From Hasty to Heroic: The Impact of Slowing Down in Negotiations

A reflective conversation with Moshe Cohen on why slowing down is essential for managing emotion, improving judgement, and performing better in negotiations.   What We Explored in This Episode In this episode of The Negotiation Club Podcast, Philip Brown (Founder of The Negotiation Club) is joined by Moshe Cohen—negotiation trainer, mediator, and author of Collywobbles: How to Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous—to explore one of the most overlooked negotiation skills: slowing down. Drawing on decades of experience teaching negotiation and mediation, Moshe shares insights into how emotional reactions shape behaviour at the negotiation table, often before conscious thinking has a chance to catch up.   The Emotional Dynamics of Negotiation A central theme of the discussion is that emotions are usually the first responder in a negotiation. Excitement, fear, frustration, or anxiety can trigger rapid reactions that bypass strategy and preparation. Moshe explains that even highly skilled negotiators are vulnerable to emotional surges, and that unmanaged emotion is one of the most common causes of poor decisions under pressure.   Why Slowing Down Changes Outcomes The episode explores slowing down as a deliberate technique rather than a personality trait. Moshe describes how pausing—physically and mentally—creates space between stimulus and response. This pause allows negotiators to: Notice emotional signals such as tension or increased heart rate Interrupt reactive behaviour Choose a more thoughtful, strategic response Slowing down is presented not as hesitation, but as control.   Micro-Moments and Deliberate Practice Philip and Moshe discuss how the skill of slowing down is developed in micro-moments—the brief instances where emotion spikes and pressure increases. Rather than trying to change behaviour wholesale, negotiators can practise recognising these moments and applying small interventions: a pause, a breath, or a conscious delay before responding. Over time, these small adjustments compound into better performance.   Turning “Slow Down” into Practice To support this skill in practice, a dedicated “Slow Down” Negotiation Card has been created. The card acts as a prompt during role-play or live negotiations, reminding practitioners to pause, reflect, and manage emotional responses before acting. To practise, try deliberately slowing your response in your next negotiation—especially when you feel pressure to answer quickly. Observe how this affects both your thinking and the other party’s behaviour. As Moshe notes, progress in negotiation is not about perfection. Even small improvements in emotional management can significantly improve outcomes over time.