Eps 183: Your kids are not manipulating you. episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 16, 2019 · 35 MIN

Eps 183: Your kids are not manipulating you.

from Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens · host Casey O'Roarty

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::   Winging it in the closet!   Thank you for the review, Lauren!   Listening to my clients and group participants…. Amazing the expansive way we can see/here for the other person.   The idea that kids get into mischief, make mistakes, AND well meaning, loving parents get stuck into thinking “they are manipulating me/trying to get what they want/playng me” Foundation of Adlerian theory – behavior being movement in the direction of belonging and significance As young children – always perceiving/interpreting/beliefs/action (private logic) Do I belong? Do I matter? Do I have influence? Am I safe? We are asking and answering those questions through our own lens, which has been developed over time, through experience and relationships we have lived through Kids are cut and dry, their private logic is experienced as “truth” Perception of emotional safety matters “I’m curious… I notice you don’t want to talk about problems after the fact…. Can you tell me about that?” Goal is to help them observe themselves Having a conversation about the conversation Curiosity has no agenda, it’s not a “method” Curiosity is non-judgmental and open THIS TAKES PRACTICE PEOPLE! Call it out when the space feels judge-y and own what we have brought in the past Asking VS Telling Experiential activity Play with this!! Remember there are layers!!   :::::   Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey   This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.   Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book   Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!   The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join   Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!   ::::   Authentic Parenting Conference Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!   I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.   If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!   Come play with me!!   ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::   Winging it in the closet!   Thank you for the review, Lauren!   Listening to my clients and group participants…. Amazing the expansive way we can see/here for the other person.   The idea that kids get into mischief, make mistakes, AND well meaning, loving parents get stuck into thinking “they are manipulating me/trying to get what they want/playng me” Foundation of Adlerian theory – behavior being movement in the direction of belonging and significance As young children – always perceiving/interpreting/beliefs/action (private logic) Do I belong? Do I matter? Do I have influence? Am I safe? We are asking and answering those questions through our own lens, which has been developed over time, through experience and relationships we have lived through Kids are cut and dry, their private logic is experienced as “truth” Perception of emotional safety matters “I’m curious… I notice you don’t want to talk about problems after the fact…. Can you tell me about that?” Goal is to help them observe themselves Having a conversation about the conversation Curiosity has no agenda, it’s not a “method” Curiosity is non-judgmental and open THIS TAKES PRACTICE PEOPLE! Call it out when the space feels judge-y and own what we have brought in the past Asking VS Telling Experiential activity Play with this!! Remember there are layers!!   :::::   Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey   This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.   Presale is April 10th – as many of you as possible buying presale would be FABULOUS. Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book   Official launch date is May 20th – OMG – so so exciting!!!   The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already. Sign up at www.joyfulcourage.com/join   Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!! I appreciate you and we are ALMOST THERE!!!!   ::::   Authentic Parenting Conference Anna Seewald, host of the Authentic Parenting Podcast, and parent coach, has put together a steller day of learning and growing together in New Brunswick, NJ. I am so excited about it that I decided that I WANTED TO GO TOO!!   I am going to be there, Dr. Laura Markham will be delivering a keynote (ah-maze-ing), and the whole thing just looks like super soul care on fire.   If you are interested, click here https://authenticparenting.com/conference and use the discount code JOYFUL25 for $25 off the registration fee!!   Come play with me!!   ::::: Be a Subscriber Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!! AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!! CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Eps 183: Your kids are not manipulating you.

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This episode is 35 minutes long.

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This episode was published on April 16, 2019.

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Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group - Live and Love with Joyful Courage. Raising our children while growing ourselves... ::::   Winging it in the closet!   Thank you for the review, Lauren!   Listening to my clients and...

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