Episode 8. Loss of Self With Brain Injury. Discussion with Randy

Randy is a brain injury survivor I have been speaking with for years. We share all types of ideas and experiences. Even so the details we relate can be difficult to make sense of. No two brain injuries are alike, but the brain injury parts can be shockingly similar. The passage he reads at the beginning of this recording is called Lessons From The Damned II, and the author is not known to us. A copy of the passage is below. - If any one knows the author I would love to speak with that person and thank you for capturing these accurate aspects of the brain injury in writing.Lessons From The Damned II -Author UnknownThe loss of self is often the tragic consequence of brain injury. The medical profession seldom addresses it, yet it is a loss so profound that many never recover from it. Even a mild brain injury can seriously compromise human potential for learning, and personal growth.In the blink of an eye you are transformed from a vital, productive person into a mere shadow of the former self. Then after what passes for a reasonable period of convalescence you take stock of yourself, and find that you are way behind where you ought to be. And, the most frightening realization is that you no longer possess the capacity to catch up. All things considered is there any wonder that the self worth, and sense of self (personal identity) are down the tubes.Living with brain injury is a process that requires tremendous accommodation and adaptation. Brain injury changes the way your brain functions and as a result everything about you changes. The way you feel changes. The way you see yourself, and way you see the world changes too. Things that were once second nature become strange, and difficult. Things that were once easy, and routine now require considerably more time, and effort.The extra effort, vigilance, and concentration needed to compensate for such deficits result in an enormous fatiguing effect. Such extra effort produces a continuous drain on already taxed energy levels, and results in chronic fatigue. Intellectual functions such as short-term memory, reasoning ability, and judgment tend to deteriorate as fatigue increases. The extraordinary effort required to compensate for such impairments give rise to a vicious cycle that leads to feelings of inadequacy, discouragement, irritability and depression.To that mix you add problems caused by: a defective attention span, dis-inhibition, faulty visual acuity, diminished alertness, and altered consciousness and you've got an ugly mess on your hands. Stripped of your vitality and sense of self, there you are naked, exposed, foolish, full of misjudgments, impulsivity, and indiscretions. More dead than alive your life takes on features of the damned, the unloved and the unwashed.Once you come to terms with the horrifying mess that you life now resembles; the next step is to learn to live well in spite of it. Sounds easy enough, but the doing of it takes insights, skill and determination, but it can be done, and we can show you how. The alternative is to throw yourself off a cliff and be done with it, because unless you take it in hand it will become the dog that wags you.-----Experiencing My Brain is a podcast devoted to detailed discussion with brain injury survivors about their experiences, problems, and ways that they have found to navigate their lives. These stories are important to help the non brain injured world make sense of the problems that come with brain injury.