Finding Joy In The Midst Of Feeling Lost

"Trust the wait. Embrace the uncertainty. Enjoy the beauty of becoming. When nothing is certain, anything is possible."I feel lately like my heart is hurting in ways my tongue wouldn't dare to let me speak. I don't know what seems to be holding me back. I know how I feel but who other than myself and God can truly understand the internal  battles I am fighting without the use of so many  words. I am struggling, yet in so many ways I am also thriving.  I can expect to live in moments of joy and peace, despite the storm surrounding me. I step away from confusion while leaning into the unknown. Both lack clarity but at least when I walk somewhere new I have the opportunity to expand and grow. I am thankful for new relationships and I am terrified to let go of the old. Some days I unclench my fists to release, relieve, and realize.  So much good is happening every day and I want to be able to see more of it in the world without being naive of the battles being fought around me - in me. I ask questions beginning with Why and How, when I need to be asking What. So many good things happening... That is what I will focus on. I don't ignore my hurt and instead remain patient in my healing. I know I am headed the right direction and will continue to remain steadfast in my growth (spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally).  When I feel like I am being crushed by the weight of the world I fall to my knees let it all out. I scream, cry, and allowing trapped emotions/ thoughts to spew out to the man above. I know the Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in the spirit. If anything is certain, it is God keeping his hand on me; walking with me day in and out. Hopefully, the next episode I can have the freedom to speak my truth a little bit better, but for now let's be patient with Caira together. Celebrating where I have been and where I have yet to go. Thank you!