February 5, 2023 - To Be or Not To Be Married - Pastor Paul Vallee

Matthew 19, Marriage Series Is marriage becoming obsolete or is it one of the most critical foundations of human existence? Author Gary Thomas shares something of the domestic side of Abraham Lincoln in his book, Sacred Marriage. “...Mary Todd was hardly the type of woman with whom one could enjoy a quiet evening. She was, in fact a woman of intense impulses and tremendous temper, though this, ironically enough, was some of her attraction for the future president. [Later] when a salesman called on the White House and was treated to Mary’s fervid verbal assault, he marched right up to the Oval Office ... and proceeded to complain to President Lincoln about how the first lady had treated him. Lincoln listened calmly, then stood and gently said, ‘You can endure for fifteen minutes what I have endured for fifteen years.” Gary Thomas points out: He shone brightest when his personal life was darkest. The connection one can make between Lincoln’s marriage and his mission is not difficult. It is easy to see how a man who might quit on a difficult marriage would not have the character to hold together a crumbling nation.” Timothy Keller in his book, ‘The Meaning of Marriage,’ points out that historically marriage was deemed as both good and desirable. Studies continue to support this premise, but surveys of High School Students show a negative attitude toward marriage. He raises the question, “‘So where did this pessimism come from and why is it too out of touch with reality? Paradoxically, it may be that the pessimism comes from a new kind of unrealistic idealism about marriage, born of a significant shift in our culture’s understanding of the purpose of marriage. Legal scholar John Witte Jr. says that the earlier ‘ideal of marriage as a permanent contractual union designed for the sake of mutual love, procreation and protection is slowly giving way to a new reality of marriage as a ‘terminal sexual contract’ designed for the gratification of the individual parties. Witte goes on to say, that ‘[formerly] it was a solemn bond, designed to help each party subordinate individual impulses and interests in favor of the relationship... given by God not merely to Christians but to benefit the entirety of humanity. Marriage created character by bringing male and female into a binding partnership. In particular, lifelong marriage was seen as creating the only kind of social stability in which children could grow and thrive. Jesus’ response to the challenging question the Pharisee’s and later his own disciples queried, gives us clarity as it relates to God’s purpose and challenges pertaining to both marriage and the single life.