Welcome to the Mariners Church Life Group Leader podcast. This weekly conversation is designed to equip and resource youth to build a healthy life group community that studies God's word, practices spiritual rhythms, and changes the world together. Hey everyone, this is Scott Kim, the Cyclistup pastor and co-host of the Life Group Leader podcast. Today we're speaking with Esther Chung, the Cyclistup pastor of Women and Mariners, and we'll discuss how to foster deeper relationships among your life group members.
We talk about why this is important and also some practical tips on how to get people to open up. So let's tune in. Thanks for listening. This is today to help resource and equip our life group leaders and anyone listening.
So what we're talking about today is fostering deeper relationships among the members of our life groups. And it's so important to not have just shallow relationships. We want deep connection among our life group members. So how about we just start off by talking about why it's important to have deep relationships in a life group setting.
What are your thoughts on that? Yeah, I mean, first and foremost, it's God's designed for us. You know, God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, they are in relationship and out of relationship they created us for relationship. And so when we walk in relationship, we're walking in our design and then we see an axe for the early church that they were one in the heart and mind.
And so it's just clear that it's the way that God intended it to be and obviously because of the fall, sometimes things could get super complicated and misunderstandings can happen and you're not going to agree with everyone. But I also was just thinking about in James chapter five, it says, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another so that you may be healed. And so deep relationships are essential for healing to be accessed. And I think that some people actually robbed themselves of inner healing and deeper encounter with Jesus that they could have because they're not engaging in deeper relationships.
Yeah. You know, we desire these deeper relationships in our life groups, even in our team right here at the side of the team. I love working with you guys and we've been able to bond and build trust, but trust is really the foundation of relationships. Right.
And as our root of group became a life group, they understand we were able to get to know each other, sharing strongholds, relationships, but it takes time as well. For you, Esther, like how to build spiritual community and trust in our life groups? Yeah. I think, well, my life group that I've been in now, we went through ridded in the fall of 2021.
And so we've been together for four years, which is wild. And we went through deaths, we went through additions of families, people losing jobs, getting jobs, family members experiencing loss and different things like that. But I think managing expectations is actually really essential, especially for the leader. And I think constantly addressing, hey, what is our expectation of this group?
What is our input of this group? I actually have a different group that I also meet with as well. And just to simplify it, we said, hey, here are four Cs. It's commitment, confidentiality, confession and courage.
And with that commitment, it's like, hey, everyone's going to show up. Everyone, like your presence matters to confidentiality, whatever is shared here, especially because we're all women who are married to, and we share about ourselves. And so we try to keep that safe space. Three is confession.
There was a season where one of us fell into sin and watching certain things online. And so we shared that with each other. And there was deep repentance and then a covering of love. And then fourth is courage.
And what I mean by that is we actually practice God's voice, hearing God's voice for each other. So like Sam, if you were in my group, and you brought up something, we would sit and we would wait on the Lord and we would share, hey, here's a Bible verse that comes to mind or here's what I'm sensing from the Lord for you. And so those are just some, a few things. And I think those are maybe some more practical things too.
Like I love when life groups launch now, for the past two sessions, we started life group launch night. And there we talk about planning our 90 days. Like, what does it look like for us to meet? What are we going to study?
And so I think that's so practical, but it just creates such a good fence so that you could be sheep that's running around in the safety of the enjoyment of the shepherd and each other. So what about you guys? Yeah, that's really good. So my life group is a married life group and my wife and I have been leading it for two years now.
And when we've had vulnerable conversations, it's been the most fruitful for our relationship with each other. I just think of the outcome of those conversations. We get so much, we develop a stronger relationship with each other. And that's what God wants for us.
He doesn't want us to have these relationships that can be broken apart by the smallest of things. We are right or die together. And it's been a joy opening up and living those tough moments with my life group. So I just think of the fruit that comes out of being vulnerable.
And it really does start with the life group leader. Like we model that. When we model that for our life group members, it allows them to open up. So that's what comes to mind for me personally, Scott.
I don't know if you had any other thoughts when it comes to opening up with your life group. Yeah, I mean, I think you guys both said it, but it starts with vulnerability with the life group leaders. And it is hard. It's hard opening up your struggles and your challenges, whether it's dealing with your work or your marriage, parenting, all of those things.
And it's hard, but I think that's what God desires for us. When we are able to just be vulnerable and we're able to empathize with one another and support each other through those highs and lows, that builds depth in the relationship rather than just staying at that surface level. And I have sometimes relationships that are a bit superficial. And it gets old after a while.
But in our life group, it's like we're doing life together. We're studying God's word. We're trusting that as we dive into scripture, as we pray for another, like we are growing in our faith and we are building these real deep relationships, not just superficial surface level that we just talk about sports or politics or things like that. So yeah, that's been for us.
That's awesome. And I think any relationship I mean, I'm thinking about specifically my relationship with my husband. Like I think you have to familiarity is one of the most dangerous things. Like, yeah, I'm showing up or like this is just how we do things.
Like I think that that's kind of the killer of intimacy. And so always kind of being on your toes, not because you're nervous, but being on your toes because you're trying to think and discern with the Lord, like, how can I serve this person? And how can I love them? How can I meet their need and where they're at?
And how can I help stir their affection for Jesus? I think that that is the responsibility of a leader. Really you're not just a participant. So when you, it's all because actually when I see really sharp, godly leaders, they're always after a season of like doing well.
And if they feel like they're in maintenance mode, they'll always turn the pot. And I think that there's not to create like tension or disruption, but in the sense of, you know, division, but there is like a good disruption that is, I think, spiritually healthy. And so I mean, the discussion questions can remain the same and the format can remain the same, but maybe highlighting other people in the group or, yeah, I don't know, but it just takes a lot of discernment with the spirit. Esther, you mentioned those four Cs.
I love that. Can you just say that one more time? Yeah, of course. Commitment, confidentiality, confession and courage.
Yeah. That's good. Well, Esther, it's been a joy learning more about your life group and how you've built a community of trust and vulnerability. We love to have you share a little bit more about women's ministry and some events that you have coming up and where the ladies in our life group community could partake in and jump in together.
That's so great. So I mean, it's kind of crazy how much, you know, we've heard, I think since Easter of, I don't know, I think we're, since 2021, I think our church has grown by 50%. And that also means we've grown exponentially in stewarding the hearts of women of all ages. And so it's been so amazing to see women obviously participate in rooted and then joining life groups and in the women's world, we also have Bible studies and what we call mom co, which is a discipleship opportunity for moms of young kids.
And courses like how to study the Bible with Kate, which is going to be offered coed in the fall, which is so exciting in alignment with one of our teaching series. But yeah, our women's night's coming up. We have a three times a year on August 13th and it's called pick it up. And Chris is going to be teaching from an incredible text in first Kings.
And I've actually was a part of a core, a leadership cohort of women where Chris taught this message. And I think that every woman in the room left so marked by the Lord. And I know that could feel like such a vague language, but I think since it's August 13, I just kind of we're going to be sending out an email to all the women like leaders, but going to be encouraging. Hey, after the summer, coming to the women's night might be the grace, like pick it up right where we left top kind of thing so that you can come as a life group and then launch your next fall season together as we're going to be going through a series on reading God's words.
So I just think that that's going to be perfect. And then if life groups, if none of you or ladies haven't gone through or gentlemen too, because it's good case how to study the Bible course, we're starting September 3rd. I think it's the first Wednesday of September. And so you're going to gain some eternal tools that you can use to engage with God in his word.
And so you can be phenomenal with so much faith for it and also to learn from kind of the mom of our church, right? She's the senior pastor's wife. And so she has a burden and a belief for our church. So it's going to be so exciting.
So we have a lot in store. You can participate in it by yourself, but I actually would really encourage because groups to come together because we're going to see you guys together and it'll be it'll change even your life group dynamics. Yeah. That's great.
Yeah. Thanks so much for just your time here today and really our gift leadership and your love for the women, life groups, courses, all of those things, making such an impact here at Mayors. I appreciate you so much. You know, I just want to affirm Esther.
She's a total boss. What is this? Oh, it's not a birthday. But you go.
She is an awesome leader to the women of our church. So thank you for sharing today about how our life group leaders could build that community of trust. God wants us to have deeper relationships. So thank you for sharing some practical tips too.
Would you mind taking a moment to pray for our life group leaders that God would just continue to be present in our groups and foster these deep relationships that he desires? Wow. Yeah, of course. Heavenly Father, we thank you so much for this moment.
I even thank you for the life group leader listening to this podcast and my voice and I pray that you would bless them, that you would remind them that you hand shows them to be the leader of this group. And God, I thank you that you've orchestrated their groups and each person in it for whether they've been together for 20 years or two days. God, I just thank you so much that you've constructed our group so that we can thrive and flourish and do life together. And so Lord God, I just pray in this next season, this fall season as we prepare to welcome it, I pray that you would strengthen our leaders and God anoint them from the crown of their head to the bottom of their feet.
God equip them with practical tools through the podcasts and leader huddles and all the resources that are there, but also anoint them by your spirit to be able to discern what is happening in the hearts of your people. And may they may their deepest desire to be to point other people to the person of Jesus Christ. And so God, I believe that we're going to see our life groups strengthen and transform into the lightness of you and it will truly be a taste of heaven. So thank you so much, Lord, and Jesus, and be great.
Amen. Pick it up. Pick it up. Let's go.