From Fear to First Gear

After a quick nighttime jog, the universe rewarded me with a delightful surprise in my real-life mailbox: my Spanish driver’s license in its card form. ¡Por fin! 🎉I looked at my name by my address: Gipuzkoa 20001. It took me back to the first time I received mail at my new home.❤️ It's fascinating how seemingly small things can bring such excitement when they're fresh and new. The challenge is in keeping the enthusiasm alive.A few things kept me up last nightThe sound of the wind, Mikel’s snoring, and this article raging a storm in my head.*Unlocks phone and writes at 2am*I’m deleting everything I wrote yesterday, saving the intro, and starting again.Wheeling aroundI’ve been relearning to drive a stick shift, getting comfortable on a scooter, and giving myself missions on the bike.I’m not comfortable on two wheels. I was and still am a clumsy little girl and I have the scars on my knees to prove it. I think I never really built my jelly leg muscles. (Gotta do more squats!)Driving on these unfamiliar roads gives me anxiety. I grew up in a racing family; my grandfather Pocholo Ramirez was a legendary race car driver in the Philippines. The next generations also followed suit.“The one with the beard is the racer to be feared.”That meant we have to drive well—and fast! Road rage runs in my blood and hearing passionate debates about what other drivers do wrong behind the wheel adds pressure to not be the noob, the reason for a traffic jam, the one people honk at, the a$$h0le.😬It’s something I appreciate! Learning the rules and how to be courteous but quick on the road; being trained to think of others, respect people that we have to share a space with… This perspective translates to other public spaces, too.I’m mindful to signal before changing lanes; stay on the right lane when not going fast enough; walk quicker when a car is waiting on me to cross a pedestrian lane; not block an entry or escalator when I don’t know where I’m going; think of what I want to order so as not to hold up the line—one-piece chickenjoy with rice, please!I wish more people were aware of those around them and their power to affect.Growing in kindness and understandingBut oftentimes, we aren’t born that way. We aren't inherently equipped to embody the ideal qualities of a mindful and capable driver, pedestrian, athlete, citizen, employee, parent, daughter, or person we imagine in our minds.Rarely is someone just naturally excellent and great. (If you are, well, then lucky you!) For most of us, this is learned and earned through practice and by making mistakes. Research, study, and having the courage to ask questions and admit when I need improvement are often my first steps.I had the pleasure of interviewing the enlightening Dr. Sarah Glova about the Growth Mindset on the EX Experience podcast. Basically, it’s changing from saying: “I’m not good at it.” To: “I’m not good at it yet.”Because. Don’t we all have the capacity to grow? Improve? Get better?That’s something I now tell myself when fear brings paralysis, like when the engine dies on a tollgate. Woosah. It’s ok to suck in the beginning! It’s ok to make mistakes, to fail! Keep at it and you’ll get better.Now, though, I’m also seeing beyond me. Others are on their journey of growth and reaching their full potential, too. So when I find myself with road rage, I need to remind myself that other drivers also need encouragement and a trigger to flip from an “I suck” to an “I’ll work to get better” mindset.I mean. Not everyone had the privilege of learning how to drive a stick shift on a racetrack with Pocholo Ramirez telling them when to brake, downshift, and take the chicane.😉How did you learn how to drive? What was your most embarrassing booboo?😳 Let's swap stories and remind each other that it's all part of the ride. Reply to this email or send me a message with your anecdotes!😉Thank you for reading Janine’s Where I Roam Free blog and newsletter.🙏🏻 This post is public so feel free to share it!😊 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit janinayramirez.substack.com