Feeling or being seen as Fragile

As an Asian femme, it has been my prerogative to assert myself as confident, outspoken, and unafraid. The funny part is that alot of Asian Americans also feel the same - so we are our own subset of a cliche. But I don’t care! I will NOT be seen as a docile submissive girl.An adjacent fear of mine is to fall into the category of fragile and privileged liberal who doesn’t actually do anything for collective liberation. I hate the term “white fragility” for so many reasons, but mainly because “white fragility” is in its own way a fragile term. that “fragility” is just straight up racism. Also, the white woman author profiting off of an anti racist book is gross.Back to my fear, I don’t ever want to lean in so deep into the intellectualism and my own privilege that I lose touch of real world impact like how white people do all the time.So in this journey of healing and struggling towards liberation at the same time, I KNOW that I need to feel and allow grief, sadness, joy, anger to move through my body. But I don’t trust the process enough to believe that all of those feels can coexist with forward motion while surviving under capitalism. Writing that sentence out…I can see why I don’t. Capitalism doesn’t leave much room for us to be in our bodies - especially for those of the global majority.(Wow I really set out for this space to just follow my stream of consciousness and it’s happening. No idea where this is going.)Now, combine not wanting to come off as a submissive asian girl or/and a fragile liberal, letting myself feel sad and soft is really rough. As I’ve said before, I’m a Leo! My chiron in cancer is laughing. To be a fragile asian who doesn’t actually practice what they believe in is my worst nightmare.Time for my adult self to step in to talk to my inner child:I hear you! Being misunderstood and then judged is scary. Of course you don’t want that. But I see you accurately. I accept and love you in your times of bravery and also in your sadness. People will perceive you many different ways, and you’re right - sometimes it won’t be accurate. In your journey, I will be here to remind you that integrity is holding firm in our values whether people can see it or not. I will be here when you do hold firm and when you stumble. You get to be human.I’m going to start ending my posts with this question: What does Liberatory Imagination spark in me today?It feels like a softening of this little spot behind my sternum and the energy roots down past my spine - all the way down into the ground where it spreads out connecting to other people’s roots who have the same trajectory. Get full access to LIBERATORY IMAGINATION at tiffanywongart.substack.com/subscribe