Five Reasons Consequences Fail (and how to help parents set them)

Most families who come in for therapy are dealing with teens or tweens who are acting out — and often, parents have already given up on consequences because "nothing works." In this episode, I break down why consequences fail when a family's hierarchy has flipped, and how to help parents think about limit-setting differently when a teenager has more power in the household than they should.You'll learn the five reasons consequences stop working in an inverted hierarchy:The consequence isn't heard as a consequence — it lands as a challenge to be defendedThe consequence is too far away in time to matter to a teen brainTeens are loophole thinkers who find the gaps in how rules are writtenThe game changes halfway through the argument (switch tracking)Parents give up their power to someone else instead of holding it themselvesPlus: what an inverted hierarchy actually is, why teens who seem to want power often don't really want it, and why handing authority to another parent, a doctor, or a treatment center can backfire.Grab the free companion PDF on setting consequences — and join Oliver's consultation groups — by joining the Family Systems Collective for free. https://www.skool.com/family-systems-collective-7929/aboutFind out more about me here: https://www.oliverdrakefordtherapy.com/family-counselor/parent-coaching-los-angeles