Esther Marshall on Grief, High Achievement, Emotional Resilience & Holding It All Together

Some people don’t just achieve, they achieve as though their life depends on it. In this deeply honest episode of The Courageous Leaders Podcast, I sit down with Esther Marshall, former global gender diversity leader at Unilever and founder of Sophie Says, to ask a question so many of us avoid: who are you when achievement isn’t enough?This is a conversation about grief, high achievement, emotional resilience, and the pressure of holding everything together when life refuses to cooperate. Esther shares her story with extraordinary openness: losing her sister Rebecca to suicide, caring for grandparents through Alzheimer’s, a miscarriage during IVF, and losing her mother to pancreatic cancer, all while building a business and refusing to stop proving herself. It is also the story of the breakthrough that finally let her stop failing quietly and start succeeding loudly. If you have ever tied your worth to what you achieve, this one will stay with you.If you or someone you know is affected by anything discussed in this episode, you can contact Samaritans free, 24/7, on 116 123 or at samaritans.org.What We Cover:00:00 Intro01:30 Why "High Achiever" Can Tip Into "Never Enough"04:41 Climbing the Ladder at Unilever, and Being "Hard to Manage"10:14 Leading a Team When Your Standards Are Sky High11:37 The Maternity Leave Project That Became Sophie Says14:29 Losing Rebecca to Suicide16:34 The Book Written the Night She Passed Away20:21 The Rainbow, and Learning to Let People In21:29 Carrying a Legacy, and the Weight That Comes With It23:08 Alzheimer's, and Grief That Wouldn't Stop24:18 IVF, Miscarriage, and Learning to Keep Going25:48 The "Miracle" Baby, and a Mother's Pancreatic Cancer Diagnosis30:13 Why She Chose to Run a Marathon the Day Her Mum Died34:52 The Therapy Breakthrough That Changed Everything38:46 "I'm Failing Quietly, but I Want to Succeed Loudly"41:00 Building Sophie Says Into a Movement for Generational Change48:53 Learning to Walk Before Running Again50:13 A Message for Anyone Sitting in Fear, Ready to Begin51:40 What Courage Really Means to EstherKey Reflections:• Why high achievement can quietly become a form of self-harm• Why grief isn't something you "get over," and why returning to normal too quickly often makes healing harder• How to separate your self-worth from your achievements and results• Why asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness• How changing the way you frame a failure can completely reshape your life• Why children need emotionally safe parents, not perfect onesEsther’s honesty is a reminder that courage isn’t the absence of pain, it’s getting up and showing up through it. If this episode moves you, I’d love to hear your biggest takeaway in the comments.Find out more about Sophie Says: https://www.sophiesaysofficial.com/Follow Esther Masrshall:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sophiesaysofficial/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegrievingfounder👍 Stay inspired by joining our YouTube community! Click the link, hit the subscribe button, leave a comment, and never miss an episode. Your support helps us empower courageous leaders like you!https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2kZ-x8fDHKEVb222qpQ_NQ🚀 Elevate Your Leadership:Book a call for transformative leadership and team coaching:Website: https://thechangecreators.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joannahowes/ → Join our newsletter for courageous leadership insights and advice. 👉 Subscribe here: https://the-change-creators.kit.com/1a5f3c9e54