EPISODE · Jan 10, 2026 · 23 MIN
Experts Explain Trauma | Why Do I Feel Sorry for My Abuser?
from Healing and Growing, Hand in Hand · host Lisa Tickel
Why do survivors sometimes feel sympathy for their abuser—even after deep harm?In this episode of Experts Explain Trauma, UK-based counselling psychologist Dr. Tammy Oluyori unpacks this complex trauma response. She explains how people-pleasing, dissociation, fawning, and worthiness wounds can cause survivors to disconnect from their own pain and focus instead on the suffering of those who hurt them.You’ll learn:- Why feeling sorry for your abuser is a trauma response—not a character flaw- How fawning and dissociation protect us from overwhelming pain- What it looks like to build safety without needing others to be happy- The power of anger and rituals in trauma recovery- How to create healing practices that rewire your nervous systemConnect with Dr. Tammy OluyoriWebsite: https://drtammyoluyori.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.tammy.oluyoriEbook: Staying Rooted (https://drtammyoluyori.com/staying-rooted/)Subscribe for weekly expert insights on trauma recovery, nervous system healing, and reclaiming safety.
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Experts Explain Trauma | Why Do I Feel Sorry for My Abuser?
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