Finding the True Masculine

On the heels of facilitating a men’s intensive weekend in Ashland, Oregon, Ryan and Slade wanted to delve deeper into the benefits of this kind of concentrated, immersive men’s work. As adults, most men don’t realize the degree to which wounded younger parts of them (think the inner child) are impacting their ability to sustain intimate relationships. This inner boy whose needs were not properly met in childhood is getting triggered in both small and great ways every day, setting off a whole array of behaviors that negatively impact his relationships. These behaviors, like aggression, defensiveness, mansplaining, tuning out, ‘fixing their partners’—the list goes on and on—are all forms of protection for the boy underneath who is hurting, alone, and generally feeling like he is ‘not enough’. So as long as this boy is neglected and buried underneath other protective parts, the man will never step into his vulnerable masculine self and find the intimacy that he longs for. Men’s work is a safe and powerful container within which to unpack the past traumas held inside our inner boys, deconstruct them, and discover what we must heal in order to grow into our true masculinity. When you can open yourself up to this inner emotional work, you open the door to improving the dynamics at home. When your partner no longer has to take on the parenting role for your inner child, you can connect much more deeply. Listen to the full episode to learn more. SHOW NOTES: 00:00 – Ryan and Slade share about a men’s intensive program they recently facilitated, and the experiences they witnessed there 04:23 – The beauty and sacredness of the courage to be vulnerable 05:51 – Each man has a unique, core piece of work they must accomplish 07:22 – Creating new reference points: The impact of men’s work on our relationships 10:33 – Misconceptions around what it means to be “truly masculine” 13:20 – Using men’s work to deconstruct our masculine facades 16:20 – Good men’s work containers are compassionate and flexible, but strong 18:06 – The importance of seeing your inner work and your experiences reflected around you in society