Friendly Advocate or Flying Monkey? (Short)

So often, people who love and support us are also in contact with or know our distancing or estranged adult child. I'm often asked whether it is "a good idea" or "will it work" to have one of these people talk to the adult child on the parent's behalf.   I also hear stories about people taking it upon themselves to  approach an adult child without the parent's involvement—to defend us, advocate for us, or encourage our adult children to "stop the madness."   The third scenario related to this topic involves parents recruiting, encouraging or requesting that a friend or family member approach their estranged child to advocate on their behalf.   Regardless of who, how or why people advocate for us, after a time, these efforts often end in more sadness and disappointment for the parent. So, how can we make sense of it when advocacy on behalf of the parent’s does not bring the intended outcomes?In this episode, I explore these three scenarios from the adult child's perspective. You'll hear some strategies for navigating all three, and I'll explain why ensuring a clear and direct path for communication between the adult child and estranged parent becomes essential.  This episode is a shorter introduction to the topic. For a deeper dive, you can find the expanded episode on the When Our Adult Children Walk Away website.Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you. Send an email to Janet@jesteinkamp. It is not possible to respond to your Fan Mail posts directly.DISCLAIMERThe content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet SteinkampWhen Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries. The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating family estrangement, communication breakdowns, grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development and adult family relationship dynamics.Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection and safe and appropriate family systems. Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.