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Experts Explain Trauma | Why Do I Feel Sorry for My Abuser?

An episode of the Healing and Growing, Hand in Hand podcast, hosted by Lisa Tickel, titled "Experts Explain Trauma | Why Do I Feel Sorry for My Abuser?" was published on January 10, 2026 and runs 23 minutes.

January 10, 2026 ·23m · Healing and Growing, Hand in Hand

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Summary

Why do survivors sometimes feel sympathy for their abuser—even after deep harm?In this episode of Experts Explain Trauma, UK-based counselling psychologist Dr. Tammy Oluyori unpacks this complex trauma response. She explains how people-pleasing, dissociation, fawning, and worthiness wounds can cause survivors to disconnect from their own pain and focus instead on the suffering of those who hurt them.You’ll learn:- Why feeling sorry for your abuser is a trauma response—not a character flaw- How fawning and dissociation protect us from overwhelming pain- What it looks like to build safety without needing others to be happy- The power of anger and rituals in trauma recovery- How to create healing practices that rewire your nervous systemConnect with Dr. Tammy OluyoriWebsite: https://drtammyoluyori.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.tammy.oluyoriEbook: Staying Rooted (https://drtammyoluyori.com/staying-rooted/)Subscribe for weekly expert insights on trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and reclaiming safety.

Episode Description

Why do survivors sometimes feel sympathy for their abuser—even after deep harm?


In this episode of Experts Explain Trauma, UK-based counselling psychologist Dr. Tammy Oluyori unpacks this complex trauma response. She explains how people-pleasing, dissociation, fawning, and worthiness wounds can cause survivors to disconnect from their own pain and focus instead on the suffering of those who hurt them.


You’ll learn:

- Why feeling sorry for your abuser is a trauma response—not a character flaw

- How fawning and dissociation protect us from overwhelming pain

- What it looks like to build safety without needing others to be happy

- The power of anger and rituals in trauma recovery

- How to create healing practices that rewire your nervous system


Connect with Dr. Tammy Oluyori

Website: https://drtammyoluyori.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.tammy.oluyori

Ebook: Staying Rooted (https://drtammyoluyori.com/staying-rooted/)


Subscribe for weekly expert insights on trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and reclaiming safety.

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