Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude

Mark leads with the definition of "fortitude" and "self fortitude" He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our "Flywheel of Life" "When you're healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you're ill, you have one" Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally his colleague who just lost a son to suicide Upon hearing the news, Jim thought he was seeing/hearing things…hoping it wasn't true He shares how he responded "forgive me for what I say"…He's in a better place…it's difficult to be a man today…" Jim has 3 friends who have lost sons Mental illness becomes a topic of discussion Mark agrees how difficult it is to respond to such a tragedy Apologizing for the cliche, Mark reminds us that life is about how you respond…not what happens to you Jim - this is where fortitude comes in…you gotta reach deep  Jim seems to feel he was helpful based on his friends response The guys discuss suicide. Is it selfish or unselfish?  Mark talks a bit about his mom's suicide. He tries to put it in perspective. How the emotional experience evolved from anger to relief to sadness to loss Jim chimes in about Mark's story and gets perspective from it Then Mark talks about settling his mom's estate. Prolonging the loss… Jim expounds on his comment - "It's difficult to be a male" Mark agrees that society has challenged the notion of masculinity Mark shares that he has 4 generations to sample experience from He condemns the phrase "toxic masculinity. He talks about human nature and his experience as a man. It's harder to be a man than it's ever been Jim asks Mark to share some suicide stats. Biggest killer of men under 45 60 men every minute of every day 365 days a year He quotes Gabor Mate and suffering He mentions the Harvard study of men Jim brings up depression as a root cause of suffering and suicide Jim shares his own experience with depression Mark says his experience with mental illness is mostly second hand. His experience in context. How his position on mental illness has evolved and how he thinks we need to bring it more out into the open Jim says we have also lost our sense of humor and that doesn't help. How being around people who can laugh at life is so important Mark and Jim laugh about Jim just turning 60. He says he's thinking about doing a roast and both guys have fun with that. We can laugh at life Mark - the funeral is not for the dead. It's for the people left behind…he attaches that to the young mans suicide. Celebrating their life and not living in sadness about the loss of Fortitude can get your through and past tragedy Mark applauds Jim's choice of words. "Please forgive me for what I'm about to say". How hard it is to express your sadness "he didn't want to be here. he's in a better place" Mark shares some perspective on how the living need to be considered. Also how sad people to present as sad Nobody Mark hopes people can take away something helpful