From Heart at War to Peace: Transforming My Relationship with My Family (#6)

From Heart at War  To Peace: Transforming My Relationship With My FamilyToday, I will share my journey from conflict to peace. It started in the desert. When I think back to my time in the New Mexico Desert in 2019, I realize something important. I loved my children, but I didn't see them as individuals. Instead, I saw them as extensions of myself. In my journal, I realized that I had been trying to control and shape my children's lives to fit my idea of perfection. This realization hit me hard. How has this affected my children? How have I overshadowed their dreams and desires? These questions bothered me deeply. But facing this discomfort head-on allowed me to grow and heal. It gave me the space to confront these truths honestly and openly.On this episode, we'll talk about:As a father and a busy executive who felt overwhelmed. I decided to go on a five-day retreat to a monastery for a break.Alex returned home from an equine therapy ranch and completed high school online. But he again, started exhibiting aggressive and threatening behavior. The family set rules, but he didn't follow them and left the house. Sawyer gained weight and Kaylee had chronic thumb pain. Our lives were demanding and filled with conflict.I spent time at a remote monastery in the US, engaging in various activities and finding silence. On the fourth day, I was reading a woman’s story that she viewed her children as objects, causing me to question my perspective.A moment of self-realization, leading to intense emotions. Seeking forgiveness and deciding to make a change.Changing our perspective is crucial for relationships, as seeing others as objects hinders connection. We must see loved ones as human beings with dreams, desires, and fears equal to our own to have fulfilling relationships.The collusion diagram in Dr. Warner's book, "Bonds That Makes Us Free” and the Arbinger Institute's influence pyramind is a great tool for me.The importance of understanding and love in their relationship, rather than always trying to fix the teenager. The Anatomy of Peace as a tool to transform conflict into peace, is particularly useful for parents. The relational, leadership, or change pyramid is introduced, with understanding and love at the top and correction as the base.A personal story about my child with reactive attachment disorder and our perspective on parenting. My reflections on prioritizing our image to others over our child's well-being. The question posed is how to see children as human beings rather than objects.The importance of following our instincts to do the right thing in our interactions with others. Ignoring these instincts leads to self-justification and dehumanizing others.The views and opinions expressed on the “Life In Transition” podcast are solely those of the author and guests and should not be attributed to any other individual or entity. This podcast is an independent production of Life In Transition, and the podcast production is an original work of the author. All rights of ownership and reproduction are retained—copyright 2023.