Episode 88: Why Is It So Hard for Moms to Let Our Kids Figure It Out? | Mom Control & Learning to Step Back

Why is it so hard for moms to let our kids figure things out on their own even when we know they're completely capable? In this episode of Struggle & Strength: Moms Balancing It All with Nikki, Nikki shares a hilarious and surprisingly emotional moment from her kids' very first cross-country race. Before the race even started, Nikki overheard a couple of dads joking about whether they were going to be “those parents” who ran alongside their kids from the sidelines. Her immediate thought? Who would do that?! Minutes later, Nikki was running all over the course in flip-flops, trying to get to every possible spot where she could cheer, encourage and yes, probably coach her kids as they ran by. And somehow, in the middle of all that running and yelling, she started crying so hard she could barely call out her kids' names. The irony made her realize something much bigger about motherhood. We say we want to raise independent, capable kids. But then we remind them, coach them, fix things for them, anticipate their problems, prevent their mistakes, and sometimes struggle to give them enough space to discover just how capable they really are. Are we helping our kids because they need help or because stepping back is harder for us than it is for them? In this episode, Nikki explores: Why moms struggle to give up control even when our kids are capable The difference between supporting our kids and constantly stepping in Why watching our children struggle can be harder for us than it is for them How over-helping can unintentionally take away opportunities to build confidence Why mistakes, discomfort and figuring things out are an important part of growing up How a mom's role changes as our children become more independent The simple question Nikki is now asking herself before jumping in to help After six years of running with her kids, starting with half a mile and eventually working up to four miles, Nikki realized something while watching them complete their first cross-country race: She had already taught them how to run. Now she had to let them. Because sometimes raising capable kids means resisting the urge to prove how much they still need us and giving them the space to discover: “I've got this.” Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with another mom who might just recognize a little bit of herself in the crazy woman running around the sidelines in flip-flops. 📲 Connect with Nikki: Instagram: @nikkiwallace247 Facebook: @ConnectWithNikkiW