Fight, Flight, or Freeze: From FREAKING OUT to Keeping CALM in Tough Moments with Teens

Biggest Takeaways: The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response Your body is programmed to react to danger and stress, usually with a "fight, flight, or freeze" response. Your brain doesn't always recognize the difference between imminent danger and conflict with the people around you – which means when you're faced with a confrontation, your adrenaline spikes and your body kicks into that fight, flight, or freeze mode. We don't do our best thinking when we're in fight, flight, or freeze, because all our body's resources – like blood and oxygen – are redirected from the thinking, rational parts of the brain to the instinctual, protective parts. Learning how to calm yourself in moments of fight, flight, or freeze can go a long way in helping you stay connected with your teen – and anyone else who might trigger you.   When you're in the moment, you can help calm yourself by:             Breathing – making sure your exhales are longer than your inhales             Using your senses to bring you back into the moment             Taking a break or a time out   In a calm state, you can help speed up your ability to calm yourself by:             Doing something like yoga, tai chi, or meditation to practice your breathing             Identifying your triggers             Learning about what's developmentally appropriate in teens Teaching your teen these same strategies for when they are in fight, flight, or freeze mode.   Have grace with yourself! You're not going to always get it right – but the way you come back together when you've blown it is HUGE in creating a connected relationship with your teen.   Resources in this Episode How the Fight or Flight Response Works Understanding the Stress Response 6 Ways to Switch Off the Fight or Flight Response This is Your Body on Fear Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen AWARE: The Science and Practice of Presence by Daniel J. Siegel, MD The Ish Girl on Facebook The Ish Girl on Instagram For exclusive content, Sign Up for The Ish Girl's Weekly Email! FREE EBOOK: Be the Grownup They Need