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Falling off the Horse

An episode of the The Stubborn Tortoise podcast, hosted by Donna Pazdera, titled "Falling off the Horse" was published on January 2, 2023 and runs 22 minutes.

January 2, 2023 ·22m · The Stubborn Tortoise

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I dropped out at Snowdrop after 23 miles. It's embarrassing and humiliating, but my mind wasn't right. I didn't feel like being out on the course for over two days, even though I knew what I signed up for. I was surrounded by friends but I felt lonely. I tried getting out of my head, which worked for a while and then the DNF Fairy would return, encouraging me to quit. I learned that I am not cut out for these 100-milers. It's not my thing. I've been saying for years that I'm going to dial it back to the shorter distances, which are more doable, I think. I signed up for a 6-hour race in mid-February. Some have questioned whether I should take on such an event so soon. I don't know, I feel like I need to do something to try to get my mojo back.  I may return to cycling, but I need a bike. Some have suggested mountain biking, which is slightly terrifying, but it still is trail adjacent. That's the thing: the trails and the community are where I feel most at home. I can't bear the thought of losing that connection.

I dropped out at Snowdrop after 23 miles. It's embarrassing and humiliating, but my mind wasn't right. I didn't feel like being out on the course for over two days, even though I knew what I signed up for. I was surrounded by friends but I felt lonely. I tried getting out of my head, which worked for a while and then the DNF Fairy would return, encouraging me to quit.

I learned that I am not cut out for these 100-milers. It's not my thing. I've been saying for years that I'm going to dial it back to the shorter distances, which are more doable, I think.

I signed up for a 6-hour race in mid-February. Some have questioned whether I should take on such an event so soon. I don't know, I feel like I need to do something to try to get my mojo back. 

I may return to cycling, but I need a bike. Some have suggested mountain biking, which is slightly terrifying, but it still is trail adjacent.

That's the thing: the trails and the community are where I feel most at home. I can't bear the thought of losing that connection.

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