Finding Identity After Codependency | Steve Rotermund

Steve Rotermund spent 13 years trying to save his wife from addiction while quietly falling apart himself. As a pastor, he preached freedom while hiding his own codependency and shame — until it cost him his church and his faith. This is his story: the collapse, the counselor who called out his codependency in one session, and the journey back to God and himself. Steve now leads Walk Right Community, a faith-based space for spouses and partners of people battling addiction. 00:00 Introduction to Steve Rotermund and Walk Right Community 00:58 Steve's childhood: abandonment, abuse, and growing up "not good enough" 02:13 Feeling called to ministry through Promise Keepers 02:58 Discovering his wife's addiction to pain medication 03:52 Moving to Columbus, Ohio and getting pulled back into church 05:00 Becoming a children's pastor while hiding his wife's relapse 06:23 Living a double life: ministry on the outside, chaos at home 09:07 Starting a new church to escape the shame 10:00 The breaking point in front of the congregation 11:13 Walking away from the church and from God 11:27 Two years of trying to fix everything alone 12:53 The counselor who called him "part of the problem" 14:03 Steve's definition of codependency and being "the savior" 16:36 Tracing the roots of his shame back to childhood 21:01 Learning he was still living like an "adopted son" in Christ 22:04 Seven years of untangling identity from codependency 24:12 How the devil keeps people stuck without transformation 27:46 What Steve would tell spouses carrying shame for someone else's addiction 30:39 The vision behind Walk Right Community 34:07 Learning it's not his job to fix people 36:03 The moment he had to forgive himself 39:15 Two truths Steve wishes someone had told him sooner 41:44 Why kids are watching the sober parent, not the addict 45:51 Steve's message of hope and freedom 47:00 Where to find Walk Right Community and Reclaiming Your Identity Learn more: partnersofaddicts.com Podcast: Reclaiming Your Identity 👍🔔 If this touched your heart, like, subscribe, and share. Comment below to let us know what hit home. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify — it helps us keep bringing meaningful conversations to light. For counseling and resources: samaritanswell.com | [email protected] ✅ Stay connected: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samaritanswell/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/samaritanswelldallaS LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/samaritan%E2%80%99s-well/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@samaritanswellcounseling?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc 🎁 Free Guide — Keys to Christian Emotional Health: https://samaritanswell.thinkific.com/products/digital_downloads/Christian-Emotional-Health-Guide 🗞️ Join Our Newsletter: https://samaritan-s-well-counseling.kit.com/0033ce428e