Every Pastor has a Secret Struggle: Musings on Addiction, Sex, and Scandal in the Church

It happened again. A pastor in the prime of his ministry years was caught up in sexual scandal. Pornography. Secrecy. Affairs. Multiple partners. Drama. Everything we've seen before. And it's bad; we could even say reprehensible. How did this happen? And what does it have to do with recovery work? Once again, addiction is not about sex, and it's not about drugs; it's about the compulsive patterns we fall into to protect ourselves from pain. It's about the relationships we form with heightened experiences and risky behaviors. It's about what we do in the present to manage pain from the past.  No one can "just stop" an addiction because no one "just started," acting out.  Further, there are patterns within church culture that tend to promote compulsive behavior patterns, extreme mental and emotional states, and the overall chaos that promotes acting out, secrecy, and the resulting scandals. Can we as a church culture change? Can we grow, and heal, and set our leaders up for greater health and success? I say, yes! Here's some ideas for how. First, remember that all ministry people have sins and struggles, and don't be surprised about this. Second, ministry people need a venue for confession. Third, ministry people need adequate emotional and relational resources. Fourth, ministry people should limit their public exposure, and take extreme measures to avoid the fame monster. Disband the mega-churches! Take down the YouTube channel! Hold restrictive office hours and spend more time writing journals and letters and praying for their people! Fifth, remember that our identity is in Christ, not in the number of followers we have. Sixth, every seminarian should be required to be in counseling, and to do a Full Disclosure Process. Seventh, every pastoral figure should be required to remain in an active counseling process the duration of their public ministry. Eighth, every pastoral figure needs a confessor. Ninth, Pastors should be married before beginning official ministry, or remain single throughout their career, so as to avoid the situation of potentially dating someone in their care.  Tenth, we all need to acknowledge the not-so-secret struggles of our clergy...and pray for them.  #addiction #recovery #addictionrecovery #sobriety #sex #sexuality #compulsion #compulsivesexualbehavior #scandal #secrets #shame #ministry #church #religion #spiritualabuse #pastors #priests #confession #accountability #church