Fountain of Youth

This week Sam takes on another adventure quest with the 2025 movie Fountain of Youth. Join Luke (John Krasinski) as he gallivants around town stealing art with zero repercussions. After his latest art theft, he goes to London to ruin his sister Charlotte's (Natalie Portman) life by stealing from the museum she curates and getting her fired. You'd think John Krasinski could pull off making that charming, but you'd be wrong. None of that matters because now that she's been fired, Charlotte can join in on his latest scheme! What scheme is that? Why, it's leading a billionaire-backed expedition to locate the the Fountain of Youth (which neither fountains nor youths, but that's for another time) to cure the benefactor's liver cancer. Why you ask? Fame and glory. Definitely not to follow in their father's Indiana Jones footsteps regardless of what the movie tells you. This, of course, requires stealing a bunch of Renaissance art because six artists hid clues in their paintings for some unfathomable reason, though not really in their paintings, more just kinda on them. This leads our heroes to some of the lamest puzzle solving this side of The DaVinci Code which Sam complains about. A lot. This has made them a target for Interpol and Charlotte has dragged her eleven-year-old son on the lamb with her in a bid to become the world's worst mother. There's also some psychic protector of the Fountain hot on their trail, though she proves remarkably inept. None of this can prepare our hosts for the end of this movie which is so incomprehensible it completely breaks their brains. This is in no way aided by a brief exposition cameo by Stanley Tucci, and in fact only muddies things further. So join us on a rip-roaring adventure that leaves Sam begging Danielle to watch the movie herself to see if she can figure it out. We're sure it makes sense to someone, just not us.