From Infertility Chasing to Fertile Trusting: The Real Mindset Shift for Fertility Success episode artwork

EPISODE · Mar 14, 2025 · 15 MIN

From Infertility Chasing to Fertile Trusting: The Real Mindset Shift for Fertility Success

from Finding Fertility · host Monica Cox

"The shift from chasing to trusting is the real work. It’s easy to stay in a loop of doing more research, more protocols, more control. But remember, the real magic is when you stop overcompensating and start trusting yourself." Topics Discussed The surprising fear of success in fertility and how it keeps you stuck Why your brain might see pregnancy as another way to fail instead of freedom The deep-rooted programming that keeps you addicted to “doing” instead of “being” How unworthiness and identity play a major role in fertility struggles Breaking the habit of seeking validation through achievement Why anxiety over fertility can escalate into pregnancy anxiety (and how to prevent it) The three powerful questions to ask yourself to shift out of fear and into trust "If you deep down don’t believe you deserve to become a mother, you’ll subconsciously create obstacles to prevent it." Truth # 4: The Hidden Block to Fertility Success: Overcoming Suppressed Emotions During Infertility & IVF https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-z2s2n-18073a4 Truth # 3: The Hidden Impact of Overworking & Stress on Your Fertility During Infertility & IVFhttps://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-ywdwv-17ea0ee  Truth # 2: How to Overcome Overthinking, Worry & Fear During Infertility & IVF https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-dzrwn-17c5c7d Truth # 1: The Illusion of Control: How Letting Go Can Transform Your Fertility Journey During Infertility, IVF & Beyond https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-j6pya-17b061a Hello, Beautiful! Monica here, and today we’re diving into a mind-bending, slightly uncomfortable (but wildly important) topic—FEAR OF SUCCESS. Yep, you read that right. Not fear of failure. Fear of actually getting what you want. Sounds crazy, right? I mean, isn’t the whole point of this journey to become pregnant? But let’s be real—your brain has been so busy obsessing over the struggle, the next supplement, the next protocol, the next thing—that the idea of finally crossing the finish line is, well… TERRIFYING. Because what happens when you’re no longer the one “trying”? What happens when you do get pregnant? Your subconscious is sneaky like that. It convinces you that staying in the hamster wheel of research and control is saferthan stepping into the unknown of success. Because success means transformation. It means surrender. And let’s be honest—Type-A, overachieving, Google-addicted Mabel is not a fan of surrender. In this episode, Monique is rolling her eyes at Mabel’s overthinking, Monica is here to gently guide the way, and YOU are going to uncover whether fear of success is secretly sabotaging your journey. You’ll also get three game-changing questions to sit with (preferably under a tree, because let’s add some nature to the healing process, shall we?). So, if you’ve been stuck in doing instead of trusting, if pregnancy feels just as scary as infertility, or if your brain has ever whispered “What if I mess this up?”—this episode is your wake-up call. Let’s break the cycle and step into the version of you who is ready to receive. "For so long, you have been the woman who’s trying. That’s who you are. That’s how you relate to yourself, your partner, your doctors. The idea of not being her anymore? That can feel like a loss—even though it’s what you want more than anything." Three Questions to Help You Move Past the Fear of Success Why do I feel more comfortable being the woman who is trying rather than being the woman who is pregnant? If I stop chasing and just trust, who even am I? What does that version of me look and feel like? How do I let go of the identity of the one who is trying when I’ve been living in it for so long? Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome to Finding Fertility! Let’s talk about the sneaky fear of success. 01:33 – Why getting pregnant might feel scarier than failing (subconscious sabotage 101) 02:56 – “What if I don’t deserve this?” How unworthiness keeps you stuck 04:26 – The real reason you can’t stop doing (and why sitting under a tree might help) 06:23 – Mabel’s lesson on repeating the same old patterns in fertility 07:19 – The 3 questions you need to ask yourself today 08:34 – If you stop chasing and start trusting… who even are you? 10:00 – The science behind stress in pregnancy (aka, get that cortisol down NOW) 11:29 – Letting go of the identity of the “woman who’s trying” 12:56 – How to shift into the version of you that’s ready to receive "The magic is in the mundane. When you feel that anxiety bubbling up, the real work is sitting in the uncomfortableness of not doing." I'm deep-diving into TEN truths, peeling back the layers of chaos with practical tools, empowering insights, and her real-life experiences. Whether you’re feeling stuck in your fertility journey or wrestling with overwhelm and doubt in another area of life, these conversations offer a roadmap to healing and transformation. ALL 10 TRUTHS: Why Grief Isn’t Failure: The Raw Truth About Infertility and Healing - Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/why-grief-isn-t-failure-the-raw-truth-about-infertility-and-healing Subscribe on Substack: https://substack.com/@findingfertility Full Transcript on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/from-infertility-chasing-to-fertile-trusting-the-real-mindset-shift-for-fertility-success  Let's Do This Together 💚 Monica   Message me DREAMS to access your free Fertility Breakthrough Session: Email: [email protected] [not .com 🤣] Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok    🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10   🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣ Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣ Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i   🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  🍍   Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

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"The shift from chasing to trusting is the real work. It’s easy to stay in a loop of doing more research, more protocols, more control. But remember, the real magic is when you stop overcompensating and start trusting yourself." Topics Discussed The surprising fear of success in fertility and how it keeps you stuck Why your brain might see pregnancy as another way to fail instead of freedom The deep-rooted programming that keeps you addicted to “doing” instead of “being” How unworthiness and identity play a major role in fertility struggles Breaking the habit of seeking validation through achievement Why anxiety over fertility can escalate into pregnancy anxiety (and how to prevent it) The three powerful questions to ask yourself to shift out of fear and into trust "If you deep down don’t believe you deserve to become a mother, you’ll subconsciously create obstacles to prevent it." Truth # 4: The Hidden Block to Fertility Success: Overcoming Suppressed Emotions During Infertility & IVF https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-z2s2n-18073a4 Truth # 3: The Hidden Impact of Overworking & Stress on Your Fertility During Infertility & IVFhttps://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-ywdwv-17ea0ee Truth # 2: How to Overcome Overthinking, Worry & Fear During Infertility & IVF https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-dzrwn-17c5c7d Truth # 1: The Illusion of Control: How Letting Go Can Transform Your Fertility Journey During Infertility, IVF & Beyond https://www.podbean.com/eas/pb-j6pya-17b061a Hello, Beautiful! Monica here, and today we’re diving into a mind-bending, slightly uncomfortable (but wildly important) topic—FEAR OF SUCCESS. Yep, you read that right. Not fear of failure. Fear of actually getting what you want. Sounds crazy, right? I mean, isn’t the whole point of this journey to become pregnant? But let’s be real—your brain has been so busy obsessing over the struggle, the next supplement, the next protocol, the next thing—that the idea of finally crossing the finish line is, well… TERRIFYING. Because what happens when you’re no longer the one “trying”? What happens when you do get pregnant? Your subconscious is sneaky like that. It convinces you that staying in the hamster wheel of research and control is saferthan stepping into the unknown of success. Because success means transformation. It means surrender. And let’s be honest—Type-A, overachieving, Google-addicted Mabel is not a fan of surrender. In this episode, Monique is rolling her eyes at Mabel’s overthinking, Monica is here to gently guide the way, and YOU are going to uncover whether fear of success is secretly sabotaging your journey. You’ll also get three game-changing questions to sit with (preferably under a tree, because let’s add some nature to the healing process, shall we?). So, if you’ve been stuck in doing instead of trusting, if pregnancy feels just as scary as infertility, or if your brain has ever whispered “What if I mess this up?”—this episode is your wake-up call. Let’s break the cycle and step into the version of you who is ready to receive. "For so long, you have been the woman who’s trying. That’s who you are. That’s how you relate to yourself, your partner, your doctors. The idea of not being her anymore? That can feel like a loss—even though it’s what you want more than anything." Three Questions to Help You Move Past the Fear of Success Why do I feel more comfortable being the woman who is trying rather than being the woman who is pregnant? If I stop chasing and just trust, who even am I? What does that version of me look and feel like? How do I let go of the identity of the one who is trying when I’ve been living in it for so long? Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome to Finding Fertility! Let’s talk about the sneaky fear of success.01:33 – Why getting pregnant might feel scarier than failing (subconscious sabotage 101)02:56 – “What if I don’t deserve this?” How unworthiness keeps you stuck04:26 – The real reason you can’t stop doing (and why si

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