different. I mean, I'm a vegetarian.
Now? Yeah. How long? Off and on for, you know, since I was like probably 20.
So that was one of your big rebellions? As you departed the farm, you're like, fuck this. I couldn't find a black guy in Canada, so I had to go vegetarian. Then I discovered the Jews.
Have you done that joke before? No. I'll write that down. You want to make note of that?
Yeah, no, that's fine. No, I never do anything funny in my eye. Oh, I know. So, all right, so you're living like this, you know, emotionally abusing your mentally challenged sister and cutting heads off a chicken.
Yes, yes. And at what point, how's she doing, by the way? She's great. You know, she lives on her own.
Uh-huh, that's good. So she has workers that come and check on her. And is she up there, are your folks still on the farm? Everybody still lives in Canada.
My parents live on a farm nearby, but they're going to move. My sister actually lives on the second farm that we had. So you have all this property. Yes.
Are any of them still farming? I'm talking about it all the time because, you know, my mom would make homemade bread and we'd take sandwiches to school and the homemade bread would crumble. So I'd always have, like, you know. The mess.
Yes. You're sitting with your friends and you're like, can they please have rotten bread? Just so you won't be mocked for your frock and your crumbly bread. And my sister went to, had a sleepover once and they had TV dinners.
And she would always, we'd always be like, what would I like? What would I like? TV dinners? Yeah, that's about the TV dinners.
So your mom would, like, make stews and shit, stuff that would last a week that you'd sort of have to eat out of the same pot for a week kind of stuff? Yeah, I mean, I guess. Like, you know, we'd have to, like, make butter and you'd put... But you didn't have a churn.
No, you'd have cream in a jar and you'd put a spoon in the jar and you'd just shake it while you're doing your homework or whatever. Oh, right, right. Because, like, if you whip cream enough, it just butters. Yes.
And then you just salt it a little bit. Right. And then, you know, I don't know. It's so stupid.
It's not stupid. It's completely unique. What I don't understand is, like, how do you get from there to here? Like, what moment were you like, I got it, you know, I'm living like an off-the-grid person.
Well, I hated it, you know. I mean, I was like, I fancied myself as... I wanted to be a writer. But where did you learn that?
Were you at school and there were other kids that seemed to be living a life that seemed less harrowing? Well, I guess when I started babysitting and then they had TV. So what did you do? And your dad was a boozy?
He was a boozy? No, not after... The cancer? Yeah, not after the cancer.
Even, you know, they were too broke. He says he stopped drinking because they were too broke to buy alcohol. That usually doesn't stop a cow for our 10th birthdays. And then...
What was your cow's name? Bessie. It's a cliche, yes. But my fourth grade teacher's name was Bessie, so I named the cow.
Oh, after her. Yeah, so I milked the cow every morning and every night. Oh, my God. And I sold my cow's milk at the farmer's market and then I started an ice cream business.
What? And I sold ice cream. What, you made the ice cream at home? Yeah.
And I made crazy, you know, razzle, swirl, rum and raisin. This was like 10, 11, 12, 13 maybe. You figured out how to make ice cream from your mom? Yes.
Was it like one of those wooden basket ice cream makers? Like the wooden, like the wooden outside and you put ice in it and then you put the thing in the middle? Yes, yes. You were like almost Amish.
I know. My homemade clothes churning the ice cream. And were all four daughters at the farmer's market? Well, my sisters didn't.
They just took the money for the cow. So my dad would just give them whatever the blue book value of the cow was. Right. You know, 60 bucks or something.
But I actually took the cow. I got a pregnant cow because I picked the fattest one. So then I had, you know, I had a little business going for a while. Was it your brand?
Was it Bonnie's ice cream? No, it was just ice cream. City folk. To buy ice cream from the strange farm family.
It was like lying around the block for my ice cream. Really? People would call the house and order it. Really?
Yes. Why didn't you stick with that? I know. I think I should have just been an entrepreneur.
So, okay. So you started babysitting and watching television. And what was the impulse there? And then I couldn't wait to get away.
I go to a city, you know, sort of. And then I went to college a little bit. I took radio and television cards. Nate, Northern Alberta Institute of Technology.
So you got out a bit? Yeah. And your parents were excited about that? They weren't like, who's going to take care of the cow?
They didn't like that. I think they wanted me to stay. I mean, I moved to Vancouver. I don't think they wanted me to go that far.
Right. And then I was working at an advertising agency. In Vancouver. In Vancouver.
Were you going to school? I was done school then. And then I started freelancing. This advertising agency helped me get a lot of sort of freelance work.
Doing what? You know, writing menus or pamphlets or stuff. But I was also waitressing still at the time because I needed money. So you were in Vancouver with people?
Yeah. I like Vancouver. Yeah, it was good. I enjoyed it too.
And you were like 20? Yeah, I think it was 20. So you're working at an advertising agency and writing menus and pamphlets. You're waitressing.
So where do you grab... So then I got a job as a hostess at a comedy club. Which one? At the Punchline.
I don't know if it's still there. Mark Rezman's voice? No, it was independent and in Gastown. And it blew my mind.
I wanted to write stand-up. So I started my... You just took the job because you saw it listing. No, somebody at the restaurant had said that they were looking for someone.
They were telling someone else. And I went down there and got the job. I stole it out from under them. And you were like blown away by comedy.
That was the first time you saw a live comedy. I'd seen it one other time. Do you remember who it was? The very first comedian that I ever saw was Stanley Olman?
I don't know. Anyway, no. The first time I was in Anaheim. My mom had taken us to Disneyland.
Oh, that was nice of her. In your frocks? Yes. So then, anyway, so he'd been playing poker at our house for years before I realized that was the guy.
I said a joke of the first guy I ever saw. And I'm like, that's him. Oh, you've been playing at Mark Conley? Yeah, Mark Conley had that weekly poker game and he was one of the guys.
Really? He had a very funny opening joke where he came on stage and he didn't say anything to the mic. He just fixed his coffee and moved his notes around for a really long time. And then he goes, well, when you go to work, do you start right away?
And the audience fell out. So you saw Stanley Olman and then he gets his job as a hostess at the Punchline in Vancouver, in Gastown. And so you're seeing all the Canadian dudes? Yeah.
Like who? Like Ian Bag, I remember. Craig Campbell was another guy. These guys were, they've been doing it maybe like between two and four years but I thought they were amazing.
Right, well, Bag's like our age. Huh? Bag's like our age, right? So he was the one who told me, like you can't, because I was like trying to sell jokes to comedians.
I've been writing these jokes and he was like, that's ridiculous. You can't, that's how it works. Are you friends with him still? Yeah, he's a great guy.
And very funny. He's really amazing at crowd work. Oh no, he's a crowd work guy. And then, because I was the hostess, I took the calls a lot.
People would call and they'd say, who do you got coming in? And you'd say something like, are they American? And you'd be like, no. And they'd be like, well, when ain't you got an American guy coming in?
They only wanted to see Americans. Who was the first American you saw? Like, now you work with these guys. I mean, now you see them.
A lot of them, like, remembered me as the hostess. Of course they did. They're on the road, they're like, who's that chick? I didn't have sex with it.
Well, no, but I'm sure they tried. I mean, there was a lot of partying. Really? In comedy?
It's crazy. And then I eventually started doing it. What, like at the open mic? I went to the Yuck Yucks open mic, because if you did stand-up, you know, that was a rule.
The punchline, you couldn't date one of the comics and you couldn't do stand-up. Really? Yeah. It probably worked out better in terms of Yuck Yucks being some sort of, you know, strange monopoly of the entire Canadian landscape to get started there.
I got started there. So you started doing open mics and what did you do? Then I won a contest that was like the funniest new comic in Canada. I won the whole thing.
Really early. Like how many years in? Maybe like six times. What?
Yeah, no, I had done it a lot, for sure. Six times in? Well, I definitely went to the contest. The reason I went into the contest was so I could get more stage time.
And you started touring? And then after that, I moved to Toronto. What was that name of that place? The Laugh Resort?
Yes, but I worked for Yuck Yucks. I was like, I'm a comedian. I want to do your show. And he was like, what are you mean?
What are you talking about? I don't know why he entertained this, but he said, okay, I have workmen in my office. They're fixing the ceiling. If you can make them laugh, I'll put you on the show.
So I have my notebook out. You walked in, or this was on the phone? This was on the phone. So he put you on speaker?
That was your audition? That was my audition. I got the show. Well, he asked me if I was cute.
Was it over the TV show? Yes. Yes, and one of the first questions, I think before I even did the stand-up, he was like, are you cute? So he put you on speaker, and what did you do?
I just did my jokes that I had in my notebook. I didn't think it was weird. I honestly, when I called, that's what I thought might happen. I didn't think like, okay.
So you have to do your jokes on the phone? Yeah. Was there no videotapes then? Yes, there was, but I just, I was naive.
I didn't know. Did you hear yourself getting laughs from the workroom? Yes, and I started doing a little bit of crowd work with the workroom. That's the best audition I've ever heard.
Then I went and did the show and bombed really bad. It was not an easy room, I don't think. Caroline's, that one. None of them were.
Like, Caroline's in Times Square, it gets so huge. Well, that's the thing, unless it's filled, it's hard. Yeah, but then eventually they built that curtain so they could close enough to make you feel less shitty. It makes you feel more shitty.
It does, but like, that curtain's coming close. There's all the tears, yes. And then they leave a little open for four comics or five comics to sit at that one table so they could look through the curtain. Yeah, yeah, I remember.
I never played that much. I never got along with that guy. But, surprise. So that was, you moved to New York?
Then I moved to New York, yeah. Because it went so well? Well, Jeff Sussman sort of convinced, so I didn't know Jeff Sussman and he'd written me a letter. Yeah.
You know, after I won Best Comic in Canada, he knew about it somehow and he'd seen a picture of me so he asked me if he could manage me but I just ignored it because I didn't know what a manager was or anything. And so then when Louis Miranda said, who's your manager? Yeah. I just said, Jeff Sussman.
I had a letter from him. Yeah. And then I called Jeff Sussman and I said, I told him I was your manager and he goes, because I am. Really?
Yes. He was excited. So then he convinced me to, Are you still with him? And I was probably a dick to him.
But those guys that stayed on their own and, you know, in bed on a couple of lucky horses and made a life, I have respect for those people. But he had a good eye. Who else? Do you remember who else he had?
I can't remember. I just know. Brian Frazier. Do you remember him?
Sure. What would you do if I sang out a key? And then he spit a key out. But I interviewed him.
Look at my wingspan. It was funny. I interviewed Brian. He started with me, actually, in Boston.
He's here. He writes things. He did a one-man show about anxiety. He wrote some books.
Yeah, some books. He also had Frazier. Oh, Ted Alexandro. Oh, yeah.
I wonder if he's still with him. I don't think so. All right, so now you're rolling. You're in New York.
You got a manager. And then I met you right after that. Right, and then you just started a long string of fucking Jews. Yes, and then Jew comedians, please.
I'm sorry, Jew comedians. It's a smaller even. Was it because you just never experienced Jews before? Well, you know, I've always liked Jews because Jewish men, in my experience, are verbal, which I like having that exchange.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that was part of it. They never shut up. Yes, I love it.
Who wants to cuddle? Yeah, you just want to talk. Or even just listen. In which case, I just listen.
And help them feel better about themselves. That's what you're talking about. Listening to Jewish men talk and help them feel better about themselves. I'm used to struggle, so I feel like we come together on that.