Feel stuck in small talk? Daniel Coyle shares the questions that create real connection. episode artwork

EPISODE · Mar 4, 2026 · 35 MIN

Feel stuck in small talk? Daniel Coyle shares the questions that create real connection.

from How I Work · host Amantha Imber

We all have stories worth telling. Yet most of us decide ours aren’t interesting enough, important enough, or universal enough to share.  In this episode, I’m joined by Daniel Coyle to explore why that instinct is usually wrong. Daniel is the bestselling author of The Talent Code, The Culture Code, and his latest book Flourish. Together, we unpack how Daniel finds and constructs stories that truly pull people in, including the ingredients that make a story compelling and the simple techniques anyone can use to tell better stories.  We also dive into the small, powerful questions that move conversations beyond surface-level small talk, how to build genuine local community through what Daniel calls “yellow doors”, what leaders can learn from a makeshift building at MIT that became an innovation hotspot, and why change so often feels slow before it suddenly blooms.  If you care about deeper connection, stronger culture, and asking better questions, this conversation will give you plenty to think about.   Daniel and I discuss:  The simple structure behind every compelling story  Why great stories begin with a question and how to construct tension and mystery  How to “sandpaper” your stories by removing everything that isn’t essential  The reflective practice Daniel uses to zoom out and see the shape of his life  The specific questions that deepen connection  How to build local community through small habits, daily encounters, and noticing “yellow doors”  Why annoyance is the price of community  The difference between complicated and complex systems, and why that matters for navigating change  What leaders can learn from Building 20 at MIT about agency and the “rule of the beautiful mess”  Why change often happens slowly, then in a surprising bloom  A simple 30-second “council” exercise to reconnect with meaning  Key quotes  “Annoyance is the price of community.”  “Life is not a productivity contest. It’s a moments thing.”  Connect with Daniel Coyle on X (Twitter), and LinkedIn and his website, and check out his latest book Flourish.    My latest book The Health Habit is out now. You can order a copy here: https://www.amantha.com/the-health-habit/  Connect with me on the socials: Linkedin (https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanthaimber)  Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/amanthai)  If you are looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at https://amantha-imber.ck.page/subscribe  Visit https://www.amantha.com/podcast for full show notes from all episodes.  Get in touch at [email protected]  Credits: Host: Amantha Imber Sound Engineer: The Podcast Butler See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

NOW PLAYING

Feel stuck in small talk? Daniel Coyle shares the questions that create real connection.

0:00 35:29

No transcript for this episode yet

We transcribe on demand. Request one and we'll notify you when it's ready — usually under 10 minutes.

That Hoarder: Overcome Compulsive Hoarding That Hoarder Hoarding disorder is stigmatised and people who hoard feel vast amounts of shame. This podcast began life as an audio diary, an anonymous outlet for somebody with this weird condition. That Hoarder speaks about her experiences living with compulsive hoarding, she interviews therapists, academics, researchers, children of hoarders, professional organisers and influencers, and she shares insight and tips for others with the problem. Listened to by people who hoard as well as those who love them and those who work with them, Overcome Compulsive Hoarding with That Hoarder aims to shatter the stigma, share the truth and speak openly and honestly to improve lives. Chewing the Fat with WorkForge WorkForge Bite-Sized Conversations for Building a Stronger Workforce Welcome to Chewing the Fat, a podcast delving deep into the world of food manufacturing. Dive into real conversations around critical topics like staffing, retention, onboarding, and career development in this essential industry. Subscribe now to gain insights from your peers, subject matter experts and more on the biggest issues facing food manufacturers today: -Hiring and retaining employees -Addressing the challenges of the Silver Tsunami -Improving time to productivity of new employees -Engaging employees from hire to retire And more... Tune in to Chewing the Fat, a WorkForge podcast, and join the conversation on how to build and sustain a resilient, high-performing workforce in food manufacturing. Solving for Change MOBIA Technology Innovations Solving for Change welcomes business and technology leaders to share stories of bold business transformation within complex organizations. In an era when technology and markets are changing around businesses, the key to staying competitive is to evolve in response to those changes.  MOBIA’s Mike Reeves and Marc LeBlanc investigate business transformation, deconstructing the challenges, ambitions, and market disruptions that drive companies to embark on transformation journeys, and exploring their unique approaches to achieving meaningful outcomes.  What sparks leaders to pursue business transformation? How do they overcome the challenges along the way? What are the keys to creating enduring change?  Through in-depth conversations with business and technology leaders, Mike and Marc answer these questions and explore how businesses evolve by pulling four key transformation levers: people, process, technology, and culture. The Lee Olsen Show Lee Olsen CJF I want to help you improve all areas of your life by 3 types of podcasts!👉Blood, Sweat & Blessings-Interviews of normal people that have achieved BIG things!👉Series!!! For Love of the Horse- Brad Jackman DVM & Lee Olsen CJF, how to help your horse!👉Business Tips- Proven Life Changing Business Strategies with Lee Olsen

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of How I Work?

This episode is 35 minutes long.

When was this How I Work episode published?

This episode was published on March 4, 2026.

What is this episode about?

We all have stories worth telling. Yet most of us decide ours aren’t interesting enough, important enough, or universal enough to share.  In this episode, I’m joined by Daniel Coyle to explore why that instinct is usually wrong. Daniel is the...

Is there a transcript available for this episode?

Yes, a full transcript is available for this episode. You can read the complete transcript on the episode page.

Can I download this How I Work episode?

Yes, you can download this episode by clicking the download button on the episode player, or subscribe to the podcast in your preferred podcast app for automatic downloads.
URL copied to clipboard!