Friday, May 15th, 2026 - Trump's Human Printer, Kash Patel's Pearl Harbor Snorkel, FDA Commissioner Quits Over Flavored Vapes

Today's Headlines: Trump's personal aide Natalie Harp — dubbed the "Human Printer" by the Wall Street Journal — follows the president around with a printer for his Truth Social posts and is responsible for his midnight rage posting, including the Obama monkeys video, because no one else on his comms team has any visibility into what goes out at 2am. Trump returned from China having spent most of his time complimenting Xi Jinping's height, claiming Xi promised to stop arming Iran while continuing to buy their oil, getting nowhere on tariffs, and receiving a firm warning to back off Taiwan — which makes 70% of the world's semiconductors — with the one concrete outcome being China agreeing to buy 200 Boeing jets, which sent Boeing's stock down 4% because the market wanted 500. Kash Patel, meanwhile, used an FBI work trip to Hawaii to do a "VIP snorkel" around the USS Arizona at Pearl Harbor where snorkeling is explicitly prohibited, and is separately being reported to have padded the FBI's arrest statistics by adding people to the Most Wanted List right before they're captured. The FDA commissioner resigned after the administration approved blueberry, mango, and menthol flavored vaping pods over his objections, and RFK Jr.'s chief spokesperson quit the next day for the same reason — flavored vapes being, apparently, everyone's line in the sand. On a darker public health note, ProPublica found that the growing MAHA-driven trend of parents rejecting Vitamin K shots for newborns — not a vaccine, just a blood-clotting intervention — has led to a measurable increase in infant deaths from preventable brain bleeds. Two House members have been missing for weeks and are both running for reelection, PCOS has been renamed PMOS because the old name caused decades of misdiagnosis, Stephen Miller's wife is in talks with Paramount for a podcast deal, and King Charles announced the UK will finally prioritize banning conversion therapy, which several prime ministers have promised and never delivered. Resources/Articles mentioned: NYT: After Xi's Warning on Taiwan, He and Trump Strike Positive Tone: Live Updates on Trump's China Visit WSJ: The Late-Night Truth Social Storms That Offer a Window Into the President’s Mind PBS: FBI Director Kash Patel took 'VIP snorkel' at a Pearl Harbor memorial, emails show MS Now: FBI insiders: Kash Patel is ‘padding the stats’ to boost his record of arrests Forbes: 2 House Members Have Been Absent For Weeks, Missing Dozens Of Votes NYT: Marty Makary, Trump’s F.D.A. Commissioner, Resigns After Weeks of Pressure The Hill: RFK Jr.’s chief HHS spokesperson resigns over flavored vapes ProPublica: Babies Are Bleeding to Death as Parents Reject a Vitamin Shot Given at Birth AP News: The condition PCOS is now called PMOS. What to know about the name change and what it means for care Axios: Scoop: Paramount in talks with Katie Miller for podcast deal as it eyes expansion Them: U.K. Government Pledges for Fifth Time in Eight Years to Ban Conversion Therapy Subscribe to the Betches News Room and join the Morning Announcements group chat. Go to: betchesnews.substack.com Morning Announcements is produced by Sami Sage and edited by Grace Hernandez-Johnson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices