Hey everybody, Jason Ellis. Remember the Jason Ellis Show? Yeah, I do. It's on Patreon and it's like five shows a week and we have guests and YouTube can't stop us from saying stuff and we say it and you can text and you can be a part of the show.
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This show that you were enjoying this free pot, thank you for being here, but this is just a little, a moose-boosh, it's just a little more so it barely counts as an appetizer of what is waiting for you. Every stinkingweekatpatreon.com slash Ellis made. I have no boss. We can do whatever we want.
Should we fire this puppy up? I'm ready. Oh, I'm gonna sing and this is a smoke machine. I have to warn you.
Okay. Don't worry about it. It goes real quick. Okay.
Alrighty. Three, two. The smoke machine decided not to go, which means it's gonna go again. And I don't wanna turn it off because I like it when it interrupts.
So just be ready. Yeah, that was a pretty, it was a pretty small load. Cut, yeah. I'm gonna leave that.
The fact that I can see you and our guests. Welcome back, Sovereign Sire right now. Stupid. Just wants to do whatever it wants to do, man.
It's like everybody that I know in my life, my dogs. I'm like, don't pee on that. Man, I need to pee on it. I try to get rid of my dogs today.
That's looking good. I got rescue dogs. I got divorced and my ex wife was like, let's rescue these two. Other dogs and I already got three dogs.
And I was like, well, you take care of the animals because that's why she part many reasons. But one of the reasons she left is because I don't usually do anything. Oh, yeah, yeah. I grew up.
I do it now. That's kind of the problem with men. Bit late. Yeah.
Yeah, I heard that. And I'm not necessarily. Yeah, but five is too many in these two. Yeah, and they're very cute.
And they come as a package, but a friend came over to shoot photos of me today, which is also weird. I took photos today with a photographer that shoots a lot of photos for adult entertainers. And it's not, you don't have sex. It's like artsy photos.
But who was it? Alexandra, no, their last name for God. They're pretty cool. When you mention their name, everyone else goes, no way.
So I'm like, yeah, I don't know either. But they hit me up. And here I am. And now I've got a dog mask on.
And I'm on my knees with little boy shots on. Sure. But real artsy. OK, that's like, we're starting to get closer to a photographer.
I can't think of the last name, but that is now. What's their last name? They're the nicest people. They did it so well.
They normally do like sort of latex and other stuff. Yeah. And I feel like I know who you're talking about. For sure.
They are a very big deal. Because I started as a fetish model before I went into adults. And then I followed them. And all their photos are amazing.
Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's just the last name of this game. But I feel like I know exactly who you're talking about. Is it something like Kacha?
Probably not Kaga. Well, anyway, they're amazing. Yes, it is. All right.
Yeah, and they're amazing. And I'm not used to modeling. I don't know. I'm getting nervous.
I'm in the office. Like all I've ever done is my job. Right. But I'm modeled as a skateboarder, which means you have to pull the same face the whole time.
OK. It's like, I don't care. And I'm very tough. Right.
So that's my modeling face. Like, oh, we're taking photos because of my new shoes out. And I go, you have another face Jason. I'm like, what about this?
Because that's it. It's exceptionally difficult to photograph men. I like to think of myself as sort of like the model whisper, just because I spent so much time doing it, that even like at family events, weddings, things like that. Yes, you say things to help.
I was like, I'll just climb in and be like, here, shoot from the middle. OK, say Apple. Like, or is it happy instead of smile? Because it just different things like that.
Like I can kind of help people kind of get out of that place. Because most people have like one face they make in a photo that they feel they look good with that face. And they're usually wrong. Well, it's a time anything just looks weird.
Right. You know what I mean? You guys, you got to smile with the eyes, not with the mouth. What?
OK. Because a lot of people, like my kid, you take a picture of me. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
When you're actually happy, you smile. I mean, the lips are obvious, but the eyes go with it. It was hard to laugh sometimes because of the... But sometimes laughing will get like the best photos.
Right. So you should like let yourself feel the full range. Because sometimes they snap shit when you're not looking and you're not on. And like those turn out to be like the best images.
That would be my best. Yeah, that would be my best ones. Yeah. When I'm not thinking.
Yeah. Yeah. So but that was it was nerve-wracking. And it was you know, I can't they're like, they're not that provocative, but they're provocative enough to the point where I was going to put one in my story before the show started.
I was like, no. You said you're in a dog mask. And I got the what's the chest? Harness?
Yeah. You like gay guys wear? Yeah. So I look real gay.
And the person I was taking photos with was also a guy. So it was real gay. Yeah. Which I'm okay with.
I am half a gay. So that's cool. But maybe not for my Instagram. I don't know.
I feel well. No, I think because I had the same thing where... So after I retired from a adult, I ended up in doing some mainstream writing stuff. And it was very much like a culture shift to be in a room where I hadn't fucked everybody.
And I realized that there's a lot of behavior that I have in social interactions that came from being important. For example. Grabbing people's butts or their boobs as a form of just endearment and like, hi. Which is super acceptable on a porn set because you're about to work together.
So it's just considered normal. Like you're flirting and you're kind of just trying to keep it the mood up, the energy up. Recognize. And I've caught myself almost doing that in social situations where, luckily I was able to, I was like, girl, these are normies.
Like to them, this is highly not normal. And so I think I'm a girl. There is a little different. Now if I got around grabbing everyone's butt at the Christmas pot, you know, not at the social show.
What's considered groping the barriers that you're putting behind her for women. But like I guess what I was trying to say is when you're kind of in the lifestyle a bit, your meter for what is like weird kind of is fucked up. Well, I mean it too. I mean, not as, not as.
But that's what I mean is like, oh, maybe that's too much. And you're in a dog mast. Yeah. It was just, I knew this was happening.
There was a lot of things happening at one point. Miles was here and I didn't know Miles was here. And I walked by with boy shorts. And I'm like, what are you doing here?
Like this is this is gay time right now. Like I don't need Jason Ells show in gay time. Like you're crossing the swords. When did you start getting gay?
When did that happen? I mean, I've had a little, I've had some experiences my whole life but coming out probably about 10 years ago. OK. I mean, maybe less.
Depends on how you want to consider. OK, that was really tough. Well, so you were on the radio show, Sovereign. Yeah.
It was 2017, six years ago at that point. OK, well then four years maybe. Yeah, you wouldn't have been aware of it. Sorry, I hit my head a lot.
It's all a blur to me. Well, I had a friend that just came out as bisexual like maybe a year or two ago. And he was like, look, there's something like, I've got to tell you. And I was like, OK.
He's like, so like I'm bisexual. And I was like, duh. And he's like, what do you mean, duh? And I was like, used to tell me stories about how like you would get really drunk and sometimes suck guys dicks.
Yeah, well, that's OK. And he was like, oh, I guess that is kind of gay. And I was like, bro. Kind of.
Yeah, I was way more like that. No, there's no way to have a dick in your mouth and not feel some type of way about it. Not to get all Jeff Foxworthy here, but if you just suck off a guy, you might be bisexual. I thought I was going to be a redneck.
Damn it. Yeah. If you've got bad habits, like I have, this is not a read. I'm just telling you, if you've got bad habits and you want something to help you get through these bad habits, that's a good habit.
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It's still, it's still, uh, I'm still, I'm not comfortable with it all the time. OK. You know, like I, I think I talk about it because I want people that are younger, that I've gone through, like, what I went through to know that it's OK, and that I'm here and I'm me, and that's, that's OK. But it doesn't mean I haven't, uh, I still feel uncomfortable.
Because I know, you know, I'm a motor guy, I'm a fighter, I'm a skateboarder, skateboarding is actually OK. They love it. Skateboarding is like very gay. Like when I was in high school, when I was in high school.
I don't know back then. So when I was in high school, like all the skaters, yeah, like I went to, I went to a performer at high school. So, so given that, but still, so like all the skater boys as a joke would make out with each other is it was like, oh, it's so funny. And I was just like, wow, um, this like skaters are really open minded.
And that wasn't happening in my ramp. You went, you went to anyway? Yeah, exactly. Well, well, no, it wasn't happening.
I was a second, I was like the punk rock holder. That was all about just completely like anything that was a tab, but not at all. Yeah. Was something to be run over.
See, there's a gay and a not gay way to make out with a dude when you're a teenager in the 90s. Because I can recall doing it with guys at parties where I knew that there was somebody there who homophobic is such a strong word. I'm trying to like lead with the love. Yeah.
Very uncomfortable with the. That's all. So we found it really funny to go. Oh, the three of us are alone in the room.
I'm making out with you in front of him just because we know how much you'll make him uncomfortable. Yeah. And that's kind of what I'm talking about. Yeah.
You know, it was it was seems like a punk rock gesture to make squares really uncomfortable. Yeah, blowing guys. Blowing guys. Blowing guys.
Blowing guys. Blowing guys. Blowing next level. Yeah.
Right. So, yeah, I never see that's it. I didn't do that either. Like I was always I did the straightest thing a gay guy could do.
And then when I came out, I was like, why not try different things? And at first, I didn't like them. Like I remember kissing a boy is not I didn't like that. Like he could blow me.
But if you try to kiss him, I'm like, dude, that's OK. Don't do that. I'm not. It was like, you know that movie boondock Saints where the cop is we into phone is like, yeah, but he doesn't want anybody to do gay stuff to him.
Yeah. I really related to that. Like it was there was certain things where I was like, don't know. Like I'm like, like a, well, in I'm queer.
So in lesbian culture, we have pillow princesses and touch me knots. Oh, touch me knots. That's not is like a stud, right? Yeah.
That doesn't want their breasts or their genitals to be touched in a way that kind of makes them feel feminine. Yeah. Does that make sense? Like they want to be the man.
Yeah. And we don't want to be men, but like in the bedroom, they want to take on the assertive, aggressive role. The first time I got touched by nipples, I did everything in my panel to laugh. Because I was like, what are you doing?
Yeah. This is dead. This is dead here. You know, I'm not saying that I'm not bold.
But now I do. Now I let it happen. Now I do all those things and I like it, but it took a long time for me to to break it down and be OK with it. Yeah.
I think that was the main thing. I just it was like, I had a gay friend who wanted me to go hang out with another guy. And I went over there with him and the guy tried to kiss me. And I was just not having it.
And I was like, I don't really feel like I'm going to cut out. And I waited outside. And then when he came and he got in the car, he started laughing. I'm like, what are you laughing at?
He's like, it's because he tried to kiss you, isn't it? And I was like, yeah. And he knew me more than I knew me because he was like, it's OK. You're just not that gay.
And I was like, but I was I went there with you. How's that not gay? And he's like, OK, you're OK. Don't you don't need to get weird about it because I did get weird.
I was like, why? How can I do one thing and not the other? But I think I just practice and and letting go of the self hate of being by. Yeah, until until I was like, you should just be proud of it.
It feels good. Then do it. Like if you want to kiss a girl, what's the difference? Because I always thought when you kiss a girl, if you take the girl out of it, you look pretty gay.
You know, eyes are closed and stuff. You look super gay. Yeah, like, especially when when men come. The look you guys get on your faces like right before you bust or like right as you're busting.
Yeah. Like as a woman, it is like the most hilarious moment. Like the one time you see a guy actually like kind of like drop the shit. Oh, wow.
And like, so for me, that's actually my favorite woman in sex is I like to turn and look back. I like to see that look on his face because he just looks so helpless. And I'm like, how does it feel? Wow.
And I think it's like, see, I feel like that was me. But now I think I have a gay face the whole time. I don't care anymore. I just want it all to happen.
Yeah. So I don't care what I look like. I don't care what you look like. I just want it all to.
I mean, you know, I mean, I mean, the zone. I don't think about nothing. That's fantastic. I took a lot of work.
Yeah, because I like a lot of a lot of dicks to get past that. Like a lot of guys that I've been with, I haven't been with a lot of guys, actually, but like, my biggest complaint used to be like, you're so quiet during sex. Like it's it's horny for me to hear you grunting and making noises, like reassuring me that you're feeling like that is that's part of the turn on. And a lot of them, I don't know.
Like I just like, I'm supposed to be stoic, you know, and I was like, we're we're having we're doing the grown up. I'm way louder now. I'm trying not to both people, or for all people, I should say. Yeah.
So you're you're an adult, you know, who retires and then like you're very smart and like you do a lot of stuff, not just comedy, but you like wrote scripts and I mean, your part I didn't even I followed you on TikTok. And even forgot you're even on the show. I was just like, man, this chicken is like has a lot of information and a lot of entertaining stuff. Oh, thank you.
Like without thinking you were ever coming back on here. I was just like, wow, I think I've met you before. I swear I hit my head that much. I know I know you and then when you're texting your numbers in my phone, I definitely know her because it's in my phone.
Yeah. But I'm just more of a I was a fan of your TikTok. I love that. I like do you have all these things about history because I'm going to school and I'm like, Oh, wow, cool.
I didn't know that. Yeah, I'm a huge history buff. So how you good in school? Yeah, I was pretty good.
What makes you go down the road of adult entertainment when so it's kind of like a coming of age story, but so I I grew up really poor, but it came from a family that had sort of like ambitions for me, you know, wanted me to do really well. And I was just always taught education, education, education, like we're poor. That's like the only way you're going to get out, especially because you're a girl. So it's like this was what's on the table.
So I really applied myself in school and everything. I was just very focused on like I just I have to get a scholarship like I have. There's no way I can pay for it by myself. Like so I was really focused in school, but it wasn't because I loved learning.
It was because I was like, this is survival. Like I have to get in and I have to do something. And when I got into college, I was like, I'm just a psychology and my mom was like, no, you need to major in English. You're a really good writer.
And I was an artist when I was a kid and like I was not encouraged and I know we're poor and I know it's hard, but like you have to like you have to be an artist. Like I don't want to watch you go through not having that. So I did that and then I got scholarships and grants and I got the school I went to paid for me to go to graduate school and create a writing poetry. Yeah.
But it was a free master's degree. So I was like, who am I to turn that down? Like I don't have a bunch going on. So I went, I was an ESL tutor.
I was a teaching associate. Like I was doing the thing you do in grad school and working on my thesis. And then I was like, I was ABT, all but thesis. That was like all I had left to do.
And it was one afternoon and it was late in the afternoon. So school was pretty much let out. And I was just walking down the hall of English department and you know, it's just doors on either side of the hallway and most of them are open to the teachers offices. And they're like these sort of they're not cubicles, but they're at least, you know, they're not huge expansive.
They're like these kind of cramped things and they're cramped in there with like all their books and filing cabinets and their computer shit. And they're just like in there like grading like just these stacks of papers that they've gotten from like, you know, these sections that are like 200 students, 300 students, right? So they have to go and as I was walking down the hall, it was like it was something out of a movie as I was walking on the hall and I'm peeking in each office. And these are all professors I really care about and I really respect and they're brilliant.
And I just realized like, Oh, this is your life. If you go down this path, like ultimately your day to day life is you're sitting alone in a cramped office, like grading student papers and then occasionally writing a paper yourself that only other people that are like highly trained in this very specific niche are ever even going to read, right? And that's the reality of what the job is, aside, because I was professor status. I came from dirt poor.
All I wanted was status. I just wanted it so badly. And so and then the movie, there's like the lecture and like in the movie, it was like like I don't move because I like walked down the hall and then I just like walked out of the building, got in my car and never came back. So I never finished all bit thesis.
So I have my masters, but it's ABT all but it's kind of useless. So it's like a cool thing I can say that I went and studied, but like I couldn't go get work with it unless I went and finished that part of it. But at this point, I mean, it's like whatever. But so I walked out and what I knew was that I had done my job.
I had been a very good student. I had bought in my degrees. I had that thing that my mom wanted, right? Like I had achieved that thing.
I had an education and I had no college debt because I had everything paid for through scholarships, grants, things like that. And I just went home and I was like, what do you want to do with your life? Right? Like I just knew and all I knew was not that.
I'm so intrigued as to how this adult entertainment pops in there from the rest of the show. So was there another like stepping stone before that? Yeah. So you modeled when you were young, right?
And you win. I was missing your high in 12. Well, I have to admit, I thought about it later and I was like, Oh, I think I was actually first runner up and it was regional. So I don't want people to think I'm trying to claim stolen valor.
But you were modeling when you were little. Yeah. So you were in a world of dudes eyeballing you at a very young age. Yeah.
I mean, I always had. Do you think I was healthy looking back? I just always got a lot of attention and I pretty. Yeah.
And I didn't like it. So I like it. So the first thing I did when I was like 14 or 15, I had this long curly, like red blonde hair and I cut it chin length and dyed it black. And like I just didn't want to be I were really heavy makeup, like golf stuff.
Like I just didn't want to be perceived sexually. And the men that tended to be doing it were men in their thirties and forties. And I'm like 12, 13, 14, like this wasn't like other kids. I didn't care if other kids thought I was attractive because that's who's supposed to do it right as your peers.
But the intention made me uncomfortable, but I knew it was there. Right. And I knew that it was kind of like this check that I could cash if I ever wanted to. And when I left school, I didn't know what I wanted to do.
But a friend of mine was like, you should model at the time I had like blue hair and a bunch of piercings that she was like, I hear that they pay money for, you know, suicide girls and there's other psych girls and maybe what you could do is do some modeling, get naked. And I'd already done like art modeling and stuff like that. So like I was always very comfortable being naked. I never had any judgments about it.
And she was like, maybe you could take that money. You could like backpack around your for a couple months and like figure out the fuck out, man. And so I submitted to God's girls and suicide girls. God's girls were just like a suicide girls competitor.
It was similar thing. And this is this is not like penetration or spreads. And this is like very tame, very artsy, a lot of it's not shot. Right.
Like, but just for context, like this is very soft core, like not adult yet. Like this is this is kind of like on the edge. It's like artsy modeling. It was pretty much like punk rock.
Yeah. Yeah. It's like how rebellious they're naked. Right.
And the photographer that was assigned to shoot me was in New York. And what I found out later is he had seen my submission photos and fell in love. And so even though I was supposed to be shot by an LA based photographer, he had asked for the gig and had paid for my plane ticket. I didn't know that.
So all I knew was that I was assigned to this New York guy and they're going to fly me out. Hey, Tully, your face looks really good today. Thank you for noticing. I did run my brand new Harry's razor over my face.
Shaving always makes me feel good, Michael. Why is that? Think I've got hair that comes out gray and it makes me feel like I'm going to die soon. Right.
So if I shave it off, I can conceal the lie that it's all over. Right. You can not have to face your imminent mortality. Yeah.
Thanks to Harry's razors. Real talk. You know why? Yeah.
No, I, you, you irritated you. I hated shading until this very morning when I look at this. You actually did. I did.
Why? I wasn't. I don't get bored. I was waiting for that.
Wait, check it out. You look at this bad boy. Yeah. But no, I can get a handlebar.
You look, this is a good look for you. Crazy. Huh? Thank you, Harry's.
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Get $13 starter set for just $3 at Harry's dot com slash Ellis. That's Harry's dot com slash Ellis for a $3 starter set. Madam and I like fell in love immediately. He was like six to half Filipino half.
How were you? Like huh? How old were you? I was like 29.
OK. And so anyway, like he shot me a bunch and then I started getting shot by all of these big photographers in New York. So like George Pitts and Ken Leeshenvalter and Keith major and like just a bunch of like guys that get tashing books. Like that kind of like high end, very whatever.
And while I was doing that, I got really tired of being poor because we're living in New York City and we were sort of like he was doing headshots. I was retouching and editing the photos. Like, you know, like we were hustling. We were doing the hustle that you do when you're like young and in love.
And I got scouted on Twitter. I had done I was friends with a performer named Jesse Lee who's a burning angel model and she'd been in a really bad car accident. She'd gotten a really bad brain injury and we decided to throw a fundraiser for her. So we got all of our photographer friends to donate prints and we started doing these pop-up shows at Little Bars in New York and Brooklyn.
Where people could pay 20 bucks and pull something off the wall and take it home. And people really loved it. I mean, she had another car crash recently. She might have.
I'm not in touch with her anymore. But so she did. She broke her jaw real bad. Oh, yeah.
I think I did see like a tiktok or an Instagram. Yeah, that I don't know that well, but to know that. Do you have to do this one's really bad. Like her faces changed and she has to have more surgeries to make it normal again.
And to know that she already had one. Yeah. And like this is like she had a like a brain injury, but it did so well. Then he did like another one in Los Angeles.
Yeah. And so at the Los Angeles when I met there were a bunch of porn people there. Yeah, it was LA. So all these people come out.
I met a bunch of people and I wasn't supposed to host it because at the time I was. I was had stage right issues and stuff, which is what took me so long to stand up. But there'd been this big snowstorm in New York. And so my boyfriend and my girlfriend were she was a burlesque dancer were stranded in New York.
And so they were like, listen, you just got to do it. And so it was like, I was terrified because I had to get a microphone and put my big book bands on and like sell some art. But luckily it was about Jesse. It wasn't about me.
So I was able to rally and kind of pull it out. But some people there were really impressed with me. And so later on social media, they triangulated with this director that directed like feminist porn stuff and they were like, you've got to you want to like meet this girl. Like she's pretty great.
And she slid into my dans and she was like, are you the same girl that's tweeting like the Nietzsche quotes or something? And I was like, yeah, she was like, so that's your picture. And I was like, yeah. And she was like, I'd like to write a movie around you and I get you paid.
And I'm trying to get you sent up as like a contract for the company I work for. And I just kind of looked at my boyfriend at the time and I was like, look, I'm so tired of being poor. And like, I really want to do something. A born movie.
Yeah, it would be like a girl girl film. Girl girl. And she was offering, I was getting way above the standard for girl girl for that. And so that's how I started.
And I honestly thought I would do like one movie, make some cash, and then we'd figure it out. And I just ended up being a pretty well received lesbian performer. Like that's a very unique kind of niche and they have a very, the audience is very particular about what they like. And you know, for turns out that for a lot of them, I was taking all the boxes they wanted, like tattoos, minimal makeup, no surgery, no, like fake anything.
Like that was very much kind of the brand of what they like. I'm curious when you say the audience for lesbian porn. Is that lesbians? No, right.
I mean, there are lesbians that watch lesbian porn, but the lesbian porn they watch is real lesbian porn that's directed by lesbians, stars, actual lesbians. And that's an even smaller niche down. But the majority of people that watch girl girl porn are men that don't want to see penises. They don't want to think about whether or not the girls being exploited or she's not having a good time where I think they feel like if they're watching girl girl, they can feel pretty assured that like the girls enjoying herself and she's not being like humiliated or degraded in any way.
So it tends to be appealing to a kind of person that might have some sort of hangups around boy girl stuff and just they're not able to let go of the idea that like, is she is she being trafficked? Like is she okay? Those guys, they just feel more comfortable if they can throw in a girl girl, see it and they just feel like everyone's having a good time. It's just girls having to sleep over, you know what I mean?
So inevitably they're offering you a lot of money to do guy girl, right? Cause that's kind of how it goes. I keep pushing you to. Yeah.
But I mean, you didn't do that. But I eventually did point girl like I was girl girl only from like 2011 to like 2015, I think. And then I did like a hand like maybe 10 scenes. And then I retired for a little bit because I was going through like mental health stuff.
And my girlfriend. Nothing to do with working in the industry. A little bit, but it was more I don't know how to explain it, but one day I woke up and had body dysmorphia. And that's the only way I can explain it.
It's like one day I was fine and totally okay being naked, totally loved the way I looked. And then it just felt like one day I woke up and I felt like I looked disgusting. I looked fat. I looked gross.
I looked bad and it would really it was affecting my performances. Like I just got really closed off and I would be on set. I would feel just so insecure and I'd get on set. And I think that everyone was looking at me thinking like, why has she been hired?
Like she's so ugly. She's so fat, you know, I don't know. I don't know like where it came from, but man, it came on like, like it's like day and night and one day I was driving to set and I started having a panic attack on the freeway. And I called my girlfriend and I said, I'm really having a panic touch.
Like pull over, just pull over and tell me where you're at. And then, you know, her and her friend drove and got me. And I couldn't explain what had happened. And then it was like the next day it wasn't even for work.
I was trying to get dressed for a party we were going to. And I couldn't fit the pants the way I wanted to. And I just started to have like a meltdown. And I was like, sobbing.
And it was the first time that my girlfriend saw, saw me going through that. And she was like, I don't know what's going on, but like you've got to take a break from the industry. Like I don't feel comfortable letting you go off to work and be like, so vulnerable when you're in the emotional state. Like, and so I retired.
I retired for a bit and became back. Well, me and her broke up and we had been living on her paycheck and my kind of occasional solo only fan stuff. And so I had to jump back into work. But this time when I jumped back into work, I was far more focused on leveraging myself into the next thing.
So I'd already been doing stand up. I started doing stand up in 2015. So I'd already been doing stand up. I'd gone on that kind of cross country tour with a wee ad-genine.
I opened for Mark Marin for big J.O. I was working a lot. I did like 200 sets in a year. I was really focused on just like, no, it's to the grind.
So I'm just going to get really fucking good at this thing. But when I went back, I was just like, I don't want to grow old in this industry in terms of like, I don't want this to be my career. I'm just not set out for it. There are people that this is their career and they're so good at it.
And that's what they should be doing. And they're entrepreneurs and they're millionaires right now. But I just was a lot more focused on like, you've got to leverage this to the next thing. And so I did go back to work and I saved all the money.
And I was just actively letting everyone know I was available for writing work for this for that. And then I got hit up by Mel Magazine, which is kind of, it was the editors from Details and GQ, I think, had gone together to create their own men's lifestyle magazine. But it was more for millennials and gen X. So it was a little more open about like queerness, sexuality, things like that.
There was like, so it allowed for that. And they wanted to have a sex work beat. And it was kind of, I'd never heard of a magazine having a beat just for sex work before, but I thought it was about time. It was kind of a response to how OnlyFans really mainstreamed adult entertainment.
It was 3 million creators signed up during the pandemic. That's 3 million brand new sex workers, right? So it was a pretty significant shift in the industry. And so I got that and then almost immediately a producer named Peter Berg slid into my DMs and asked if I wanted to write for TV.
And I had a pilot on deck. And so it was like a 30 minute scripted comedy series based on my life and sent it over. And he liked it. He dropped it a little bit.
And then he had a first look deal with a streaming service. And it sounded like NNDS, so I don't know how much I can really say, but they bought it. We went into development. I mean, it happens as soon as I made the decision to retire from adult and be like, okay, I am doing something else.
It was like immediately. I think Talyone did something to show for an important announcement. Yeah. I have a phone case and charge it from Nomad Goods.
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This is like, what's that guy Sam, the guy who plays Sam Elliott, the guy who plays the cowboy and everything? The Sam Elliott's face of phone cases. I got a black case because I'm like John Wick and I got a black pen. I could stab you.
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So there was a second there where you were like, scared, terrified, I'm still terrified. But I'm terrified in a different way. I was sitting in a dinner at a fancy Beverly Hills place. I mean, the kind of place that has special private rooms and white tablecloths and all that stuff.
And I grew up, we didn't have running water or we used an outhouse until I was 12 years old, like dirt poor. Literally in the frisbee? Yeah. Wow.
It's a lot of it is still very rural, farmland and things like that. And it's more developed now. It was in really kind of undeveloped area. And my adoptive father had built his own house on the property and built all these other things.
And it was kind of weird off the grid sort of hippie kind of persona. So there was just like, we cooked everything and heated all the water on a stove. There was sort of like, it wasn't quite an outhouse because there wasn't actual toilet, but it didn't flush. It was like, it would have been set up as an outhouse that you had to kind of leave the house in the middle of the night.
It would go like a scary showers in the morning. There was a sprinkler attachment on like a cold water hose. And I would just get hosed off in the morning. So I mean, to grow up from that and then be sitting in a room in Beverly Hills with executives that are in charge of millions and millions of dollars, I was terrifying because I didn't know how to behave.
And I really only had Peter to kind of, Peter is such a good mentor. He's so amazing. My gratitude for him is unparalleled. He's just gold.
And he was so good. He was just right there for me holding my hand through the whole thing and encouraging me and just giving me little tips and tricks and things to do. And I told him I wanted his job. And so he would sit there and tell me exactly what his strategy was.
And this is how I'm doing it. And this is why I'm dealing with this person. And this is why he was so open with that. And so yeah, but it was really scary, but it was awesome.
And I thought they bought, they ended up, I opened from Mark and they said they were going to come to the show and I was like, they're not coming to the show, they're executives. And then I got done with my set and I went and sat down and the audience and I turned to my left and they were sitting right there. And I was like, oh my God, you guys came and they're like, yeah, you were fantastic. Oh my God.
And I get just blew my mind. And I felt every step of the process, I made sure to try to remember it and enjoy it because every step of the process, I was like, this could end at any minute. This could be as far as it goes. And so I want to make sure I'm having fun the whole time.
But I got to do a table read with Peter Berg reading the part of my character as a Mark and came in and read the part of some of the other characters. There was so many really amazing things that happened that I'm just so grateful for. But I guess that's how I went from porn to... So what happens, how do you decide to do all this TikTok history stuff?
I had had a podcast for about three years ago. What was that about? It was a history podcast. It's the same podcast.
It's called He'll Repute. And it tends to focus on women with bad reputations and delving into that because I just felt like it was an underserved market. And when I've been writing books and stuff like that, I just had a passion for history. I kept finding out about really interesting women that I just never heard of that had done really baller shit.
And I was like, man, I want more hoes to know these stories. Because especially with hoes, there's a lot of internalized hatred, internalized homophobia. There's a lot of stigma. And I wanted to create a show that could show other hoes.
You come from a long line of bad bitches. They have come before you. They have changed the law. Lizzy Lape helped create women's property rights during divorce.
She owned a chain of brothels. There are just so many women that lived on the edge or were stigmatized in some way. That really did groundbreaking stuff. And so I wanted a way to present that to other hoes.
And the show has become more popular despite my original intention being this very narrow audience. Because it turns out that more than just hoes are really interested in this stuff. And I just got an email today from a dude that was like, these were your best and funniest lines in the story about head of the mark. When you said that the hardest job in the world is pretending to find a man interesting.
That fucking hurt. And I was like, it was just so cute. I'm like, oh my gosh, oh boy, oh boy, he's listening to the show. And he's enjoying it.
And he's not feeling alienated. But so when the pandemic happened that the show got paused and my co-host at the time was a girl named Susie Cute James who had a column at San Francisco Chronicle. The hornet store was in the industry, was very openly a sex worker, an escort. She was great.