Family Meetings and the Power of Shared Decisions: Part 3 With Guest Alyson Schafer

Welcome to Episode 15 of On the Ground Parenting, and the third part of our special series with international best-selling author and Adlerian psychologist, Alyson Schafer! This week, hosts Sandy and Sam dive deep into one of the core concepts of Adlerian parenting: the Family Meeting. Alyson stresses that the family meeting is a necessary platform for family democracy. It's a structured way to move away from a traditional hierarchy to a mutually respectful sharing of power. While she is a passionate advocate, Alyson is quick to point out that family meetings are hard and often involve "nasty, gnarly behavior". However, the long-term benefits—teaching kids skills like listening, problem-solving, and taking turns —are immeasurable. The discussion highlights the huge value of these transferable skills. Alyson and Sandy share personal stories of how family meeting skills translated directly into running board meetings, managing coworkers , and even resolving roommate conflicts in university. They emphasize that issues like chores and rules are best solved through a framework of "we need a better solution" rather than "what's my discipline tactic". The conversation also expands into a discussion of chores , cautioning that most family chores are janitorial and can make children feel like indentured servants. Alyson advocates for giving children "real jobs" that leverage their talents, such as planning a family holiday or organizing a closet.