Episode 726: The Truth About Strong Women, Self-Abandonment, and Learning to Say No with Allana Kaivalya

This week, I'm back with Alanna Kaivalya, PhD, author of The Way of the Satisfied Woman and expert on mythology, feminine psychology, and spiritual empowerment. This is part two of our conversation, and it might be even better than the first. We picked up right where we left off, and Alanna came with receipts. She goes deep on the practical, embodied, sometimes uncomfortable work of actually stopping the self-abandonment cycle. Not just recognizing it, but interrupting it in real time. We talked about what it means to reclaim your energy from the people and systems that have been draining it, what happens in your relationships when you start saying no, and why so many of us are still waiting for permission we were never going to get. (Link to our first conversation is in the show notes.) What you'll hear about in this episode: The one practice Alanna teaches every woman first: tuning into your body's “sacred no” and how to use it as a real-time pattern interrupt before you abandon yourself again Why stopping your over-functioning will feel messy at first, and why that mess is the point, including the laundry that will pile up and why you should let it The feminine guilt trap: why women feel guilty not for what we've done, but for what someone else might feel, and how to tell the difference between genuine wrongdoing and simply inconveniencing people Why Alanna believes the “let them” philosophy is being used against us, and why she wants to make accountability sexy again instead What Alanna's own past relationship revealed about the danger of “masculine armor,” and what happens when a capable woman attracts a partner who uses her strength as permission to stop showing up Last, a reminder to follow me on Substack if you want to get my longer form writing I’ve been doing lately. I’ll be writing to unpack some pretty big topics, and would love to interact with listeners of the podcast over there 😀 Resources from this episode:Follow me on SubstackAlanna’s previous episode on the podcastAlanna’s websiteAlanna Kaivalya, PhD, is a bestselling author, educator, thought leader, and expert on mythology, spirituality, psychology, and women’s empowerment. The author of The Way of the Satisfied Woman, Sacred Sound, and Myths of the Asanas, she earned a doctorate in mythological studies with an emphasis in depth psychology from Pacifica Graduate Institute and is the host of The Satisfied Woman podcast. She lives in Los Angeles. More information at TheSatisfiedWoman.com. Book recommendations:I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading! MSN is supported by:We love the sponsors that make our show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: andreaowen.com/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices