Episode 96 - Jurassic Ark

Send us Fan MailThis week, Moroni kicks things off with the Septimillennial Spritzer, a light and refreshing cocktail perfect for brunch and existential dread alike. We chat about pop culture, including the film My Old Ass, which might have been written directly from Abigail’s brain, and Apple Cider Vinegar, a wild dramatization of wellness grift queen Belle Gibson. Also, why do we wear pants? Blame Genghis Khan.Scriptures: [00:13:32]Joseph Smith enters his Sméagol self-interview era in D&C 77-79, answering his own questions about Revelation with confidence only a 19th-century prophet could muster. aaAAAaaa breaks down the bizarre Q&A format, discussing the earth’s “glass skin era,” heaven’s divine zoo, and why John just...ate a book. Somehow, this all leads to a fake TikTok transcript from “ProphetBabe77.” You don’t want to miss this one.Church Teachings: [00:37:20]Abish takes us through the varying interpretations of Revelation across Christianity, from symbolic idealism to the hardcore “rapture is coming” crowd. Naturally, we compare these views to Joseph Smith’s personal remix, which takes some bold liberties. We also get an iconic mom text about California wildfires fulfilling prophecy, because of course.History: [00:53:13]Abigail is back with some hot history, diving into the 7,000-year earth timeline that Mormonism inherited from Bishop James Ussher. Turns out, this guy just counted Bible “begats” backward and landed on an October 23rd, 4004 BCE creation date. Solid science, obviously. We trace the timeline’s shaky foundations, why Mormons just can’t let it go, and how dinosaurs threw a massive wrench in their theology. Also, why were Mormon cultural halls so obsessed with chair holes? We may never know.Follow us on Insta @gr8_and_spacious, Twitter @gr8andspacious, Discord (https://discord.gg/pdeXSQdga) and Reddit u/gr8_and_spacious for behind-the-scenes shenanigans, hilarious memes, and maybe even a sneak peek at our next episode..If you've got a burning question, a hilarious anecdote, or just want to say hi, shoot us an epistle at [email protected] don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a review of our podcast!Support the show