Feel Somewhat

most of my diary is handwritten, but the copy/paste feature of computer writings is nice. How neurotic will we get about the other poems? hopefully not at all You know what I want I want you to be gentle. I want you to be the first I want you to make me feel vulnerable And safe At the same time I may be romanticizing it I might not even like it Might not be my cup of tea Oh, but I want you to try Do I Maybe some A little Gently, like I said Merciful Knowing when to sex with vigor And when to pause Forehead to forehead, I want to close my eyes from all the sweat I want I want to sit lightly in your lap, Scantily clad and in heels donned only for this occasion Grazing your skin Tracing your jawline with my breast Clutching the sides of your head Fingers ruffled hair Sharpness of breath I like that you said, can we get started and I shut you up with a kiss ferocious and passionate riding you a bit and I balk at writing the rest. I detest the idea that this is all for nothing It stops me from writing to the fullest, because, yes, I would like to describe it But I’ve become embarrassed Frozen with the cold idea that this is all futile in the end And yes, artistic expression is beautiful but I do feel somewhat a fool.