EXPERT: Parenting the Spicy One with Mary Van Geffen

Hello Brave Friends! Welcome to today’s expert episode, #244, featuring Mary Van Geffen, author of Parenting a Spicy One and parenting coach for families raising strong-willed, intense children.These expert episodes are conversations with professionals whose work directly supports caregiving parents. In this episode, hosts Susanna Peace Lovell and Jessica Patay sit down with Mary to explore what it really means to parent a child who feels like they “need more than you have to give.”Mary reframes the concept of the “spicy one”—a child who is strong-willed, emotionally intense, and often misunderstood—and challenges traditional parenting approaches that rely solely on discipline and control. Instead, she emphasizes compassion, emotional regulation, positive reinforcement, and what she calls “self-mothering” for parents. The conversation explores how self-care is essential—but not selfish—and how parents can protect themselves during aggressive outbursts while still leading with calm and clarity.They also discuss sibling dynamics, navigating public perception, and the emotional complexity that can arise when one child requires significantly more energy than others. Mary encourages parents to name challenges openly, normalize the struggle, and create supportive environments where both parents and children can grow.This episode offers practical tools, hopeful reframes, and the reminder that strong-willed children can grow into powerful advocates and leaders when met with steadiness and understanding.Find more information about Mary Van Geffen here.Find her book, Parenting a Spicy One, here.Find more information about Life Coach, Susanna Peace Lovell here.Find Susanna’s book, Your True Self is Enough here.Find our first book from We Are Brave Together here.Find FULL episodes and clips of our podcast on Youtube here.Brave Together is the podcast for We are Brave Together, a not-for-profit organization based in the USA. The heart of We Are Brave Together is to strengthen, encourage, inspire and validate all moms of children with disabilities and other needs in their unique journeys. JOIN the international community of We Are Brave Together here. Donate to support all of We Are Brave Together's programs and offerings here. Can’t get enough of the Brave Together Podcast? Follow us on Instagram , Facebook and Youtube. Feel free to contact Jessica Patay via email: [email protected] If you have any topic requests or if you would like to share a story, leave us a message here.Please leave a review and rating today! We thank you in advance!Disclaimer