Facebook's Secret Study: Our Platform Makes You Depressed

Episode 11 of the Temporally Scripted podcast, hosted by Temporally Scripted, titled "Facebook's Secret Study: Our Platform Makes You Depressed" was published on November 30, 2025 and runs 54 minutes.

November 30, 2025 ·54m · Temporally Scripted

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Summary

Send us Fan Mail 30,000 people paid $6 for boxes of actual cow dung on Black Friday. Meanwhile, Facebook buried a study proving their platform causes depression. Jack Austin and Adam Garcia uncover Meta's hidden mental health research and count down the wildest Black Friday disasters. **This Week's Stories:** ✓ Facebook's buried "Project Mercury" study on mental health damage ✓ UK considers scrapping jury trials for crimes under 5 years ✓ Cornwall man's Mini Cooper swallowed by sinkhole ov...

Episode Description

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30,000 people paid $6 for boxes of actual cow dung on Black Friday. Meanwhile, Facebook buried a study proving their platform causes depression.

Jack Austin and Adam Garcia uncover Meta's hidden mental health research and count down the wildest Black Friday disasters.

**This Week's Stories:**

✓ Facebook's buried "Project Mercury" study on mental health damage
✓ UK considers scrapping jury trials for crimes under 5 years
✓ Cornwall man's Mini Cooper swallowed by sinkhole overnight
✓ Satoshi's Bitcoin fortune drops $41 billion
✓ Chinese man wins 33-hour "lying flat" competition
✓ Top 5 Black Friday disasters of all time

**Black Friday Hall of Fame:**
#5: REI closes all stores, pays staff to go outside
#4: Patagonia accidentally raises $10 million
#3: 30,000 buy literal bullsh*t for $6
#2: Woman pepper sprays 20 people for Xbox
#1: Walmart stampede tragedy

**Sources:**
- Facebook mental health study: Reuters
- UK jury trials proposal: The Guardian
- Cornwall Mini sinkhole: The Guardian
- Satoshi Bitcoin wealth: Decrypt
- China lying flat contest: NDTV

**Key quotes:**
"The Earth ate my Mini"
"That's a really crap Black Friday deal"
"I wonder if vintage bullsh*t is worth more than Bitcoin"

**Timestamps:**
00:00 Facebook's buried mental health study
00:11 UK scrapping jury trials
00:26 Satoshi loses $41 billion
00:42 Mini falls into Cornwall sinkhole
00:48 China's 33-hour lying competition
00:53 Black Friday Top 5 countdown

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