Welcome to the Mariners Church Life Group Leader podcast. This weekly conversation is designed to equip and resource youth to build a healthy life group community that studies God's word, practices spiritual rhythms, and changes the world together. What's up leaders? A little while ago Scott and I asked you which topics or questions would you like us to discuss on the podcast?
Well, we asked and you answered. Today we're covering some of the most pressing questions such as, what should I do when attendance starts to fade? At what point will I know it's time to take a step back from leadership? How do I rally my life group to serve?
We cover all these topics and more in this two part episode. Let's check it out. Hey Sam, so this is our first mail back where we answer the questions that our life group leaders send us. And these are questions that we like to do.
And I are both leaders have as well. So this is going to be super fun. So good. Yeah.
A little while ago we put out on the life group leader weekly like, hey, send us your questions. We want to hear from you. What kind of questions you have about groups that we could talk about on the podcast on the life group leader huddles. And we received these questions that we're going to talk about today.
And this is just our first one. So you can keep on sending those questions. You can email us, like groups or mailers, church.org. Or we're actually there.
Sometimes, you know, many of us are there. The next steps are on the weekend. You can come up to us and have questions and we'll add that in to the next episode of our mail back. Let's go.
Okay. Should we take into these questions? Let's do it. I love it.
Number one. I'm going to have it. I ask you the question and then you. We'll just we'll just go back and forth.
Okay. So we can't make it an attendance and commitment start to fade. This happens often. I've seen this in my group.
We've probably seen it in your group. What do we do when attendance and commitment starts to fade over time? Maybe they're over the high of rooted finishing. Have you witnessed this in your group?
What have you what have you said? Yes. This is such a great question. And as I shared, we share the same challenges and struggles just last week.
We had people texting at the last minute and saying that they could make it. And our host had made these meatball sandwiches for our entire group. And I could tell he was a little discouraged, but actually, I don't know, the last minute people actually decided to come. So in any case, it worked out, but we do have these instances where, you know, we're in an email thread and people are texting at the last minute.
I can't make it. And some of the more of the genetics excuses, you know, people are sick of the family and things like that. What we've done in our group is actually even before that all happens, we review our group agreement at the start of each session. And that sets the expectations and the commitments by reviewing it, the beginning of the session, reminding them also if actually continues, if the attendance becomes spotty, if people are texting at the last minute, we just have those conversations with them.
Hey, we just want to know what's going on. Is everything okay? And oftentimes, it's just that conversation that allows them to be like, oh, yeah, you know, I think we've been kind of spotty and we want to get back to being more regular. So what not to do is calling them out in public.
I know none of us will do that, but we do not want to just humiliate them in front of everyone. One of the other things that we can do is you can ask the people to text you personally, if you can't make it. Because what we've noticed is that when one person texts out, oh, we can't make it, it becomes a bit contagious to you. Oh, that person can't make it.
Just maybe we don't have to make it as well too. So those are some things that we've done. Is there some things that you guys have down your group? Literally everything you shared.
And Scott and I did not talk about these questions previously. Everything you shared is exactly what I was thinking. This issue brings up the importance of having a life group agreement. Because if you don't have a life group agreement at the beginning of the session and don't review it with your group and sign it, there's no way to hold people accountable throughout the session if we're not meeting, if we're not keeping things confidential, everything that's reviewed in a life group agreement.
If we don't up hold it, if we don't review it and then don't up hold it, there's no way to keep your group accountable, which is a part of being a leader. It's shepherding people, keeping them accountable. So just really double down on that life group agreement in the beginning of the session. I agree, don't call someone out in public, text them on the side and be like, hey, we've noticed that you've done this a couple of times where you text last minute.
And just tell the truth, hey, this really impacts the night in terms of who brings food. Because then we're going to have leftover food and we're just trying to minimize waste. And I agree, having someone text you on the side is better. So that way there's not momentum for people to start saying, I guess if they're not going to make it, we don't have to make it.
I'm not really feeling it because we'll always find excuses to not meet when we just want that time back. But it's so important. And then also just encouragement, like, hey, doing this privately too, like, hey, so and so when you're not there, the group is really impacted. We love your insights.
We think that you bring amazing things to the group. So we just encourage you guys, I know we're tired. I know that we all have busy lives and things going on, but this isn't another thing to our schedule. This is a time to rest.
This is a time to come together and feel refreshed rather than having it be another thing. And if they're not feeling refreshed and they feel like it's another thing, it might be a deeper issue. Yeah, yeah, that's really good. I love that.
Hey, so second question, I want to ask you this. And we can go back and forth. I love this. How do you rally people behind serving together as a group when everyone seems to have their own preference on what to do, or already serving on various teams at Mariners on their own?
So what's the difference between serve one another and change the world? Great question. I could tackle that one first. So, you know, for leaders that maybe want to refresh her, we, you know, our mission at Mariners is to inspire people of follow Jesus and fearlessly change the world.
And just like every coach for a sports team has the mission to win the game, they have a playbook, a strategy to accomplish that mission. And for us at Mariners, our strategy is the transformational loop. And there are four stops on this loop. And we believe that when people participate on it, they follow Jesus on a deeper level.
And two of those stops are serving one another and changing the world. Serving one another is where you serve your church on the weekends. So it could be serving in the kids building, serving on the parking lot as a greeter, as an usher. So that's different than the other stop on the loop, which is changing the world.
That's where you engage in local and global outreach to impact the local and global community. So examples of participating in a change the world stop is, you know, serving in our homeless shelter, serving, I serve on the prison ministry team. You could go on a faith adventure on a Mexico home build, faith adventure to Africa. So there's a difference between serving one another and changing the world.
And when we do group serves together, the focus that we try to have is this changing the world's local and global outreach group serve. So if you're serving in the parking lot, if you're serving as an usher, even as individuals, but some of you within the group are serving on those teams, first of all, thank you. You love that you're doing that. But there's a difference between that and then also serving as a group for changing the world.
And going back to your first question, how do I rally my group to serve together when everyone has different preferences? What comes to mind is sometimes when you, some decisions are, you know, you want to make it a democratic decision. But when you also, with some decisions, when you open it up for a group vote, sometimes you'll never make headway. I've experienced this.
When you get everyone's opinions, sometimes as the leader of the group, you kind of just have to make a decision like, hey, everyone's lives are busy. What we're going to do is we're going to substitute one of our weeks of meeting together. So that way we can do a group serve on a Saturday morning and, you know, plan it out well ahead of time so that way everyone can put it on their counters and say, hey, we're going to do thrift store sorting, which is a part of local outreach. We're going to go through the group portal.
We're going to sign up for this. Whoever can make it awesome. And if you've got like young kids in the group, maybe just the wives go do the serve event while the husbands watch the kids and maybe they can do a coffee meetup. Or just whoever you can get for that day, go do the group serve together.
That's what comes to mind. I don't know if you had any other thoughts. No, those are all really helpful and practical. I think for our group, our serve champion will bring like one to two to the table.
Sometimes it gets overwhelming when we have like 10, 12 different things. So she'll just bring one to two things and then we'll decide together on what and when works best for us. And then that's what we'll do. We actually don't, we even have our group on.
We meet on Tuesday nights and then we just recently served on a Saturday morning. So some groups will maybe replace it for their group meetings. Some groups will actually have the group meeting and serve that particular week as well. So yeah, I mean, I think some groups also ask what is the rhythm?
How often frequently should we serve? And our hope is that every group serves at least one's per session. So that's about three times a year. If you want to serve more, that's wonderful.
We believe when you're serving together, it strengthens your group. But we just want to encourage at least one's per session that's part of the rhythm of your group meetings. That's good. So, man, just some high level reminders.
Everyone elect a serve champion, invite someone to take that position that way. Someone that cares about outreach, it's heavy on their heart, invite them to be the serve champion to make the decision on this. The group serves, serve once a session. And just as a reminder, our sessions are from January to March, April to June.
Some groups take a flex schedule and take summer off and then come back August to November. And then, oh yeah, one last reminder, high level reminder, sign up through the group, serve portal. So you can do that, the serve champion or the life group leader can do that by logging on to their member profile, going to the group and then sign up for a group. And the way, if you need a how-to PDF, we have a handy PDF on the life group leader resource page on how to sign up for a group serve.
Yeah, and if you have any questions, you can reach out to our outreach director, Hannah, and where she's terrific. You can always reach out to our team as well too. So, we want to help you serve together. Yeah, let's dig into the next question.
Okay, this question, what are some tips for leading a group prayer experience and how often should we do it? Scott, what are your thoughts on that? Yeah, like you mentioned, Sam, our leader resource page has so many great resources. And how to do this.
And sometimes like, where's that life group leader resource page? The easiest way is there's that direct link from our weekly emails that we send out to you. But also when you go to our life group website page, you can actually click on leader resources and get to that as well too. But as far as like holding a prayer experience, I know we all did it en-rut it.
And sometimes it's hard to continue that rhythm. Some groups will integrate it into their group meeting. Others will have an outside type of prayer experience. Maybe it's going to worship night together here at Maris.
Where we have worship nights four times a year. You can go with your entire group to worship and pray together. And maybe it's just, does anything sometime going in the park or coming here on campus? And we have a beautiful campus here, right?
And just even to go around the lake and pray those scriptures on those rocks is such a gift and a blessing. And then to go out and eat afterwards to celebrate as well too. So those are some things that we would recommend as anything else. Man, everything you touched on totally agree with.
One other thing I would add is that, and this goes with so many other responsibilities as a life group leader, encourage someone to step up to be maybe the prayer champion. Remember leaders who don't need to carry every single responsibility and wait in your groups. Encourage other people, multiply, influence, influence, raise them up. Encourage them to lead in different ways.
So just like there's a search champion, encourage someone to be the prayer champion. To take down a prayer request, to schedule a prayer experience. And like you said, if it's incorporating that into a group night, I love that idea. Because everyone's already still together.
And yeah. Yeah, that's great. Next question that I have here from a leader is what to do as a leader when I'm feeling like I might need to take a step back for a season or maybe more permanently. How do I transition leadership of the group and can I just appoint somebody?
So what would you say to that? How do you speak into that? Yeah, okay, life group leaders, I'm going to be vulnerable for a moment. I am on staff and you know what I have felt burn out before as a life group leader.
And there was a season where we had to, well, I won't say that we asked someone to kind of step in to lead. They kind of realized it in us before we realized it. They said, hey, we know that you guys have a lot going on right now. Sam and Rachel, would you allow us to help you co-lead this group for a season?
And for a few months, they stepped in with scheduling who spoke. So we rotated who spoke or who facilitated discussion in our group. They selected the snack champion, the prayer person, we incorporated worship. And honestly, having their insights was so helpful because we grew and developed as a group in a way that I don't think we were while Rachel and I were leading.
So what should I do if I need to step back from leading because of life changes? First, have the vulnerability and the humility to realize I can't do this in this season. And that's okay. You all need to realize that's okay.
Sometimes we really need to leverage the people in our group and bring them up. But what I would encourage you to do is look into other people as possibly stepping up for a season and invite them and ask them to pray about, hey, in this next session, would you guys take the lead in scheduling out every single thing over our next 90 days? And then that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to step back from the official, in my opinion, leadership role of Mariners as the like group leaders, but you're inviting another person to kind of step up and lead operationally while you can still be the main contact with your life group coach. One thing, if you need to officially step back from leadership in terms of Mariners, what I would encourage you to do is tell another couple that they are going to be nominated for leadership, but that they need to connect with their life group coach and staff at Mariners to officially make them life group leaders.
This is if you need to officially step down because as a staff, we need to be aware of if there's an official changing of the guard. What do you think, Scott? Yeah, I know those are all really good. I guess stepping back for a moment, there are seasons in a leader's journey where they do need to take that break in height as for various reasons, whether it's having a baby or moving jobs or just or moving out of state or something too.
However, I think there's also times when you just need to have a conversation with someone maybe to coach or a pastor and talk about what is it, what's going on in your life. Does it mean it's just sharing ownership with people in your group where you're not taking all the responsibilities? Does it mean actually a temporary pause and letting some other people lead or maybe it's a permanent one? And just thinking through that is super helpful where it's not just like, okay, I'm done, I think because we really want to, and I know all the leaders are listening to this, want to see our groups transition well and flourish and continue.
And so just like Sam said, we want to come alongside you in helping to nominate and picking your nominated leader through the process and just setting up your entire group for success and previous transition. That's good.