Everyone Is in Sales (Even If You Don't Think So) | Ashley Hayden

Ashley Hayden, a Melbourne-based commercial growth and marketing leader who also runs a small wine business as a creative outlet. Ashley defines influence primarily as the perception you create in others, emphasizing that what really matters is how people receive and interpret your words, actions, and positioning. He links influence closely to trust, connection, and storytelling, arguing that everyone is in sales because we are constantly selling ideas, ourselves, or our work, whether we realize it or not. Ashley highlights the power of creative storytelling to build relationships in both business and personal life, and stresses that genuine influence also depends on being an excellent listener—using our “two ears and one mouth” in the right proportion. Throughout, he and Anton use examples like movies, wine, and workshops to illustrate how recommendations and stories shape others’ perceptions and decisions.   Takeaways:   Influence is perception-based Ashley defines influence as the perception you create in others—it’s less about what you say about yourself and more about how others receive, interpret, and talk about you when you’re not in the room. Everyone is in sales (whether they know it or not) From coders to executives, everyone is constantly “selling” themselves, their ideas, or their work. Recommendations about movies, books, or restaurants are all everyday examples of selling through enthusiasm and belief. Storytelling and listening are core influence skills Creative storytelling builds connection and trust, but it must be paired with deep listening—using “two ears and one mouth” in proportion—to really understand others’ problems and influence their thinking in a meaningful, respectful way.   Quotes: "I think that influence then is about the perception that people create... you can talk about yourself as much as you want, you can talk about your business as much as you want, but it's really about how other people receive that." "I always say... we're all salesmen, we're all [in sales]... that person at some point had to get the opportunity to be able to write their code, so they sold themselves at some point." "We have two ears and we have one mouth for a reason... you should listen twice as much as what you should speak."   Timeline:   0:00 – 1:20 | Ashley’s definition of influence (perception and trust) Influence as the perception you create in others; trust as a core part of that. 1:20 – 3:56 | Anton’s intro: Leaders of Influence & Ashley’s background Podcast positioning, why influence matters, and Ashley’s corporate/consulting bio. 3:56 – 5:35 | The wine side-hustle story Ashley’s small wine business, being his own best customer, and mixing passion with business. 5:35 – 7:18 | Learning wine by doing & creative outlet Leaving corporate comfort, learning winemaking hands-on, and using wine as a creative outlet. 7:18 – 9:26 | Defining influence: perception created, not words said Ashley explains influence as perception, pitches, and how others talk about you when you’re not in the room. 9:26 – 13:07 | Everyone is in sales (movies, recommendations, and influence) How everyday recommendations are selling; influence in workshops and casual conversations. 13:07 – 15:35 | Storytelling, movie choices & shaping perception Using favorite movies as icebreakers, how your choices create a specific perception. 15:35 – 19:00 | Storytelling, connection, and the power of listening Campfire origins of storytelling, two ears/one mouth, and why listening is a core influence skill. 19:00 – 23:58 | Mentors, stewardship, and long-term influence Ashley’s 17-year mentor story, values, trust, and when the mentor becomes the mentee. 23:58 – 28:21 | Family influence, spouses, and leadership loneliness Influence of parents and partners, feedback from spouses, and how lonely leadership can be. 28:21 – 32:41 | Hospitality leadership and seeking support Influence challenges in hospitality, transient teams, and the need for mentors/peer circles. 32:41 – 35:45 | Pride in others’ growth: mentees and entrepreneurs Stories of people Ashley has mentored, from note-taking lessons to a dance & kids’ science business. 35:45 – 39:13 | People, planning, and performance: the execution triad Right people, clear plan, and actually performing—why execution is where many get stuck. 39:13 – 41:00 | One team, one message: Ashley’s leadership mantra Lessons from elite teams, avoiding silos, and aligning everyone around a simple, shared message. 41:00 – end | Anton’s recap and call to action Summary of key influence ideas, book mention, and how to go deeper with Leaders of Influence.   Conclusion:   This episode centers on Ashley Hayden’s core idea that influence is the perception you create in others, not just the story you tell about yourself. Through examples from consulting, wine-making, and everyday life, Ashley and Anton show that everyone is in sales, constantly “selling” ideas, values, and character in how they show up. They highlight storytelling and deep listening as the practical skills that turn influence into trust and real connection. Ashley’s experiences with mentors, mentees, and hospitality leaders underline that growth comes from supportive relationships, clear plans, and committed execution. The conversation lands on a simple leadership mantra—“one team, one message”—as the anchor for any leader who wants to influence with clarity, consistency, and integrity.