Finding Your Tribe: Building Connections With Our Youth

Carron Montgomery is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Registered Play Therapist and Level II trainer in EMDR. She utilizes a client centered approach that includes the importance of collaborating with each client's team of professional and primary caregivers. Carron is passionate about serving youth. She believes that building connections starts with being present. Nine years ago, Carron and two other women started a private practice with the hope to build connections in their community. Their practice, Aster Counseling, specializes in treating anxiety, depression, OCD, trauma, and grief and loss. At the beginning of her career, she worked for two nonprofits; the first specializing in sexual abuse and the second working with low-income families and trauma. She currently treats ages four and up and often utilizes family therapy and parental support sessions. Carron is also a presenter for churches, schools and various organizations. She began presenting at the beginning of the pandemic, as she saw a huge need that was not being addressed. She trains local school counselors and recently began writing to provide additional resources to the community. Memorable Quotes: "Life doesn't count for much unless you're willing to do your small part to leave our children – all of our children – a better world. Even if it's difficult. Even if the work seems great. Even if we don't get very far in our lifetime." - Barack Obama "Be the calm." - Dr. Michelle Robin  "Hearts that beat to the tune of kindness can change the rhythm of the world."  - CJ Peterson "As children develop their brains, they mirror their parents' brains, in other words the parents' growth and development, or lack of those, impacts the child's brain. As parent's become more aware and emotionally healthy their children reap the rewards and move towards health as well, or they don't." - Daniel J. Siegel What You'll Learn: The most important way a parent can support and build connections with their child. This Episode Includes: The mental health crisis and loneliness among our youth. Kids are lonely even when they are with other people because the emotional current of the world is being felt. Co-regulators and the need to start teaching parents and adults how to calm themselves in order to be a presence for an upset child. To become a co-regulator you need to "catch the calm." Tone and rhythm are more important than the words themselves. Catch the calm. Bring the calm. Be the calm. Patients need to have a connection with their therapist and if they don't it's okay to find another one. People can develop healthier connections by learning how the brain works. Connections allow kids to develop "post traumatic wisdom," which is their ability to grow or to be stunted. Our thoughts equal who we are and our thoughts equal the data we collect. When we are alone and isolated the only data we are collecting is coming from social media and media outlets. The misconception society tells about independence and success is that you can do it all alone, that you don't need connections. Kids feel like they are not supposed to ask for help. It's important for adults to help them see that they CAN ask for help. Happiness is a feeling that can come and go, it's not a destination. Use the pandemic to challenge the way you go through life - look for ways to build more connections with others. In order to heal yourself, you have to heal your heart. Three Takeaways From Today's Episode: Use the pandemic to challenge yourself to think about the pace you're going. Ask yourself if it matches your core values or is it because it's what the world is telling you? Use the pandemic to develop post-traumatic wisdom. Teachers need to make themselves open and approachable, making a connection possible, and normalizing the idea of asking for help. Parents need to put their phone in another room for ten minutes and give their children undivided attention to show them what it's like to be in a real relationship and help them figure out who they are, not who you want them to be. Mentioned In The Episode: The Wheel of Support 21 Days to Build Your Tribe Program The Hoffman Process Advent Health Big Shifts Foundation Community America Credit Union Kindness Campaign What Happened To You? By Bruce Perry, M.D, Ph.D and Oprah Winfrey The Boy, the mole, the fox and the Horse by Charlie a Mackesy Superpowered: Transform Anxiety into Courage, Confidence, and Resilience by Renee Jain and Dr. Shefali Tasbery. "Badass Woman" song by Meghan Traino "I Look to You" song by Whitney Houston Connect: https://www.astercounseling.org/ LinkedIn Facebook Upcoming book: "The Invisible Riptide: A Kid's Journey to Navigating the Emotional Current of the World," by Carron Montgomery, MSCP, LPC, RPT and illustrated by David Gentile. COMING SOON!