First Time for Everything | This Past Weekend #205 episode artwork

EPISODE · Jun 10, 2019 · 1H 30M

First Time for Everything | This Past Weekend #205

from This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von · host Theo Von

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Theo takes voicemails about listeners first crotch touches, then is joined by Nick for the news, and closes the show with a voicemail about feeling guilty for spending instead of saving. Check out Producer Nick’s podcast: Another Bachelor Podcast http://bit.ly/TPW_AnotherBachelorPodcast Covering Bachelor, Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise This episode brought to you by… Blue Chew Visit https://bluechew.com and enter promo code THEO to receive your first order free plus only $5 shipping Chris Distefano Listen wherever podcasts are available Hair Club Visit https://HairClub.com/THEO for a free hair analysis and free hair care kit Omaha Steaks Visit https://OmahaSteaks.com and type PAST into the search bar to receive $235 worth of meat for only $59.99 Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Music “Every Night” by Jameson Flood https://soundcloud.com/jameson-flood Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Jones Aaron Rasche Aaron Wayne Anselmi Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alexa harvey Andrea Gagliani Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Anthony Holcombe Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brad Moody Brandon Hoffman Brandon Kirkman Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Charles Herbst Christian Coyne Christina Peters Christopher Stath Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Daniel Chase Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook Danny Gill David Christopher David Smith Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Donald blackwell Doug C Drew Munoz Dusty Baker Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia J.P. Jacob Rice Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Price Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Johnson Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaitlin Mak Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lauren Williams Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Garland Mandy Picke'l Marisa Bruno Matt Kaman Meaghan Lewis Meghan LaCasse Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Butcher Nick Roma Nick Rosing Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Passenger Shaming PF24 Gang Gang Qie Jenkins Rachel Warburton Randal Ranger Rick Robert Mitchell Robyn Tatu Rohail Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sarah Anderson Scoot B. Scott Wilson Sean Scott Season Vaughan Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tommy Frederick Travis Simpson Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Victor Montano Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Theo takes voicemails about listeners first crotch touches, then is joined by Nick for the news, and closes the show with a voicemail about feeling guilty for spending instead of saving. Check out Producer Nick’s podcast: Another Bachelor Podcast http://bit.ly/TPW_AnotherBachelorPodcast Covering Bachelor, Bachelorette, and Bachelor in Paradise This episode brought to you by… Blue Chew Visit https://bluechew.com and enter promo code THEO to receive your first order free plus only $5 shipping Chris Distefano Listen wherever podcasts are available Hair Club Visit https://HairClub.com/THEO for a free hair analysis and free hair care kit Omaha Steaks Visit https://OmahaSteaks.com and type PAST into the search bar to receive $235 worth of meat for only $59.99 Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503 Music “Every Night” by Jameson Flood https://soundcloud.com/jameson-flood Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Jones Aaron Rasche Aaron Wayne Anselmi Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alexa harvey Andrea Gagliani Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Anthony Holcombe Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brad Moody Brandon Hoffman Brandon Kirkman Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Charles Herbst Christian Coyne Christina Peters Christopher Stath Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Daniel Chase Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook Danny Gill David Christopher David Smith Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Donald blackwell Doug C Drew Munoz Dusty Baker Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia J.P. Jacob Rice Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Price Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Johnson Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaitlin Mak Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lauren Williams Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Garland Mandy Picke'l Marisa Bruno Matt Kaman Meaghan Lewis Meghan LaCasse Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Butcher Nick Roma Nick Rosing Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Passenger Shaming PF24 Gang Gang Qie Jenkins Rachel Warburton Randal Ranger Rick Robert Mitchell Robyn Tatu Rohail Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sarah Anderson Scoot B. Scott Wilson Sean Scott Season Vaughan Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tommy Frederick Travis Simpson Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Victor Montano Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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First Time for Everything | This Past Weekend #205

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TRANSCRIPT · AUTO-GENERATED

Man, I'm trying to watch this game of thrones and um and man these guys They just I mean they cannot get along really or the women or the women so I just don't even know what to think anymore. I mean, it's just swords and pedophilia And they don't even and I went about all the candles that are lit you even notice that every set everybody got 2000 They got nine candles everywhere. Somebody's getting murdered and they got three candles behind them. Who's putting them out?

You never see anybody, you know doing like a little bit of fire safety or something protocol whatever I gotta I gotta Quit worrying about some of this stuff Every night I lie awake. I feel like a fake I put on a show That is Jameson flood like the water if you ever had too much to drink and And that's similar to a flood, but it's different good to be here um with you guys Thank you for joining me and thank you for allowing me to be here with you. What's up? I'm here.

You're here Sometimes I feel like this like I'm just leaving you a voicemail and it's just like a really long one Like I'm just that chatty VM dropper It is it is right now. It is Monday June 10 the 10 of June So if you see somebody tomorrow and they say well what date is it you say well is the 10 of June? It's the 10 of June and we are coming up. I believe only summer solstice and That's when summer really really starts to heat things up and and the planets like all agree that it's summer They kind of line up and the Sun and the moon and it's uh because there's always a couple, you know They always got a planet or two, you know Pluto You know a couple of Jupiter's moons or whatever.

They're always like, oh, you know, it's not summer That's not really summer. It's you know, we're doing is Couple holdouts, but when that solstice lines up when that summer solstice June 22nd That's the equinox when it lines up. That's when it's summer says that's the grilling That's the time that real summer really will fucking grill you meat. That's when that fire comes straight out of the Sun and just It'll get you it will get you if you're trying to get rid of a spouse or something that is a good time to uh To you know to leave them in the yard So but let's don't think about that Gonna let you know that today's episode is brought to you by blue chew and a lot of people think blue chew when I was young It was a chew into back.

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That's BLUECHEW.com and promo code THEO just pay five dollars for the shipping Also gonna let you know Comedy Central has your new favorite podcast and it's called stand up with Chris de Stefano Every week Chris and his producer will be listening to and discussing some of the greatest stand-up of all time from classic bits out of Comedy Central's library To jokes from today's hottest up-and-coming comedians They'll unpack their favorite bits discuss the comedy scene call up other comedians and get into everything comedy And hey since they record at Comedy Central's headquarters in New York City, you never know who might drop in Imagine listening to Hannibal Burris do some stand-up and then listen to him show up in studio Or some Maria Bamford some Mitch Hedberg favorites from today and the past. It's basically two podcasts for the price of one Completely free. There's nothing else like it on the air subscribe and listen to new episodes of stand-up with Chris de Stefano Every Thursday wherever you listen to your podcast. Oh What's going on?

I uh, I'm a dad. Oh, I had jet lag. I had jet lag and it look I didn't think jet lag was that real and the I'll be in the middle of a mouth full of potatoes You know where potats and I shut down like somebody press the power button on me while I was potatting and I will just Shut down jet lag will bring a man. I mean it'll make your ankles roll right out of your feet It'll just it's a real thing and I think it's something to start to find a way to use on our enemies a little bit of jet lag But what do I know we got a you know, I'm happy to be here with you.

What's going on with me? What's going on man? Honestly dude, I hurt my freaking back. I was putting a shirt on And it wasn't even a strong shirt or a thick shirt.

I was putting on a mediocre You know a mediocre shirt and I came out my head came out the neck hole and it came out like at an angle and I hurt my back And my neck so I've been just kind of real limited edition all week. I've been having to lay ice Lay on ice and my bed. I'll get me a couple trays of ice and I get my mom I got a beach towel and a beach towel Somebody really that's marketing because a towel you could do anything with a towel towel for this towel for that You get you got out the shower towel up. You know, you spilled some wine get that towel You know, you are you're in the desert towel up put a towel around your scalp You know they got it all then somebody said oh, we need a specific towel for the beach We need a beach towel and that's marketing right there.

It's still a towel There's nothing different about it Somebody put the word beach in front of it and everybody's fucking spending an extra 1399 And I had that beach towel I put it on my bed I put a bunch of ice cubes up with three trays of cubes on it and then I'll lay on that ice And be that little ice daddy that ice baby Man, it's cold at first, but then the pain goes away and you can't feel anything And damn you get so cold sometimes and then it disappears and then you don't even know who you are man And I even have to put my legs up in the air looks like I'm a damn newborn Like I'm a newborn. I'm trying to get my you know, my bum powdered by mom I'm trying to get my bum powdered by mom And uh, and so I do that and um, I just been icing and heating my back all week So it's been just out of commissions crazy man. Everything's going good in the bam son get on your knees boy And the pain too, I don't you know, I don't have anything to subside the pain So I'm just praying this should go the way and they don't have a chapter in the bible really about you know pain remedy The bible doesn't have a couple hundred milligrams of ibuprofen hidden in it So I was going through all of these rama don everything. I'm celebrating anything this week that will help alleviate the pain I'm asking all the gods for help Uh, we had a lot of calls that came in about you know I like to think about when I was young and just the joy And then when you were young man and you you know, you tried something new for the first time Maybe you saw you know, you saw a uh, remember the first time you saw a peach You're like damn, that's an orange.

That's kind of like a Is that like a senior citizen orange or something? Is that like an orange that may be been in a halfway house? Or maybe a orange that you know, it's kind of like one of those hairless cats, but like it's like a hair It's like a like it's like a hairless cat of the orange family and somebody's like, no, motherfucker. That's a peach man That's a peach boy So, you know, you get I love being young everything was a new experience And we get older we get used to the experiences and they start to run together and they just Things to lose their novelty And that's what I'm you know, and I try not to get too caught up in the fact of things losing their novelty Um, so I'm trying to just I'm trying to stay in the novelty of life because there is a lot of beautiful stuff going on and uh And one of the novelties that we all go through in time Is when somebody touched our you know, we or you know Up in the you know, if a lady somebody touched you down in that trim trim, you know in the down in the vagertons bro down in them you know down in them, uh down in the you know In that frickin little that you know down in that sugar wallet Down in the old old, you know down in the old oyster old the old oyster Coing purse you feel me?

Well, everybody has a story about that in a different moment in time and we had a beautiful call about a year ago lady first time a man ever touched her vagina was in a abandoned refrigerator box Out in the garage and she had a You know, she had she had a beautiful story about that and and we all have a special first time and a lot of you guys know first time somebody you know a young lady over there off of uh Highway 22 kind of masturbated me out into the water Over there off the you know in one of the tributaries of the chafungta river This lady jayoed me out there into the water and that you can see the fish come up and get Get the seed that had come out of my body and that was nature going full circle You know, I mean that is just damn nature like somebody just put a whole bunch of nature in a blender and just made a dam Just a smoothie just a soul smoothie and just poured that bitch right down into your frickin chakras And uh and everybody has that moment so a lot of you guys hit the hotline 985 664 9503 And thank you for for hitting the hotline and uh and you just called in and shared some of your moments I want to hear some of those i haven't heard any of them and i'm grateful for sharing pieces of your life Because we all remember that time That first time because look when you're young you've been touching your own crotch You know, I remember we had a guy in our area this boy uh This kid his name was Tyson right they called him fat Tyson and nobody his dad called him that so And you know, he would do you know everybody would do he would everybody when you got to know your body when you find your body had different Erogenous zones And your origin is own is something you massage yourself or touching nipples dude. Remember when your nipples got hard remember that I thought I know what was going on. I thought I got like had fallen down. I got a acorn stuck like in my tit On each one double corn, you know So yeah, just different times, but I remember fat Tyson told us one time that he had uh He had hidden like a small one of those toothbrushes you get into his uh And it was honest and his you know, onus or whatever, you know, into that that be hole boy And this I know this is getting kind of dirty, but I'm just I'm just letting you know that we all have experiences with our body There's nothing wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with if you're young Putting something in your buttocks There's nothing crazy about that. I mean when you first are born you learn about your mouth That's a natural hole, you know, so you put snacks in there put a sugar treat in your mouth put a little cornbread You know put a broccoli or something in your mouth and that's natural Then you start learning about other, you know, you sneak in a mom's room one day and you see dad in there doing uh The ear cleaner q tipping and so you get one and you do it at and it's crazy You can't even imagine you're like if it's so close to my brain This is scary and you pull it out. It's a little bit of brown in there. You're like jesus My brain has brown wax in it.

I'm going to hell, you know, you get caught up And then another, you know, then you know, you're a gene or whatever you get used to a new thing your belly button I'm one of my favorite things I would lay on the floor at night and put a couple chocolate um I would put a couple chocolate uh chocolate chips Because toll house used to have these sack of chocolate chips when mom was gonna make chocolate chip cookies She got a bag of chocolate chips and she would have to hide them boy Because if I found that sack of chocos to the dome uh And so I take a couple I usually take three and I put them in my belly button and lay on my back About a television watching in the heat of the night, which was a beautiful television show and And uh, and they would get heated up by my body heat And that's when that went and then my belly button would fill with a little bit of chocolate sauce or chocolate You know kind of a moose. I guess almost a nice fancy, you know, a moose They call it And then I would dip my finger in there on the commercial break and give me a little hit of chocolate Put that thing in my mouth and just really just eating chocolate right out of my own My own belly button, which is unique because you you know years earlier. I've been inside of my mother She had fed me through that tube And here I am filling that whole you know that that same space for my mother and once nourished me here I am melting chocolate chips toll house morsels And just morsel myself up just dipping my finger into that melted morsel And just bringing it straight up into my face, you know feeding myself now years later And that's just full circle. It's the same as it's not the same as very someone who masturbating into a stream and watching the fish come And then maybe two years later you're at a restaurant on down the street and you have a little bit of uh, you know Some tilapi or some barramundi or you have a cut of uh of uh Whitefish or butterfish first of all where where are they getting new fish from you notice this on menus?

Every like maybe two years they put a new it's like oh they got the mahi mahi. Where's that been? Dude go read Moby Dixie. How many mahi mahis they got in that sucker?

Zilchi zilchi, bro Go you know now they got the barramundi. I'm somewhere the other day and the guys like oh we got we got line caught barramundi Dude, I don't give up funk how you convinced that guy, you know how you convinced that thing to swim over here I don't care if you poured nicotine in the water for a couple years and slowly got him addicted I don't you know what how what oh we got you know We got uh We got um, you know, we got successfully convinced salmon Like you just convinced them to jump into the net. It's just like what the fuck are we doing dude and barramundi I never heard of that Give me a real fish people have heard of catfish Uh Swedish fish that's a candy but everybody's heard of it. Um trout um tuna fish I'm just sick of some of this fake fish shit every oh we got butter fish.

We got white fish. What the what are you talking about? Where where'd you get it? You got an email from the lord and they said ah, they we're leasing you know two new types of fish like it's a new shoe We got limited edition over here on these swimmers get out of here anyway.

I'm going nuts man. I'm actually starving as well right now um Anyway, we got some crop stories. Let's get into a couple of those and thank you guys for uh for calling um also right before we get So I want to say this too if you hit on You know we have a couple shows coming up Vancouver This week vancouver seattle portland boysy And we always do things for single moms out there and uh we have some tickets that we're going to give away for each of those cities Two single dads it's father's day coming up. So it would be great.

Uh if you guys would email producer P. R. O. D.

U. C. E. R at the oven t h e o v o n.

We want to do something special for some single fathers out there We've got uh and just email and nominate a single father And this has to be a father of decent age. I don't don't bring me some 79 year old 200 year old guy Who he you know he has to drink through a sack or whatever he's got a collage I don't want that guy. I want to uh dad who's got a young child who has a child who's in school Or you know what I'm saying? I want a single dad Or and I know that's just my definition of it, but that's what I would like So we want to do something special for those men out there Uh who because it's tough for those guys too So you want to do special for some special for some single dads and that's what we're going to do And we want to thank our patreon supporters for helping us with that Set aside some tickets uh so just email theoven at producer.com if you recommend someone in those cities And put the information and we will uh we're gonna we're gonna give out some uh some sets of tickets for those different cities Boise portland seattle and van kuver and thank you guys so much for your support.

Let's take this call right here Here we go. Hi feel. This is Sarah from Chicago. Hey, Sarah from chicago nice to see you have it here And chicago an amazing city in the u.s You know a good city where I think you get a little bit of everything Uh, and I met some beautiful ladies over here in chicago and over the years I saved him on my phone I'll be like oh chicago jannet you know chicago uh Ray you know ray lean or uh Ray nail and then over the years but then you come back to town over the years and you then you hit him up And you're like I don't even remember now this lady You know she's 45 or 47 She's got a couple kids or husbands texting you back like who to fight get what's going on So you got to be careful who you Who's number you save in that great city?

Let's hear more this morning on my way to work I was laughing at the hotline question because my first sectional experience of the 15 year old was with some with some crotch rubbing and praise god babe praise god And uh, let's hear you just say that part again about the crotch rubbing Because it's just make sure everybody heard it. I can't tell some with some crotch rubbing and My boyfriend and I who is now my husband were in the back of my dad's car on our way home from great america Oh, yeah, and so it begins immediately. I'm going back to that place in my heart in my right now. I want to go put on like a um I want to put on a big johnson shirt.

They had this special series of shirts Uh, I want to go put you know I want to put on some old music some boys to men or some um Some kind of shit and really make it pop. So you and your oh, yeah, you're in the back of a parent's car Okay, let's go with my dad's car on our way home from great america great america is in gurney And he was all the way in Chicago. It was a good two-hour drive. Oh, yeah, turn up the music dad And remember I just kind of started touching a crotch.

Oh, I know why because the lord wants you to that's why I mean I said look if you put my hand somewhere and you put a crotch somewhere else and you turn off the lights When you turn that light back on a sport of god boy my hand will be up there So let's hear more Oh, yeah, and that's beautiful and you know that's love when you get erect and somebody asks you if you're doing okay I mean that's american love right there Usually you get erect and people woman might laugh she might you know text get a shot of it a snap show her friend You know ronnie's got a little bit But it's beautiful when a woman, you know, you get erect you've been erect for a couple hours a girl knocks on the door. Hey everything all right Let's hear more Gang gang a two-hour wiener your man showed out within that's beautiful And if you wanted to enter something in a national 4-H competition They're judging rabbits and they're judging you know little chickadees and stuff You gotta have two of the chickadees and his hair's got to be slicked back and they got to be healthy and their sugar levels good But you show me a man who can have an erection, you know a two-hour wiener on a riding back seat of a car While his while the dad is picking the music That's a show animal to me. Thank you for that call and thank you for that story Just taking me back in time I remember hearing the first time I've ever even heard about people having sex Because we used to do some peeping time and when I grew up peeping time and was I mean I was cable And we used to do some good peeping time and well I could see somebody eat and I watch somebody eat or do sex or whatever And all of it was kind of the same to me at all just I was so curious very much Like the american beauty remember that movie with kevin spacey and the other boy been aflic or whatever But I love that uh, I loved watching people live their lives Through pain glass Who doesn't and so what i'm saying now is this uh, I don't even know what i'm saying I don't even know what i'm talking about but uh, but thank you for that story. Thank you for taking me back I remember the first time I was young hearing about sex and hearing that people that were having it and there was a boy And he was like a year older than us or two years and everybody said that he and this girl had sex On some lawn chairs.

I'll buy a pool over summer And suddenly everybody's like fuck man people are scared people are writing i'm having sex on pieces of paper and just throwing just you know Depending on the shirt I was like what are you talking about? People don't even know like everybody was just a consumed people are buying lawn chairs and laying them just put them in their yard Other people are like sacrilegious. They're buying lawn chairs and putting gas on them and burning them Young racial slurs and stuff at them. It's just it got wild but But yeah, once that fire starts once you hear somebody I mean I remember my buddy My buddy You know, I remember the big thing was if you could touch a woman's crotch while y'all were in the back of the car when the mom was taking home that was And still let me say this that is still a golden move I don't care if you're 15 or if you are 60 If your wife or your significant other's mother is driving y'all somewhere and you in the back with your lady And you get to doing some touching or you know or the or your lady jerks you off while your dad is driving y'all somewhere That's still awesome man.

That is still It's kind of like it's the it's the Mount Kilimanjaro of sexuality. It's just that rare It's just that thing. It's something It's like so defiance of your parents and at the same time So like adventurous because with all your dad has to do is turn back and look and you are you're done Dude, why? One of my friends who will name Nate who will remain nameless.

He was with his family driving somewhere on a vacation Okay, he puts the map up like this and masturbated behind the map I mean If you think your parents don't know that you're masturbating behind a map in a small vehicle, this wasn't an SUV This is a car SUV, maybe jerking off behind a Rand McNally behind a small map in A car in a sedan Dirt that's their way. That's their cam Cam and boy you got to tighten up on that on that level. All right. Let's take another story that came in here But there are man just some beautiful stories Beautiful stories and we just wonder what what a phenomenal time this is in people's lives Well, PL Kyle, thanks a lot Carolina man calling him for the SPC the SPC challenge Yes, sir, and that's first time crotch touch and that's that f first time ft CT crotch touch.

Thank you for calling in Kyle from north tech a lack of beautiful beautiful place over there And I know Duke was losing in those uh in those to Vanderbilt in those Men's college world series, but kudos to them For developing a great program over there. I know you in season in the college world series as well right now You want to call it that first time crotch story first on my grab crotch My parents and everyone else was going to church So and you know when you put the lord next to the loins It's a real face off Oh Makes it more exciting than it When everybody was in church we would sneak away and go upstairs and we would swap fit with the girls, you know I was a middle school and I had my girlfriend at the time and I had seen My step sister and her boyfriend did some I never seen you got in touch or crotch and he told me that's what you got to do Oh, that's what you got to do boy Sorry, this is a very interesting to me to hear this research. What's here more? Never older than me.

So I went back to Sunday school and all the excited, you know Oh, yeah, suddenly it's Saturday night even though it's Sunday school suddenly it is saturday night my friend Yes, sir. Let's hear more. I learned this new trick and we were making out and I touched your crotch So we get to school now monday. I'm excited.

You know, oh, yeah, you're damn Wayne Gretzky brother I mean you're the damn Wayne Gretzky Of young leg. Let's hear it. And she has sent me a note saying we were moving too fast And she broke up with me and I didn't grab another crush for a few years because I was kind of like a ptfd from it You know, I thought every time I tried to make a move on anybody. They were gonna break up with me.

Wow Man while appreciate sharing that man. I couldn't understand that song. Yeah, you know, look that's very look something happens in an alarms You and then you set off let's hear more but that's my first cross Gang gang. I love y'all Gang gang brother.

Thank you for sharing your story with everybody and I mean that you know It's brave to put a little bit of yourself out there whether it's a piece of your pastor a piece of your present and I and I I plot all of all the colors that do You know, I remember now, you know, I had a rectile dysfunction for probably about 11 years and I still really You know, I probably still at all times I got a little bit of gas station You know some of those GS WP's those gas station Wiener pills in my system at all times even really get out of bed in the morning. I need two milligrams of summer in thrumming and and uh And it's uh, yeah, fuck sorry for us. I'm not Jesus Man, yeah, well, so you I remember getting non-irret And a lady and then I tried to tell her like I was doing magic and I was like ta-da and my dick still wasn't doing erection my wiener was still being salt being you know, real natural and She was disappointed and then I couldn't get over that for years Because really I was just nervous. I should have just said hey, I'm just uncomfortable right now And it probably would have been cool But at the time I was just young and I was nervous and there was broken glass And look I can't get erect near broken glass.

Okay. Yeah, my bad, right? But I can't get erect near broken glass and I still can't or if there's a car accident or something do you knife I I ain't I ain't getting erect near a car accident. Okay.

Yeah, my bad ladies But yeah, those things really can give you a little bit of travesty But thank you for sharing man. That's a middle school's a little young to be learning that trick You know first time I saw some breasts. I remember I was uh, well They used to have somebody had chiseled some tits into a nice Birch that uh had been hit by lightning out near us in the woods And people used to go masturbate to that and you know, and that's just the lord working, but this was Uh, I was at summer camp and they had this girl on the shed red hair I'd never seen red hair. I've never seen it.

I'd seen you know different colors of hair brown blonde uh black white But I never seen red hair in this girl had it man. She just looked so exotic to me And uh, I saw him another camp counselor looking at her breast one time this dude joey. I think his name was or you know, joey Was actually a little more this dude joey. What was his name?

He was my camp counselor. John. He had a cousin a nephew named jones I got for some reason I know them and my brain my brain is just skipping on their name Um, but they was out. I think he grew up out of lee road anyway, but uh, they Joey I think was looking at the lady's breast the camp counselor and I was a camper a camper And so I was like, oh, what's in there?

You know when she kept looking in her shirt and and they said oh titties are and so I wanted to look in right? So I looked in and I saw him dude and I'd never seen titties dude except for my mom's, you know And I'd only sneakily seen them And see them sometimes when I didn't want to when my mom didn't think that we knew what titties weren't she would almost and sometimes she would just Get out the bathroom. We would see them but What happened was? Oh, I saw him and then I lied I said I didn't see him And they were like what I was like, yeah, I didn't see him, you know So then they let me look again and I looked again and they were again still just milling around this on this On this camp counselor's chest, you know titties And then I said oh I remember I said I only saw one And that time they fucking said I was that was like a sicko And so then I kind of felt like something's wrong with me after that a little bit And I was afraid to see both breasts at once on a woman even though I lied about it I was still Like I'll tell a lie about something and then also suffer the repercussions of my lie Isn't that crazy?

I'll be like oh, yeah, I only saw one tittie when I saw both They'll call me a sicko Then I feel bad about lying And then I'll also think for years to come when I see tits that if I look at both of them at the same time Something bad's gonna happen to me So Jesus Christ, let's hear another call that came in but sunday school slipping off from the lord To do the devils Handy work as always the hotline is 95 664 9503 here we go This is the first cross experience call Thank you for the call brother oemmer. This is Sean Oem from Boulder City, Nevada Sean O from Boulder City, Nevada and I've never been over there, but um You know it sounds beautiful rolls right off your tongue Boulder City Um, I was about 13 between seventh and eighth grade. Oh, it's prime touching area dude That's prime time to touch or be touched You lay in a bed at night. You can just hear other kids touching each other's crotches And it just burns you up.

Let's hear more brother oemmer It was in Springfield, Missouri Oh, yeah That spring feel go. I'm at this chick at the swimming pool We go back to her place, you know Oh, yeah, crotch always feels fresher when it's right out of the city pool if you ever noticed that Or the summertime pool the front or out of a bathing suit crotch always feels fresher when it's fresh like that I'll quit interrupting you homeward. We go back to her place, you know and to this point I had only really seen late 70s early 80s pornography Oh, yeah, sorry. That's all y'all wouldn't do that anymore.

I won't let's hear the rest of your story. Sorry friend 80s pornography. So, you know, a lot of bush back in those days And so um for some reason I thought the little bit JJ was like an inch or two below the belly button I got the hairline of the crotch and so uh So you thought a woman was like one of those uh those uh little gnomes those little bell with a jewel in her belly Dang man. That's that's very interesting.

I mean you would be a very unique Surgeon homeward I was you know searching around with the old index and in the fingers and man, I was confused I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know I fucked around and got her math the diet or something You know, I was young but I finally the girl gave me a little assistance to help you go a little farther down south And got my fpe Nobody really talked to her again, but uh, yeah, that was uh my first cross experience. Uh, shut out the shrinkable deserting of public swimming pools Rip billy can foretell where to keep your name in the street gang gang. Thank you for bringing him up, man I appreciate that dude.

Yeah, I was looking at some uh somebody sent me some pictures of him the other day actually And I should put some of those on the onto the uh onto the this past weekend And then we had a shirt designed for him as well and so maybe we'll put that out but um, yeah, but remember that dude I remember something like that touching thinking I was you know, I didn't know what that was just kept pushing on some girls midsection That's crazy, right just put just just massaging some girls fupa or something who knows I mean it was wow when you were young out of buddy and he used to practice touching girls on his own um, behold And at first i'm like, that's crazy, but then i'm like, I can't fault this guy at least this guy has a little bit of lay of the land I'm out here rote, you know You don't know what's going on Then I remember thinking that it was all a myth that girls didn't even have vaginas Because I remember laying now with this one girl up there off a Off million-dollar road and that's when uh, you know the pizza delivery guy crashed and a lot of people had robbed him and shit But I didn't get involved in that I was back at the house, you know, kind of touch a little of that You know trying to just get involved in that womb tunnel. You feel me get a little into that womb and uh Fuck i'm always talking about but but anyway man, uh, thanks for your story man. Thank you for calling in brother for sharing that story Looking for an easy affordable way to stock up for some or grilling as well as a great gift think omahas steaks Right now omahas steaks is giving a limited time father's day gift offer to my listeners Go to omahas steaks.com and intercode past in the search bar for 74% off the father's day steak fix gift package A $235 value now for only 59 99 You want that meat get that meat Order now you get two tender fillet minyomes two bold top sirloin two savory pork chops four omahas steaks burgers four massive gourmet jumbo franks Four crispy chicken fried steaks a packet omahas steaks signature season four apple caramel tartlets for dessert Four premium chicken breasts and some all beef meatballs and you get four Extra omahas steaks burgers for free and if you don't have heartburn after all that then you don't have a heart Give this amazing package as a gift for dad or stock up for incredible summer grilling at 74% off exclusive offer omahas steaks father's day steak fix package value to 235 for just 59 99 Go to omahas steaks.com and type code past into the search bar. That's right Go to omahas steaks.com type past in the search bar to get the father's day steak fix package today Today's episode is also brought to you by Hair club your confidence is important.

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They know the solutions go to hair club.com slash Theo today For a free hair analysis and a free take home hair kit all valued at over $300 That's hair club.com slash Theo for a free hair analysis and free hair care kit hair club.com slash Theo Experience your hair and your life at its best only with hair club. I'm certain you'll love the club And i'm gonna use to put a club on the car She had a Volkswagen rabbit and that thing probably worth $11 you could get into it through the bottom There was no Someone had or water had rotted out the paneling under the rear passenger seat You could get into the car through the bottom of it and my mother would put a club on that thing Unbelievable. We laughed at her so hard, but thank you mom forget me wherever I needed to be Let's take another cross story here. We go.

Hey, Theo. This is joy from a left-door Just calling in to give you my first cross-step story Hey joy, thank you for calling in and you know nothing rings joy to youngsters like touching one another And uh, and so I'm it's just ironic that you called today and thank you for being a supporter And i'm excited to come over there to George. I'm excited to get into the south I'll go later this year on some tour dates and i'm gonna add some more and I want to find some vfw chapters Where we can go and do some fundraising at some of those places But I gotta A lot to do let's hear more thank you for calling joy. I didn't mean to make that about me for a second Let's go The long time ago because i'm actually older than you are so Oh look crop stories have no age.

Okay, these things are timeless. Let's go I do remember vividly because there was a summer between all this 13 turning 14 And that was back in a time where you know little kids just rode their bikes everywhere and hung out outside and did everything all like that During the summer time and I remember there was probably about 10 of us hanging around on our little bikes and we went We're going to go into little area back to back the neighborhood. Oh, yeah the back of the neighborhood What goes on back there? Nothing good and everything good Let's hear more and just like a rock and a creek and stuff these two boys pull up on their mopeds And back then you know I came from an area where oh yeah the french we call them frenchmen Let's hear more two boys pull up on their mopeds and back then you know I came from an area where um that was painted stuff So the cute one actually looked at me and he was like he was about to see me look at me and he was like um, hey You want to ride you want to try riding it and i'm like oh, yeah, oh, yeah never been on the moped Jump on the back wrap arms around them and uh we took off forever young for Yeah Sorry, you just got me do you want to ride in the back?

You got me feeling all of this right now, you know You got me like a racquetball Boots cute, moogie You got me feeling the past suddenly all of a sudden let's hear it on the back wrap arms around them And uh we took off now that's the first time I'd ever felt something, you know Shaking in between my legs and stuff like that so already and I got these little cute little flimsy bike shorts on but Uh, it was already feeling kind of crazy plus I got my mama's cute boy Well, we had a bump and all of a sudden this boy Decides to just slide his hand take it off one of the controls slide his hand back behind his back and just grab a hold of my crush Now at first I was alarmed but at the same time it was one of the first time I'd ever had that feeling about um, do I like it for? Do I not? So, um needless to say I was going about the time we got off of that uh moped and I guess the moral of the story is I did like it whether I wanted to admit it the time or not Um and moped our friends right at times. So anyway, that's my first crop story.

Wow Wow, thank you for sharing that story. It's like The crotch is it's like it's like you ever see you ever you ever be in a neighborhood or something? You get to a certain age and you realize oh, there's a power plant or there's like a power grid or area in our neighborhood Or you you drive by that place for years. You don't know what it is.

It looks like some weird wiring this fences outside Do not enter do not enter and then when they oh, that's electricity that shit That's that that place kills monkeys and commercials years ago And that now that is the crotch that's that thing. That's that electricity. That's that hub. That's that nasa I mean, it's all space.

It's all space and you got that nasa. Just north of your ass You're filming that's that crotch And it's really remarkable It's really really remarkable to hear that story of you on the moped a french a french mode of transportation and the boy reaches back I mean, what a what a power move there And also love how you're not a fit. You're not like oh, this guy molest me That's it nowadays people lose all of their shit But the person who was involved in it, they see what's going on Oh, I met you know the guy it seemed like it was just your experience and that's what happened You could decide if you liked it or not You weren't sure it was just a moment where we kind of decide that got in you know Trappy or nothing like that or put you in a candle or anything like that It was just a regular afternoon and I bet sometimes you see a moped go by and you uh I bet those feelings flare up for you and that's beautiful man. It's truly beautiful to imagine And just a reminisce and to think about that that's life That's life And and I think it's nice to be able to share his story and also yeah It's funny because at those things that those ages things are happening and we're deciding If we like them or not do I like this?

Okay with this does this need to stop This is needs to this needs to occur more what's going on here And that's sexuality. That's how we develop some of our sexuality Is by having experiences that are safe enough where we can still learn and make choices And um, and I know some people that they have dark experiences But I'm glad that we're sharing ones that are you know at least ones where we're we were all in a space where we could learn And have a moment of knowledge Um, you know, I remember I got so many stories about this now and I guess I'll tell them a different time because I want to get into more of an episode here Um, but I remember so we went to the dance when I was in school. I was a school child I mean I was a school boy. A lot of people think I was always an adult and that's insane.

That's insane enough and uh And so I will I remember we went to a dance and afterwards we went back to my buddy's house And one of the gals from the dance came out came back there with us and my buddy ended up touching a crotch And god dude. I was so horny, bro Damn I was horny boy. I was horny I mean I was like a like a try hundred seratops dude. I was horny, bro.

Hawny. Hawny I mean, I'm surprised poachers didn't show up and try to fuck me up because I was hawn and one You know And my so do my buddy was that they went off in the woods and they were being gentle with each other's bodies like that And so then her mom came and got her or whatever I think her mom was a cop or something she was out on a route or something doing police work and And I lived in this kind of place of police sometimes would show up and just shoot a gun into the woods a couple times Just empty You know just empty the clip right into the woods because they figured if you out in the woods fucking around at night and you get shot You probably deserved it, you know a few in the dark woods So but yeah, her mom came by I remember and took her And you know, it was just the time her mom was gonna come pick her up. There was no issues or nothing And then afterwards my buddy's out there and I remember just putting my I mean when they walked off in the woods I remember putting my ear To the ground and just I just wanted to Here as much of this touching as I could I wanted to just be as close to as I could I was so jealous Anyway, they came back and my buddy You know, everybody was all excited and that's when another kid's dad came out to the We were standing on a bonfire out there. Another fella's dad came out there the boy's house it was And he came out there and uh And he ended up this is a little bit grotesque is it but it's also nature and animals do this all the time He ended up smelling my buddy's hand for about 15 minutes out there my buddy's dad And this is my friend who just walked off into the woods and touched a gal's crotch for the first time And then my buddy's dad came out and just smelled my buddy's hand for probably Not 15 minutes.

That's long about nine minutes And we all just sat there and watched him his huff on his hand and just And that's nature boy and that's nature Um What else are we gonna do today? Oh, yeah, we got Nick is gonna come in and talk to us about the news a little bit And then we'll get back into a few more stories um Yeah, but sending some submissions for the single dads We're gonna do some single dads tickets for them for some shows that are sold out All those shows are sold out and save some tickets to surprise some guys and and uh Yeah, because I just can't imagine what that's like and I don't have that experience. I don't have a single dad But I mean I guess I did after my parents divorced, but I didn't live with my father So I don't have that experience, but I can only imagine there's probably not that far different than having a single mother Um, I'll say this Nick is gonna be in with us in just a second. So hold on.

All right. We got uh niggas in studio How's it going man? It's going really good. Uh, just trying to get the studio working order We're making it happen in the meantime.

Yeah, man. I want to thank you too, man for just uh, you know, you guys are I mean, I know we're all doing it, but yeah, there's a lot of space to fill here. Yeah That's how we got a little refrigerator. That's cool.

Yeah, some gold waters We're getting there Um, you have yet to say like on a hundred percent what percent are we at right now you think? Considering the most important function is being able to do the podcast. I'd say we're at 65 That's good. I would agree with that and there's a lot of room for new Opportunity so probably 10% is room for an opportunity.

Yeah. Yeah, and uh, there's like a percent that's always gonna be available Available because we're constantly evolving. So you'll never be to 100 ideally. Wow I think I like it now.

I thought you're right. Yeah, the goal of a hundred percent is almost kind of a crazy, huh? Yeah, what do you do when you get there just disappear into the ether? Yeah, yeah, can't stop What are you gonna do just disappear through a wall like Joe Rogan does sometimes according to uh, Nick Swarzen?

You remember that? Yeah, he said he saw Joe Rogan eating ferret sashimi and then disappeared through a wall I don't imagine him disappearing. I imagine him busting through it like the cool idea. That's true That's true like extremely loudly disappearing Oh That'd be so cool to watch man and uh, yeah, just new construction Joe Rogan's construction company.

We so dope It just takes down walls. Yeah just take down walls Um, Nixon help us with the news. What's going on the news? Uh, let's see first up, um, with uh, Toronto Raptors one win from winning NBA finals point car Kyle Lowry's making headlines on and off the court first he was chasing after loose ball You may have seen this jumped into the stands and uh, almost hit a lady She moved out of the way, but then a guy a couple seats over like gave him this extra shove He was really upset about the time and it turned out after people looked into it that uh, the guy who pushed him was Warriors minority orner mark Stevens adventure capitalist and apart owner.

So rich guy. Yeah real rich guy. I can title rich guy and uh, uh, he ended up NBA said he can't attend anymore finals games and he can't attend anymore games until they complete an investigation Essentially tell people stop talking about it sounds like and that'll be backwards side and uh, yeah, um I don't know what your thoughts on that man. Oh man.

First of all, what about his the first the game and he comes back Imagine on nervous and awkward that's gonna be it's like whenever you got in trouble over something and you got then you had to go back to the place And it was always so uncomfortable. Um You know, it's if he's a my he's a minority owner I'd have to watch the tape again like I think if someone if it's a reaction where like somebody bowls over somebody's just sitting next to me I could have a defensive reaction, you know, uh, I've I did see it a couple times at first I didn't even notice what they were talking about in memorals like who's pushing. I don't see that part. Um But but did it seem like more than that to you?

I just felt like it was unnecessary. I kind of have a feeling the guy might have had a couple drinks And he was feeling feeling loose in the front row, but it's like I just there nothing good come come from it I don't know if you remember the uh, the malice at the palace that destroyed Yeah, run our test Steven jacks in that brawl in Detroit and it's because someone threw something on the court and then the players react and they're the ones that get Suspended for the season or worse, you know, yeah, that's a good point now. Kyle laurie if he reacts He's the he's the he's the bad guy. Yeah, it's like it's like I don't want to compare players dogs But if like a child's like new needle in a dog and the dog bites the kid right put the dog down Right.

Yeah, that's a good point. That's true. Those players have a lot to lose especially in close proximity playing. Uh an intense game Also a game where they've had a lot of trash talking you got fat Drake over there, you know You know, so sick of Drake.

Oh, dude. It's like what do you go play at least master p fucking audition to be on the team Yeah, and show the road games. Yeah, what are you doing? Yeah, you just making it as easy as possible So I think um, I will say I used to be a Drake fan, but I'm just kind of salty because I'm a pretty big Milwaukee bucks fan And uh, he was just all over that series and was he yeah, it was insufferable Yeah, uh, I think it's just kind of I mean ever since like even in his early work when he's like uh the toughest thing ever went there I think he borrowed his uncle's car and brought it back later.

Something and I was like this is There's no street credit here. I think he's a good. He's kind of like a ballad singer more to me He's more like i'm trying to think of somebody to compare him to from Um, he's turned into more Like boys to men. Yeah.

Yep. Yep. I agree. I was a boy to men fan.

So yeah, I agree I was a boy to men fan, but but I think that series is real chippy I think if you're gonna let people sit up on the front and drink alcohol then they could they could do things they don't even think about Definitely the guys in the front row of those games They they feel someone's like they are in the game and the game almost feels Fictional when you're that close sometimes you're so used to watching it on television Then when you're up close it feels like even when I was at the MMA fights, I thought fuck i could probably jump in You know I could do this like as long as I you know read the manual first Like other controls and know what x and r2 do and all of this then I could get right in there Meanwhile the truth is about fucking gotten up there Nine guys would have beat me from behind before if I would have got in the ring two guys would have beaten me so I think a lot of people have that thought though I was a big entourage fan back in the day and our gold he had courtside laker seats and he was like He got yelled at for stepping on the court and he's like I paid 30 grand for the seats I'll check in if I want to yeah, it's the same thing I think people you feel you have some entitlement like you're part of it when you're paying that much and you're sitting up there Right. Yeah, some entitlement. I think you're right. That's a good word for it So does it make it right?

I think that the the punishment will probably justify what happened I think it'll set some precedent, but also These these They run the risk there's a fine line between how close do you put people to the game They know there's you know in every half inch there's an extra $10,000 straight up so they it's like There must be a lot of insurance and a lot of liability policy. They have there. What else we got man One more thing or do you have any other thoughts on it? Just I don't know like like I said the player is the one that stands to lose so I don't like it It should be allowed and I'm glad like they shut them down Now would you love to see a separate game afterwards or a fight afterwards the minority owners fight in each other on court at halftime Let's do some real shit.

Yeah, yeah Make the make the owners play each other and then and then the players can be at the stands and I don't think they would react the same Yeah, I'd love to see some of these snarky little minority owners out there in their uh structure sweaters You know have their side piece hold the banana republic sweater that they wearing the v-neck And uh and let them get out there and beat each other at halftime get a couple two j crews out there And uh have met have them go at it But this brings us to the next story TMZ reported that NBA teams and are discussing and two have already done it They are getting rid of the term owner who for uh majority stakeholders of the team Some people say because it's uh predominantly african-american players There's some racial racial insensitivity with the term owner. Mm-hmm. So what do you think about that? Um, I think that's crazy.

We're gonna have to reroute the dictionary at some point I mean, I don't know dude. Uh, but it makes me uncomfortable when I see people own the people's rights to people on television So I guess some of that I could understand but if somebody's a business owner and I'm employed at the business Then just because they have the term owner I also have the term employee. I also have the term player Also have the term father or you know, whatever your other terms are I'm a brother. I'm a son I'm not just because somebody writes an article and says that this that you're still a slave or you're still of this If you think that way that's at a certain point.

That's your own mentality. I agree. I think it's just ridiculous over Overcorrection that people are doing um players like you said they're employees They own the team like you own this podcast. Right.

I'm not offended if you would ever you don't talk like that But if you ever said I own this podcast, I don't think take that as you own me right But it's interesting. I wonder if with certain people would you use certain would we use certain terms differently, you know I don't think so. I don't think it matters I think at some point it's just people making clickbait and making trouble and a lot of times it's just lawyers Like oh, how can we find another way to let's sue this way now? Let's sue this way.

Oh, let's sue this way Let's sue this way. It's like it just never ends. I agree which raises insurance rates people want to buy insurance is so high Because they're they allow lawyers to absolutely sue every single direction and all these lawyers that are like suing each other They they're buddies and their buddies with a judge and they just they're showing up for another day work with their friends And it doesn't matter who's suing who they're getting a piece of it It's crazy man and at a certain point everything can only go until it goes and when it can't go anymore It's just gonna get pretty real. I think sometimes it's alarming.

I hope so yeah Yeah So next news story Organizers in boston are planning a straight pride parade tentatively scheduled for august 31st The organizers are still working to secure a permit from the city But they just on friday named former break bar editor and controversial figure my low unipless as the marshall for the event And he's homosexual man, isn't he? Yes. Yes. Who's always no pun intended pride in himself on fighting for straight rights ironically, right?

Yeah, I mean, I'm not surprised that they have people want a straight pride parade everybody once has their own group now I feel like if anything feels more under attack these days, it definitely feels like it's straight You know, even though a lot of times they would write this article or something because You know a lot of the media companies seem to be in the same group But I feel like if anybody seems under attack these days or if well, here's what I'll say I have no idea But to me it does feel like straight men Are under attack these days that that make you seem like if you're straight that there's something wrong with you That if you're straight that you're also then anti-gay and that seems to be like a narrative that's sometimes out there that I don't like that much Um, also it's kind of uncomfortable sometimes being a straight male a lot of men will hit on you And if you reject them in a way that even is kind or don't then they will immediately call you Homophobic, which is like I'm not homophobic. I just Like women, I'm not homosexual. So that's cool. If you are I might be homosexual one day You know if I do enough cocaine I could be homosexual for a little while in a bathroom or something Maybe but I don't have any intention to be in full-time gay male Um not this lifetime to wait or not maybe I mean who knows if when we're 40 You know the sugars or whatever we need in the riboflavums or one of them morphs you out next thing, you know Aspartame yeah aspartame dude and you out there trying to tame some ass I mean it could easily happen.

We don't fucking know bro People don't know the side effects of a donut stick. Okay, you think you were lobbying in there every morning Get you that donut stick and that thing doesn't have any side effects boy Come on So I'm not surprised that they want to have that that they want to have a straight pride. I'm not surprised I think it's okay Look the cool thing about america is any group should be able to meet and just because a group meets doesn't mean that it's against your own group Like a lot of people say oh, they're having a straight prize that means that they hate gay or they hate this or I don't even mean any of that maybe it's just some dudes that want to fucking have a good time together I think I think it's kind of silly and like I don't know It's like attention seeking behavior. Yeah, I mean Cristalia had a great great tweet about it.

He said straight pride parade. Hey guys if you're in a parade you're gay so Which is a pretty solid point Maybe it should be the closeted mens parade what I don't like is if they got this guy milo You know Annapolis he seems to be polarizing like his whole thing is just to be polarizing I'm not saying I agree or disagree with any of his views I don't know even what his views are but I think if you're going for somebody polarizing then that makes it kind of create you know It legitimizes it a little bit. Yeah, it's like you're just trying to start trouble Now if you'd got Rick flair or something or dusty roads out there fuck whoo yeah sounds like a party It's not like a good time. I mean nobody wore a beautiful woman's robe like mr.

Rick flair He's kind of a bucket list guess for me for this best weekend. Oh, man. I'd love to have him Who else what you're in here, man? Who else would you like to get?

I've been saying it from mountaintops? I want norma down in here. I think you two together would be just incredibly well What's your buddy? Adam you could do it.

You know what that's a great question Adam. I was me. Oh my god He just texted me seriously. Yeah, Norma had Adam Who else do I want so funny just off about him.

I would love Connor McGregor. I mean that's kind of pine sky. He doesn't do a ton of media appearances But yeah, I think he hates me for some reason. I don't even know You're gonna feel like my conmur Gregor like he hates you and that you don't know him I think we'd be buds.

I'm pretty sure I can buy the conmur Gregor look alike in his world Where'd you conmur Gregor valor wean as well? Yeah a couple years ago. It was way too early. No one knew the fuck he was Yeah, dude.

You were just kind of like a It was 2014. No one knew it was a real fan lumberjack Irish lumberjack any other news Just a couple like kind of fun stories Semi fun. Texas hiker was found alive after missing for over a week. That's Texas man loving place people get taken care of not surprised man Yes, surviving without the water 14 lines escaped from a south african national park.

Let him lose dude. Let him look I'm sure they'll find room for him to live out here in california, you know I'm sure let him loose on the streets out here in california bring him in are they are they rapists? Are they can they read can they write or they addictive drugs who cares get him over here? I'm sure we can use them, you know, I'd love it's gonna get like that on the streets soon people like free the animals from the zoos They can't be caged up.

Let anybody can live a dr. Drew said the other day that the black plague is forming You read that? Uh, he's been talking about uh, bach or whatever it is blue bach bubonic plague. Yeah, I think that way it was it.

You're right. You're right He's like yeah, it's downtown Is that what the smell of human? That's a 35 minutes. Ooh right from here.

We're 35 minutes in the blue bach like Different times, uh, thank you very much. Oh, you can follow him real nip. David's you have a podcast too. Nick.

What is your podcast? Oh, that's awesome of you. Uh, it's uh, I'm embarrassed to say it sometime. You know me too.

It's only taking me about 150 episodes to bring it up Uh, me and a couple buddies who work for the Adam parole show we recap the show the bachelor every week Okay, and the show is called another bachelor podcast another bachelor podcast. So if you uh if you like bachelor botch and botulism Which is headed to the Los Angeles then uh, then you can check out the bachelor and it's every week. Uh, yep Every uh, we try to get it up by thursday at the episode there monday. So cool.

Yeah, yeah another bachelor podcast. Uh, you can check it out I will say very quickly if my favorite compliment we get people who don't even watch the bachelor tell us they listen and they enjoy it Really? Yeah. Yeah, if you look at our acting reviews because our whole thing It's just a vehicle for comedy.

It's it's got a built-in audience I try to talk about the show as little as possible when you're at the podcast. Oh nice Dude, it's an interesting show me david's baycon has got me into it recently because he you know He always reviews it and he likes looking at the chicks on there So if you follow his instagram story, he's always just like harping on it. He's scouting is what he is scouting I'm glad you noticed that all right. We got a couple more calls that came in here the hotline 985-664-9503 Thank you guys for putting up with me on this episodes and just always on this podcast You know, I don't know what I'm doing sometimes and you know, it's weird.

It's like sometimes I come in here and You know I want to You know, like I'm scared of like oh, I'm gonna say something. They're not gonna like me or I'm gonna You know, and I try to keep those kind of thoughts out of my head and just be myself if I can But sometimes it's hard, you know, I just sometimes I just get scared. I'm like, what do I talk about? I don't know what to do And you know what I do a lot of times when I get like that.

I just go I just go I just go and just keep going You know, I'm not gonna do it right. I'm not gonna make everybody happy I'm not a you know, I'm not gonna make myself happy fuck half the time jesus I mean if I was happy person if I was you know happy joyous and free if I was I don't even know if I have this podcast, you know, I don't know But I just want to just thank you guys for putting up with me no matter who I am And as I learned about who I am, you know, it's funny. It's like uh It really teaches me a lot about support and about unconditional support Um, and I hope that I can do the same for you You know, whenever we have opportunities to do that in person or to do that over the over the phone lines or whatever But I just want to thank you for just being supportive of me no matter who I am sometimes Um, because I didn't know that that's really what what support is support sometimes is being there for someone to eat no matter who they are You know, they don't do what you want or they don't behave So then what are you gonna do? You're just gonna You know, do we abandon people then?

You know, and you guys don't do that or you know, people don't do that for me and so I just want to say thank you Oh some great stories and great calls. Let's take another call here. Here we go This was about feeling guilty about things we spend money on we talked about it last week a little bit I make good money Hmm isn't that interesting? You know, it's so funny.

I hadn't really realized until my friend brought it up And she's one of my closest and dearest friends and when she brought that up I was like wow it yeah It feels weird doing something special for yourself That isn't like what the norm says we need to do with our money that isn't with the you know, the Oh, you got to do this and you got to get that and you got to do that I'm Thank you brother. Thank you for the call. You know, I don't know as you're talking I'm even thinking like man how scary it is to be in a place of uncertainty How scary it is to think oh, well, I don't know what's gonna happen And we used to live a little bit there more now We have so many you know, there's everybody has a calendar and everybody has like a plan or a text And you know when the person's arriving you know when they're gonna get there and they used to be This thing of I don't know That's why it was easier than I think to have faith in a in a higher power of any kind Or faith just in anything it just there was more mystery in the air I don't know what's gonna happen But yes, wow when you do something different, you know, I there was a piece of art that almost bought in south africa few years ago And it wasn't very expensive You know, it was I think maybe 350 dollars and I know that's expensive, but it was beautiful Instead I bought this other piece of art for 200 dollars and I didn't like the other piece of art I didn't even like it And they're probably in a week that goes by they don't think about that beautiful painting in south africa that I could have bought for 350 And man, I just didn't want to spend that extra 150 dollars Why? Well, because I need that money for this or for something or some mutual fund or some shit or some I need to be able to tell my friend across the table when we're having dinner that oh, I got a new IRA or I got the Why does somebody said that's what I need to do?

There's a there's definitely a way to plan ahead But to be not focused on the end I think And somehow a lot of these advertising stuff they have us focused on the end And then we get there like damn oh, yeah, I'm all prepared for the end I got money for this hospice I got money for this but I knew every step of the way I didn't take a risk I didn't take a chance I didn't you know and I don't have an answer, you know because I do it myself I'll play it safe a lot the only thing I haven't played it safe with was my career But I play it safe a lot so I don't know it's a good question man Um, you know, I don't know You know and there's no right way to do life. There's no we don't know what we're doing And you know, that's something I heard recently somebody say man I hope I'm always a student and that's where you know I want to try and stay in the space of being always a student if I can and I know when I start to get my own ego I'm own will I can really feel when I start thinking I know so I hate it man. I get so sick of myself sometimes You know when we're talking last week about relying on others and and that's and then or about I don't like working with other people and But then sometimes I also don't like working with myself You know and life is a middle ground. You know, you're you're asking what's the middle ground?

I don't know but man I bet it's a beautiful place Um Yeah, so I just want to thank you guys For being a part of the episode. I'll see some of you this week in Portland in Seattle and Vancouver and Boise um and Yeah, I'm just thinking like how do we be brave enough to make choices that Might be different To not know what that outcome is The teletruth that we're afraid Is going to expose us for who we are It's scary It's real scary menace It is a I mean it's a game of thrones man. It's a game of thrones out here but sometimes we're all the characters and we're the castles and we're the dark corridors and we're the You know, it's just It's amazing man. We're all of it sometimes.

Where the hell is Westeros? Anyways, isn't it Italy? I'm guessing I gotta I gotta peep some of that out. Um No, maybe Newfoundland?

I don't know. Um, I don't know if you're ever even fucking heard of it the more I think about it What I'll say is this man. Let's uh, let's convene next time I want to thank everybody that called in with these magical stories from their youth And um and again, we'll leave out here on this song Yeah, I'm gonna think a little bit more I realized that when it comes to dealing with other people I talked about this last week I don't like to rely on others That was the word that I finally found this week relying I don't like to rely on somebody else It scares me at the roots of my radish Uh, this song is Jameson flood every night. I lie awake.

I feel like a fake I put on a show Yes, it's just life. We're here. Thank you guys. I'll be good to yourselves and I'm gonna try to be good to myself Um, and thank you for all the warm messages I get from a lot of people when I'm not really doing well And you know sometimes there's a lot of letters and stuff I get when I'm traveling.

I never read them and it's not that I don't want you to think I don't care Some of them I feel like they're just you know, it's to me and so I don't know if that's okay to share at a group level And then some of them um Some of them are insane some of them are cut together with newspaper clippins and shit I'm like this is this could be this could be a murderer. So but this is jameson flood every night Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan kite and welcome to kite club a podcast where i'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events Stand up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner. The answer may shock you Sometimes i'll interview my friends sometimes I won't and as always i'll be joined by the voices in my head A lot of people are talking about kite club. I've been talking about kite club for so long longer than anybody else so great Hey, sweetheart.

He's a deal. Anyone who doesn't listen to kite club is a dodgy bloody wanker. Jar mine I'll take a quarter pot of excuse at a big worry I think tom hanks just but I'll be anyway first one of the kite club is tell everyone about kite club second rule the kite club is Tell everyone about kite club the rule like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on youtube Yeah, and yes, don't worry my brad pen impression will get better

Big Old Life: Heather Blackbird interviews people on planet earth. Heather Blackbird loves asking questions. This podcast is a learning experience. Join me, Heather Blackbird, as I talk to people about their lives. Frequency of new episodes is a little all over the place and I'm learning as I go. Big Old Life is a small way of talking about the vastness of life, one person at a time. If you are reading this or found this podcast it's probably because someone you know gave you a link to it. :) Explicit Undeniable w/ Braxton Curtis Braxton Curtis The official Podcast of Braxton Curtis.A Father, Husband, and Business Owner just trying to figure it all out. Explicit Creativity Threads Life w/ Mr Benja Mr Benja Welcome creatives! These are discussions, thoughts, case studies, interviews, and lessons about how our creativity relates to life. The host, Mr Benja, is a former video game programmer / designer for Rockstar Games, Sony Santa Monica, The 3DO Company, and others, as well as a fine artist. -- Be sure to check out the website for more. Explicit Bitcoin Gateway Lea meakin Welcome to Bitcoin Gateway, the podcast where we dive deep into the world of Bitcoin, hosted by Lea Meakin. This show is for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed by the complex world of cryptocurrencies and wants a simple, straightforward explanation. Each episode, we’ll break down the basics of Bitcoin, explore its history, and discuss its potential impact on the future of finance. Whether you’re a complete beginner or just looking to expand your knowledge, Bitcoin Gateway is here to help you understand Bitcoin, one episode at a time. Explicit

Frequently Asked Questions

How long is this episode of This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von?

This episode is 1 hour and 30 minutes long.

When was this This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von episode published?

This episode was published on June 10, 2019.

What is this episode about?

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Theo takes voicemails about listeners first crotch touches, then is joined by Nick for the news, and closes the show with a voicemail about feeling guilty for spending instead of...

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