From Stonewall to SEE-through

When it comes to discussing difficult topics, we're taught from a young age to avoid those that hold a lot of power and passion for us at all costs. Polarizing topics like race, politics, religion...All this avoiding has left us with a significant gap in the skills we need to really share this human experience and SEE each other. Often when these topics come up we stonewall in defense to a perceived threat. We avoid it because we don’t know HOW to do it in a way that is respectful, loving, kind and productive.  So how do we do that? How do we get beyond ourselves? How do we SEE more than what’s on the surface? How do we SEE through the hurt, the anger, the disagreement, the misunderstanding of others and ourselves? How do we SEE through perhaps our own past, our own mistakes, our own misjudgments, misunderstandings, and way of thinking? How do we stop being defensive and start being See-through? In episode 4, I introduced a concept, an acronym, that I call SEE and it is a sixth sense that we can develop to train ourselves to really see each other. ü  Stop.  Pause. Take a breath, a beat, a moment, before you do or say something impatient or hurtful, take a moment to consider.ü  Evaluate: Ask questions. Be curious. Could there be more than what I see on the surface? Could I be wrong?ü  Empathize: Find a way in to the feeling. Figure out an angle to put yourself in their shoes. Commit to understand and sharing the feelings rather than dismissing them.Let's move ourselves from Stonewall to SEE-through.Send us Fan MailGet your copy of Loving Lavender Finch anywhere books are sold. Visit www.kellybargabos.com to listen to all past episodes and/or connect with Kelly.