Eroticizing Trauma, Fear and Jealousy

Please note that this episode includes discussion of rape and sexual assault. Everyone processes relationship jealousy and traumatic experiences, like sexual assault, differently. Some people find that avoiding situations that cause jealousy and avoiding situations that remind them of their past experiences of assault help them remain emotionally healthy.While these strategies are useful for many, Vanessa shares a different, potentially unconventional approach she uses to release trauma, fear and jealousy. Rather than avoiding the jealousy-provoking or triggering experiences, she leans into them, exposing herself to them in intimate settings, asking her partners for help eroticizing them through kink and sexual play. Hearing intense details about the sexual activities of her partners and roleplaying with consensual non-consent (CNC) have allowed Vanessa to overcome years of struggle with these feelings. She offers recommendations for how this approach may be helpful for people exploring options to overcome fears like relationship abandonment and assault.