Fifty Shades of Grey (w/ Kat Grier)

We made it no secret that this was not our favorite watch. We also tried as best we could to reserve judgement against the multitudinous fans of the Fifty Shades series. However, when a film serves up a male love interest that says the following lines, we quickly spew our safe word and run toward the nearest exit. There are some people who say that I don't have a heart at all.  So is he your boyfriend? I saw the way he was smiling at you. I don't do the girlfriend thing. Necrophilia's not my thing. I had Taylor pick you up some clothes. Yours were covered in vomit. I don't do romance. I'm not going to touch you until I have your written consent. It's called a flogger. Not full time, just Friday through to Sunday. You're biting your lip. Hold out your wrists. That's not really my thing. Try not to get hung up on sleeping arrangements. I was her submissive for six years. But your body tells me something different. Did you just roll your eyes at me? Your biting your lip, you know what that does to me. Turn around. When were you going to tell me about Georgia? You're mine. All mine. Understand? I would never do anything to you that you couldn't handle. Bend over. I'm going to hit you six times, and you're going to count with me. Please don't hate me. I'll send you a check. - Christian Grey