Episode #98 When to Push, When to Pause, and When to Let Go

Training a wild mustang is teaching me something I did not expect: there is rarely one perfect way to do anything. In this episode of the Mustang Summer series, I share what happened when three experienced horsewomen approached the same challenge in completely different ways—and how quickly my brain turned someone else’s idea into proof that I was wrong. It wasn’t. It was simply another option. And in that moment, it was the option that worked. From rebuilding Denny’s trust in fly spray to navigating bridges, trailers, obstacle courses, and the deeply ingrained belief that you should never “let the horse win,” this episode explores what changes when we stop forcing every situation through the one method we already know. Because horses, children, relationships, therapy, and life are not one-size-fits-all. The answer depends on the horse you have today, the person you have today, the circumstances in front of you—and your willingness to notice when your own fear, expectations, or need to be right are shaping what happens next. I also share why we so often assign negative intentions to someone else’s behavior, how our bodies can communicate something entirely different from what we think we are asking for, and what Denny’s decision to jump over a bridge taught me about recognizing when someone has simply reached their limit. And beneath all of it is an even more personal realization: working with Denny has brought me back to a version of myself I had left behind for more than a decade. In this episode, you’ll hear: Why there is no single “right” way to train a horse—or move through life How Denny developed a negative association with fly spray and how we are slowly rebuilding trust The subtle body-language cue that tells me Denny is becoming uncomfortable How pressure, release, positive reinforcement, and observation can work together What happened when another horsewoman used a completely different approach to an obstacle How my need to be the knowledgeable one created a story that was never actually happening Why we frequently assign intentions to horses, partners, children, and other people The difference between a horse refusing, resisting, becoming overwhelmed, and simply being finished Why “winning” may be the wrong goal when you are building trust How our unconscious fear can give a horse the opposite signal from the one we intended What horses can teach us about flexibility, leadership, communication, and staying curious The part of myself I rediscovered when I returned to horses This conversation is about more than Mustang training. It is about loosening your grip on the belief that there is one correct answer, becoming curious about what is actually happening, and responding to the individual in front of you instead of following a rigid formula. It is also an invitation to remember the part of yourself you may have let go of because life became busy, practical, or complicated. Maybe that part of you is still there, waiting for you to come back. Follow Landy and Denny’s Mustang Summer journey on Instagram at @landy_peek.