Eps 110: Finding the Need Beneath the Behavior with Alison Smith

Meet Alison Smith, mother to two adorable kids, proud wife, former elementary school teacher and now teacher coach, advocate and revolutionary in win/win parenting. Like many of us Alison had visions of being the best, doing the best and really being that one adult that impacted her students lives powerfully. As a self identified recovering perfectionist, Alison entered the teaching world and become a mother. It did not take long to identify that something in the work with children had to change. Fueled by her passion and her journey, Aliso identified a need for teachers to feel supported in their work. In her coaching, teachers are inspired and supported to be the most authentic, joyful and wholehearted teacher they can be.   IN THIS EPISODE: Alison shares Bonnie Harris’ iceberg analogy and how it guides parents to identify the underlying root of a child’s behavior. Like a medical issue, we often treat the symptom until the symptoms persist then we are forced to find the root cause. Realizing that the child’s behavior that triggers us is the root cause of our reaction and inability to connect and show up best for the child. Only when we dig into our roots and what is underneath our icebergs can we better guide our children through their own experiences. Triggers can cause us to panic and ‘future trip’ into fear about our child’s behavior, enabling us into unhelpful methods. Using our curiosity to dig to the root - is my child hungry, tired, overstimulated, cold, hot, uncomfortable, lonely?. Once we identify our triggers we can move into the practice of showing up the way our kids need us to. We chose connection and enforcement that they matter. Often we misjudge our kids motivation and intention leading to disconnection and an increase in the child’s mischief. Once a parent gets it and truly understands the process begins within the parent first then the practice strengthens and the child, family and parent begin to thrive. There is no one perfect general response to situations with your child.  Practicing prevention, in-the-moment and then repair strategies alleviate and get to the root of the issue. An open conversation on how parenting is shifting from authoritarian to permissive. Why parents today need something to change and are willing to find the courage to revolutionize how the adult/child relationship evolves.  Where to find Alison: Website l Facebook l Instagram l You Tube  Change the World in A Generation (video) *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices