Feedback vs. Reassurance: Knowing What You Need

Growing up, part of my family was into racing, which meant I got direct, specific feedback on how I drove. There were so many trips where my grandma would talk through exactly how I used the accelerator, how much I braked into a corner, how I came out of the exit. It wasn't harsh, it was honest and precise: here's what you did, here's what it cost you, here's what to try instead. I didn't understand at the time how rare that kind of feedback is. Most people never get it, not because nobody notices, but because people don't always say anything.Feedback and reassurance are two different things, and most of the friction comes from asking for one while meaning the other. If you want reassurance, ask for that directly, it's a legitimate thing to need. If you want feedback, mean it, attach a timeline, and be ready to hear something that stings. This week's Tessera: Pick one thing you're building right now, hand it to someone who will tell you the truth, give them a date, and follow up on that date instead of waiting for them to circle back on their own.Read the companion article at https://tesseros.com/tessory-e15-knowing-what-you-needTimestamps:00:00 Feedback versus reassurance00:25 Direct feedback from racing as a kid02:18 Playtesting Perspective Flip and deadlines04:26 The difference between asking for feedback and asking for reassurance05:22 Nice versus kind07:05 The backyard landscaping story