God fucking damn it. The universe doesn't want us to talk about werewolves. Yeah. Okay. Hello, patrons. Guess what? They, and you know who I'm talking about. They, which I guess is the literati, they don't want the word getting out. We know the truth about werewolves. And that's what we're here today to tell you about. Actually, I kind of think Samantha cracked the code. When should we get into that part? At the end?
my theory about what a werewolf is i mean we could save it it could be like we could build some tension in this episode since i feel like there's gonna be kind of fuck all to talk about we can like build some tension like i just so you know dear patrons i solved the mystery of werewolves sitting on my couch last night i honestly think samantha solved the mystery and when i saw the evidence i was like holy shit that explains everything so you know not to brag but i know samantha and she just figured out what werewolves are so it's kind of cool uh for this month we watched a special called the bray road beast which is i find it slightly annoying because everybody calls this the beast of bray road okay including you i was so confused i went on a wild goose chase trying to find this documentary there is a documentary well i think it's an episode of a Probably some Discovery Channel bullshit. Called The Beast of Bray Road. But the clip on YouTube is only three minutes long. Which is about as long as you need to talk about this. But anyway. She was like, I'm glad let's pick this. It's only three minutes. Excellent. And I was like, it's over an hour. I eventually found it on Amazon. No, it's actually called The Bray Road Beast. Because I'm sure they wanted to copyright it and they couldn't or something. Well, that woman's book is The Beast of Bray Road. Yeah. Maybe there was an issue there. Copyright titles, but maybe it's like a trademark thing. What? I'm not a lawyer. I don't know.
So anyway, that's what we're talking about this month. And this is a short documentary, though it could be shorter, frankly, made by Small Town Monsters, which is the people that brought us that wonderful Mothman of Point Pleasant documentary that like 20 minutes in, I was like, oh, so Mothman's real. That documentary convinced us that Mothman is real. So we had high hopes for werewolves, honestly. But they also made, we watched that one that's about like stuff that flies in Illinois. Oh, they did that one too? Yeah. Just big birds people saw in Illinois? Yeah. That one was very disappointing because there's like in the graphic on...
on Amazon or whatever, there's a fucking pterodactyl in that picture. And I was like, there's people that saw a pterodactyl. I want to hear about this. And then it turned out, yeah, it was just a bunch of people who saw big birds, like slightly bigger than average birds was most of it. And there was a tiny bit about Mothman. It was just like shit that flies somehow all in Illinois. There was that one kid that got picked up, but I think that was just like a condor got, you know, went in the wrong direction and got real hungry. Saw a kid. I don't know. It was not a pterodactyl though. It didn't do anything like otherworldly. It just picked up a kid and dropped it.
That's terrifying, but it's not like it vanished into thin air or transformed into something else or like shot fire out of its eyes. Like it just was a big bird. Like that can be explained by, I don't know, the existence of birds. What? Birds exist. But I like the idea that there are werewolves in Wisconsin. Wisconsin is, you know, close by. It would be cool if Samantha and I could go on like a, maybe not a werewolf hunt. Like I don't want to kill a werewolf, but like a werewolf sightseeing expedition or something.
A werewolf, like, bird watch. Would your mom want to come with us? Or would that ruin the magic? I don't know. I was watching this going, like, this doesn't seem very sexy at all. Werewolf mowing down on some roadkill on his own? Not sexy. Also, I guess, spoiler, this werewolf that people are seeing on Bray Road, which is in Wisconsin, like, the very middle of Wisconsin, no one sees it, like, as it transforms into a human or anything. It's just, like, a big wolf. When is the werewolf a wolf? Is it on the full moon? Or is the werewolf a human on a full moon?
No. So a werewolf, as I understand it, and it turns out there's a lot more to this lore than I ever knew about like alphas and betas and shit. But that's why I'm confused. I want to make sure I get this right. We don't want to give anyone misinformation about werewolves. The most like basic, like a cartoon, like a Scooby-Doo that had a werewolf in it is that a human got bit or scratched by a werewolf. And then when the moon is full, they become a werewolf too. And the part of it, that story is like, you don't remember what you do as a werewolf. Like you're, you're animal. And so you might kill people, you might eat people, whatever. And then you would transform back into a human when the moon was no longer full. And you'd be like, oh shit.
What have I done? Did I miss the part of the documentary where people saw this werewolf during Full Moons? No, there was absolutely no mention of Full Moons at all. Okay. And I mean, to be fair, there's not that much use of the word werewolf. That woman just keeps going, well, I don't think it's a werewolf. But other than, it's not like anyone's like, I saw it and I'd say 100% it's a werewolf. But I am disappointed. I guess that's my point. Yeah, this seems like not a werewolf, but we'll get there. I like the idea. Like, oh.
werewolf in Wisconsin like that's that's fine yeah but this documentary is actually like not really that fun not really I was not super impressed. Okay. Plus the, in the plus category, the last documentary that I watched for Patreon, the Bigfoot alien connection revealed not organized at all. Just like going in a million directions. Someone never taught that kid how to write an outline before you write a paper. You know what I mean? Like, wow, where's your thesis? And the thesis I guess is Bigfoot and aliens are the same, but it went in a lot of directions all at once. I'm not certain.
put forward any evidence that proved that thesis no it was not it was not proven to me and also i just feel like the structure of that thing was just chaos this this thing is very tightly structured with chapters yeah with chapters but also i was after a while i was like okay this is a little much it's a little just filler there's a lot of filler but okay let's get started we get a quote about you know how something wicked with this way comes well it does and it's a werewolf so We get an opening shot of like a spooky study, like a spooky desk that has a fairy tale like grimoire that says the Bay Road Beast on it. And it opens up and it tells you a little animated story. And this is the story. The ancient Greeks told a tale of Lycan of Arcadia, a cruel king and father of many children, a man with no time for authority figures and contempt for the gods. So it was that one night in order to test the omnipotence of the great Zeus, he invited him to dinner and served him a meal he would never forget, the boiled flesh of his youngest son.
Nicotamas? Sure. But Zeus, of course, was all-knowing and straightaway restored the dead child's life. And in his revenge, Zeus cursed Lycan, damning him to wander the earth as a savage beast, the Lycan, a wolf. So there you go.
I wish they drew parallels to this. I don't know why this isn't here other than to bring some drama at the beginning. Because it has nothing to do with the actual story. It really has nothing to do with the actual story. Later on, we'll get to it, but they sort of talk about different cultures having werewolf myths. I don't really know why this one is singled out to be at the beginning, except they thought it was cool, I guess. If you were like, tell me a werewolf myth, no one's going to be like, well, Zeus. Tell me a scary story. You won't believe what Zeus has been up to.
Yeah, I mean, I guess you get the word lichen. I don't know. Anyway, so that's what we open with for a little drama before we get to chapter one, A Quiet Place to Live, which is just literally telling you about the middle of nowhere, Wisconsin. What's this author's name? I forgot to write it. Linda Godfrey. Linda Godfrey tells us that this town doesn't look like a place that would harbor a werewolf. And I was kind of like, bitch, what does? Which also, like, yes, it does. Like, all of those movies, I guess I've watched a couple of movies about werewolves that have werewolves, but they're always in small towns. Creepy shit always happens in small towns in movies. Always.
You know where I wouldn't expect to see a werewolf? Like Dallas. Like somewhere like really sprawly and urban. Like you're driving down a like... you know just like a concrete boulevard to pull off at a tesco a werewolf steps out of the shadows yeah no tesco what am i talking about a gas station whatever yeah and there's just like a werewolf like that would be weird i wouldn't see that but if i'm like oh you're in this quaint town and it does get foggy this time of year it's like yeah bitch of course i expect to see a werewolf what are you talking about that's where you would see a werewolf absolutely yeah i'm not really sure what she's talking about but she says some strange things throughout so this won't be the last time she is I'm going to say an odd duck. You don't say. Yeah. Linda is the author of The Beast of Bay Road. So we hear from her a lot because she not only coined the phrase, but she also compiled a lot of people's werewolf stories for her book, which I'm not going to buy because honestly, this documentary got kind of boring and I just can't imagine reading a whole book about it. I think we know everything that happens in the book. I can't imagine they left anything out.
No, it'll just be a bunch of people saying, I saw a very large wolf from the road. And you go, okay. Okay, in rural Wisconsin. Really? This was her second book. Her first book was a true crime thing from the 20s that someone got poisoned. So we're talking about the small town of Elkhorn, which has a population of about 10,000 people. It's like exactly in the middle of Wisconsin. It's kind of conservative. And yeah, it doesn't look like the type of place to harbor a werewolf.
whatever that means there's also they keep referring to the fact that there's a lot of hauntings in the area but i sort of feel like that's true literally anywhere yeah everywhere thinks they have a lot of hauntings i'm not sure she says something about like the topography of it's just flat i don't know what that has to do maybe it has to do with the rivers we've talked about how rivers uh oh yeah she doesn't mention that she mentioned something about native americans a lot okay yeah so she this is something i wrote down that she says a long time and special native american presence So this is emphasized in kind of a surprise, surprise. It's problematic. I feel like maybe I harp on this too much when we're watching these things, but it's also very grating that somehow a lot of this paranormal stuff gets racist. And you're sort of like, but you're not even talking about people. You're talking about a werewolf. You're talking about a wolf, and yet you found the time to get racist about it. They keep bringing in quote-unquote Native American legends without being specific about anything. And it's just a way to make it exotic or something. Yeah.
And if there are relevant legends from this area, it would be super nice to hear from people that that's like a part of their culture and not Linda. Well, this, I mean, this comes out more than once in the documentary, but at some point when they're talking about Linda and she's like, oh, I spoke to some Native Americans and they told me this. And I was like, well, it'd be great to hear from them. Right. Yeah. She says things like she, you're just paraphrasing like that you talked, who did you talk to? Like, and are they speaking for everybody? Like what? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. It's probably the least.
We also hear a few times from Jay Bacochin. That can't be it. Is this the animal control guy? No, this is the paranormal investigator. And he tells us that Wisconsin is one of the hottest states for paranormal activity and that there's lots of UFO sightings. Is that true? I have no idea. I feel like New Mexico. When I think of paranormal sightings, I don't think of Wisconsin. No, but I think these small town monster documentaries really like playing up that there's stuff happening in the Midwest. I suppose that's true. Bigfoot. Don't just fly over us. Come look for a werewolf.
These are, okay, this is the list of tall tales that apparently applies to, and they were just sort of talking about all of Wisconsin, I think. But there are hair-covered elves in the north of the state. I want to know more about those. Yeah, where is the documentary that? Haunted abandoned buildings. Whatever, those are a dime a dozen. A monster in Lake Winnebago. Samantha, sounds like you and I need to go check that out. Sounds like it. Phantoms on Highway 12. Encounters with ape-like creatures dating back to the mid-1800s. Can we not say Bigfoot?
no that's a pejorative how many times do i have to tell you sorry wood apes oh my god i was at this i was down the other day and i was like well i'm gonna stop by this vintage store just like kind of you know get a little boost get some some serotonin hits and uh they had like a poster rack and there was just a giant poser of roblo's face it was like from from the 80s so like a young roblo's face for like 12 and i was like man i bet i bet the five would want me to get this does 12 seem like a lot for that sorry roblo I think no. I'm picturing a pretty small poster, like with a large Rob Lowe's face. It wasn't like a Tiger Beat pullout. It was like a poster you would put on like a door. All right. Well, 12 bucks. And I was like, man, I bet the five would want me to get this. But also, where would I hang up a just giant poster of Rob Lowe's face? I'm imagining you walking through the door. Matt goes, hey, how's the antique store? What'd you find? Anything good? You just unravel this Rob Lowe face. You know what? He would not be surprised at all. And if I was like still a teenager, I absolutely would have bought it. And I would have thought it was funny. For some reason, I can't even really articulate it.
Just so you guys know, I didn't buy it. I wish we were talking about low files right now. I know. I mean, always. Okay. So here's other things that are in Wisconsin. These ape-like creatures that you should not call Bigfoots, Samantha. A handful of cults. I love how they put cults in here. I don't understand how that fits with anything other than they try and make it demonic for some reason. A handful of cults. I was like, is there a state in the Union that hasn't had a handful of cults? That's not unique to Wisconsin. I also love that way of quantifying. A handful of cults. A sprinkle of cults here, a handful of cults there.
I got this stack of used books handed down to me recently, and one of them had a bookmark left in it from this occult store in London, which is just so random. But the slogan of it said, probably the best selection of crystals in London. And I was like, that's so not American, where we would have been like, the absolute best. Even if it was shitty, it would be like, best store in town. And this is like, probably the best selection of crystals. I really appreciate that.
probably this is we've had a handful of cults satanic murders and then they refer to the slender man stabbing i was like okay that's an actual event that has nothing to do with anything first of all that was real it was real that's two pre-teen uh girls with some mental illness that's a living person that literally got stabbed in that you know it's situation almost dies oh my god okay that's the end of chapter one that's just a little thing to tell you what we're talking about which is the town of elkhorn oh did you tell us how elkhorn got its name No, because it's boring. But why don't you tell us? These two guys sitting in their kitchen tell us that Elkhorn got its name because someone, I don't know when, coming back from the West, saw an Elkhorn in a tree. There's not elks here. There's literally one time one guy saw one Elkhorn and that became the name of their town. That's it. That's the whole story. Someone saw an Elkhorn in a tree. That is how boring this place is. So keep that in mind. That took up a whole five minutes of this documentary telling us how Elkhorn got its name. Someone saw an Elkhorn in a tree.
Chapter two is a road called Bray. Okay, this is the whole thing. Bray Road is just outside of town, bordered by farmland. It's about four miles long. It was named for the Bray family who moved there in the late 1890s and had a farm. Real disappointments didn't have anything to do with donkeys, gotta say. I mean, yeah, maybe the family name is related to donkeys, but...
I'm sorry. How is Elfie? Elfie's cuter than ever. Show mascot. Elfie, mascot of the show, mini donkey. It's cute as ever. It's fat as ever. Eating all the treats that all the neighbors stop and give them. Now that it's summer, people are out walking and I swear to God they bring treats with them on their walks to give the donkey. That's amazing. Good for him. I mean, yeah.
batting those eyelashes to get those treats uh just a warning if you were planning to drive out to Elkhorn and go to Bray Road yourself you can drive up and down the road but all that land is owned by farmers it's private and they'll probably just shoot you if you're like wandering around out there I don't think they take kindly to trespassing so I don't think so Linda wants us to know that this road was once a trail used by Native Americans and I was kind of like yes Linda like all roads that's like how roads got started They weren't always for cars. Yeah. It was like the people that were here first would like, you know, walk to where there was water and useful stuff. And then people got horses and then they got cars. Oh my God. So I was like, Linda, shut up. We are like 10 minutes in this thing. You're already telling Linda to shut up. It's not a good sign. Well, well, she should a little more. Yeah. How racist do you think that book is? I can't imagine. Think about it. All right. So now we're on to chapter three, the werewolf file.
Okay. In December of 1991, it came to Linda's attention while she was working as a reporter for the local paper that there were a couple werewolf sightings in her hometown of Elkhorn. And that's when we meet this county animal welfare officer, John Fredrickson. John is an interesting dude because he looks like the most average Wisconsin dad guy, but is clearly, after you hear him talk for a bit, quite strange. He's a little strange. He kind of started this whole werewolf thing. This is kind of his fault.
This is his fault. And again, I think Samantha solved this in like two seconds of Googling. So I'm kind of not sure what his problem is. I realized there wasn't Google in 91, but also he's the county welfare officer. So kind of what his job is, if it's like, I don't know, you suspected your neighbor of animal hoarding or animal abuse, you would call this guy. He's the guy that like enforces laws that apply in the county for animal welfare. But people kept calling him about werewolves.
And he eventually connected with Linda about it. And he literally had a like manila file folder marked werewolf. And I don't think John was expecting Linda to see that folder and take it the way that she did. This is what was funny to me watching this documentary is I'm like, Linda calls him a government official. She's like, this government official had a file called werewolf. And I was like, he's just a county government employee who just wrote something on a file. Of course, it's funny. Of course, he wrote werewolf on his manila envelope. He's just a guy writing on a manila envelope. This isn't a conspiracy.
But she's got a file and was like, this is a news story. We got werewolves. We've got a county official with a file marked werewolf. That's new. It's just a manila envelope where he wrote down people who called him and saw a big dog and thought it was something strange. Like, he had to put something on it. Should he put, like, dog man or... Weird dog. Weird wolf thing. Like... It's not an official document. It's just a manila envelope. And he wrote werewolf on it. But it's kind of set this whole thing in motion. The werewolf file. I mean... Like...
yeah also just john's just a little bit weird yeah yeah so of course again of course he wrote werewolf on that folder and linda is taking it like very sincerely in a way that is not really appropriate so we get we hear some of now we hear about some people's sightings if one is that a large creature jumped out in front of their car okay they're all like that none of them are very interesting so he had received calls from people saying that they saw something but they didn't know what it was but if they had to describe it the best way would be a werewolf And the reason for that is because they were seeing something that had the head of a wolf or maybe a German Shepherd, but it was very large. And also sometimes it would stand or run on its hind legs. And people described almost humanoid hands with claws, that it's taller than any person, that it had a long snout, that its legs were bent kind of like a dog, that it was ferocious. People describe this thing as anywhere from five to seven feet tall, depending on who you're talking to, which is a big range. Linda was like, it's very consistent. Everyone says five to seven feet tall. And you're like, that actually kind of makes a big difference, Linda. Yeah. Linda.
OK, so one story is that a mother was walking down the street with her children and a deer runs across the road. And then behind it is being chased by a large creature that's on its hind legs. So Linda would go and interview these witnesses that had made reports to John. And while she couldn't confirm their stories, she didn't think their witnesses were credible. These weren't people that she thought, I don't know, were mentally ill or just trying to get attention for some reason. She spoke with them and were like, yeah, they really saw something. And they don't want like no one of these people really wanted to go. I saw a werewolf. They were like, look, I saw something. It scared the bejesus out of me. If I had to call it something, I guess I would call it a werewolf. Right. It looks like a dog, but it's on two legs. Yeah.
Okay. Now we get to chapter four, Emergence of a Beast. I don't know who made these chapter names. Do you think they coincide with Linda's book? I mean, we'll never know because we're not going to read it. No, don't know. Don't care. No, I'm assuming the director or the editor did, but...
also emergence of a beast does sound like something linda would write so all right we got this story reenacted for us but i don't find it credible because of the dates so on halloween night 1991 doris gibson had what would become the first publicly recorded sighting of the beast of bray road her story led to a lash reports from around the county she was a senior in high school she was driving down the road and she heard a muffled thump And she was worried that she had run over an animal. So she pulled over and she got out and stopped. And what she saw was something very large that started running towards her. So she jumps back into her car and whatever it was, scraped the trunk of her car as she drove off. Okay. The reenactment of this particular sighting is legitimately scary. This documentary is bizarre because the reenactments are so wildly different from scene to scene. This one, actually scary. Well done. Kind of made my heart jump a little bit. And then later in the documentary, we have some of the silliest CGI I have ever seen in my life. And we watch Unsolved Mysteries for this podcast.
some of them are animated some of them are acted out the ones that are animated are not always in the same style which is weird and different from the mothman one which had very creepy consistent animations for the stories in that documentary this one is a little bit yeah more all over the place um i mean okay look no offense to doris but it's fucking halloween like if there was going to be a day where someone would be dressed up like a werewolf and pranking you i wonder if that day would be halloween night just like okay Okay, whatever. So we also hear from Milwaukee teen Tom Pritchard, which this is shown on like an old TV that's playing in a field. I don't understand. This is what I'm talking about with a weird reenactment. This isn't a reenactment. It's just like a stylistic choice. I don't really understand this at all. It's creepy. I guess it kind of makes you feel like it's in the past. I guess. It's not even a real TV in a field though. It's like a CGI TV in a CGI field. It's very silly.
Yeah, it would have worked better if they had done it analog. But he says that they were driving home on a Saturday in late July or early August. It was extremely foggy with low visibility. He's like coming back from a wedding reception. He's driving a couple of friends in the car. And all of a sudden they begin to smell a foul odor. He's like a skunk. Okay. Has anyone ever driven through the country? It's not that unusual to have a skunk smell in your car. Yeah, I'm going to guess that that was probably a skunk. But then out of the fog, he sees a large hand sticking out towards the road.
And he, like, just a hand. And he describes it as hairy, whitish gray with black streaks. And it reached out and scratched his car. That is creepy. I will give him that. It's creepy. It's creepy. He says that not a day goes by that he doesn't think about it because it scared the hell out of him. Well, it sounds scary. Not sure it sounds like a werewolf, but...
Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what that is. Okay. Now we hear from Lori Andresi who was referred to earlier, but like nobody explained who that was or why they were talking about her, which is a poor editing choice. But we, her story that she was driving home from the bar that she managed when she noticed something in a ditch by the side of the road. And that something was crouched down by the side of the road, eating roadkill. And then like looked up at her like, she then went to do research at the library and looked at a bunch of wolf photos and none of them looked right. So she went, this is what started the werewolf file. She went and talked to John, the County animal guy. And apparently.
okay i hate this i hate this while they were talking books started to fly off the shelves yeah i don't know what to do with that information I think that's totally unrelated. Because it's like magic, they're not supposed to be talking about it or something. Like it's cursed. This is the part where I was like, okay, I think this werewolf thing is a little bit silly. But I do think these people legitimately saw something. Because if you live in rural Wisconsin, it's not that unusual to see some animal eating roguet on the side of the road. It's not going to freak you out. It's not going to cause you to the next day go to the fucking library and start doing research on what you saw. Or then go talk to the animal control guy. So at this point in the documentary, I really was like, okay, these people are seeing something strange.
I agree. I don't think there's really any, we'll hear a few more stories from people. And other than this book flying thing, none of it sounds paranormal. Like it just sounds like it's an animal, but I do buy that. This is a lot of people that come forward to say this and a lot of them get like mocked. So there's really like no, I don't know what advantage there would be to lying about it. And people seem like they're freaked out. So, and yeah, and I'm assuming people in this area have seen wolves and coyotes and all sorts of shit. So I do think it's something and it's odd. I just don't know that it's like from another realm.
But now we're to chapter five, From the Shadows. So Linda was also the, like, paper's cartoonist at the time. Of course she was. And a drawing of a werewolf ran in the paper that she made, and that generated a lot of interest, according to Linda. The paper thought... The paper thought that the interest... Well, I didn't independently research that. I mean, we've seen these drawings, so... Yeah, and you know what? They're fine. They're like something that would be in your high school paper. They're like, eh, okay, that's a werewolf. Sure.
You bought a pen. You put it to paper. I see a werewolf. So the paper thought the interest would die out after a couple weeks of local jokes, but actually the story grew bigger and bigger. And then they referred to the local PD making silver bullets, and I'm not sure if that was a joke or not. Did they actually spend- Did they show a stock image of a silver bullet? I don't know. Maybe. Did they spend like- Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me, but-
Police departments are so overfunded. They're like, yes, we should make some silver bullets. And then that actually happened. As a joke, because people are seeing werewolves. What's funny to me is this paper thought that this would die out. What other exciting thing has happened in this town that is more interesting than people are seeing a werewolf? Yeah, what has happened here ever? As someone who lives in a semi-rural kind of small town, I can tell you if everyone started seeing werewolves, it would be on the front page of the paper for weeks.
Okay, I'm from the suburbs of Chicago. And growing up, when I was in high school, this guy like burnt down a church in my town and a couple other houses. And every time I'm back in town, guess what we talk about? That time the guy burned down a church. That was 20-some years ago now. And you know what? That's going to be true for the rest of my life. Because what else is going on? Right? They're like, yeah, people will go back to talking about who has the largest squash this year. It's a county fair. Okay. So witnesses began to wish that they hadn't come forward because people were making jokes about them.
We hear from Scott Bray. He says he saw a German shepherd-like beast in his backyard and that it was very muscular. So maybe that's where the romance part comes in. Very muscular. I wrote that down with an explanation point. Very muscular. Someone named Russell Grass guest also saw a creature on Bray Road walking briefly on two legs before dropping to all fours. Another sighting occurred in broad daylight of the beast chasing a deer. It's like werewolves do. Yeah. Yeah, also. Do werewolves chase deer? I'm not really sure what werewolves do. I think they accidentally eat humans and then feel really bad about it.
That's my impression. Okay. So now this goes off the rails a little bit more. Oh my God, Samantha. Hold on one second. No, that's the beast. That's the beast of Bray Road. It's good for you. I'm going to let him out of this room before he makes more noise. Two seconds later, he wants to come back in, I'm sure. Well, that's what the beast of Bray Road is like. Just annoying. Yeah, that's why people can't stop talking about it. They're so annoyed. Okay, so this is when things go off the rails a little bit. We hear that there were some reports from decades earlier. One is from adjacent Jefferson County. A newspaper editor called to say that his dad saw the beast in 1936.
here we go he at the time was a night watchman for a saint coletta institute a catholic institution for special needs care and they there are some holes in this story so there's just like stuff i wrote with a question mark like they had preserved ancient burial grounds question mark yeah one night he saw something standing on top of one of the mounds with a canine head very large and digging furiously I guess he just like ran off and it was there the next night and it stood up and it started speaking a proto-human language. Yup, you heard that right, folks. And it said Gadara, which is a place in the Bible where Jesus cast demons out of a man. And apparently the grave that the beast had been digging on was of a priest who had had problems after banishing a demon in an exorcism, which attached to him. Okay. And Linda calls this, it's just very, very strange happenings. Yeah, Linda, it is.
OK, so I think that's the least realistic story that we hear. It's also not quite in the same area. And it's also way, way earlier. So I kind of don't see it as connected to any of this. But someone did call Linda and say, hey, so my dad used to tell us this story because he's unwell. And that got like probably reported in the newspaper.
Wow. Chapter six. This is okay. Okay. At this point, the documentary is like, this is not going to be long enough. Most people just saw like a weird giant wolf eating a deer. I wonder if our listeners can guess what comes next. It's the devil comes to Elkhorn. That's right. It's satanic panic time from some people that have clearly never heard of satanic panic. So now my notes just say, what if the beast is actually the devil? Why would the devil just chase deer and eat roadkill? Yeah. In Elkhorn, Wisconsin. If I'm picturing the devil.
as like a man he's like he's like dining well right he has like fine foods and wines and it's like he's crouched over a dead raccoon on the side of Elkhorn Wisconsin I would think he was like a bacchanal like he's like you know gorging himself on on the finer things before an orgy not yeah eating in a dirty ditch just dead old gross yeah right possums but that I like that the narrator of this documentary says the connection to the dark arts may seem ludicrous to some Well, I'm some. I guess I'm some. But they're insistent that there were satanic cult meetings held in the wooded areas of the county. But when did this take place? Oh, in the 80s and 90s. Okay, well, 91.
That's the 90s. But that's also like just satanic panic times. I don't know. No, the devil came to Bray Road, Liz. That animal guy, John, says that he was called to the scene of several animal mutilations that he alone saw as ritualistic. And the police department were like, no, these are just dead animals. Like, we're in the middle of nowhere. Animals die and then bugs eat their eyeballs. It's not satanic. Yeah. Or their genitals or the fleshy parts. Yeah. Those go first. It's gross, but it's...
you know, the circle of life you heard lions tell you about. John was upset that one location was bulldozed, quote, before a thorough investigation could be completed, which just means that people were like, oh my God, John, these are just dead animals someone like ditched here. It's not Satanists, which I like that this police department was like, dude, no. He did receive an anonymous phone call tipping him off to cult activity. And I just wrote down, this man has never heard of satanic panic. Is that a little outside of his job description? Monitoring cults? Isn't he supposed to be like checking up on the guy down the street who doesn't quite feed his cows enough?
I mean, yes, but I'm sort of wondering if there's not enough for him to do. And he gets a little bored and is making his job kind of more interesting. I mean, I guess if there really was a cult and that cult was like ripping the heads off of chickens, then that would come under his job, assuming that's illegal. I guess I don't know what it is. You're right. The connection is the animal mutilations. Yes. So he would be looking into it for the animal abuse aspect. But I also think he's just trying to jazz up his life.
Like, I think he is having a bit of a midlife crisis. And it's like, no, no, I'm not just this, like, because his job sounds sad. Is he just going to go out to a bunch of, like, farms and, yeah, make sure people aren't kicking their dogs? Like, that's grim. This is way more interesting. Hunting down cults that are werewolves? Yeah, he's trying to be Mulder, and I'm not sure that it's really called for. But he claims that people would come from all over the world to take place in satanic ceremonies in the woods of nowhere, Wisconsin.
All right. Sure done. We now hear from David Floyd, an English professor who looks embarrassed to be in this documentary. And he tells us that the wolf is a symbol of greed and consumption. I mean, I guess. To who? I see it more of a symbol of like, I feel like in like Western European fairy tales, it's always like of predatory. It's really a symbol of like men, right? Yeah. You think of like Little Red Riding Hood going through the woods. Like what is the wolf? Isn't that like men? I would think so. Anyway, that they're chaotic. They threaten the status quo.
Okay, apparently that was the end of that chapter. Chapter seven, Hidden in Time. Okay, this is when we, again, I feel like this is just flopped. They're like, guess what? Other people have talked about werewolves. And they say through history, we find legends involving canine creatures. Are you telling me werewolves weren't invented in Elkhorn, Wisconsin? No, apparently not. The ancient Egypt had Anubis, a jackal-headed god of the dead, who decided who would pass over. Is Anubis a werewolf? No, is a jackal? Does that have anything to do with this? I mean, I guess having the body of a man and the head of a beast. Not a werewolf. It's a little bit of a stretch.
In the Bible, a king... Okay, good luck saying this, Liz. A king named... people that know their Bible. Is this Gilgamesh? No, we're not there yet. I'm not bad off on my Bible stories either. No, Birkenzer was exiled and cursed to live like a wolf. And then in North mythology, you get the saga of the Volzungs that I also said wrong, probably very, very wrong, which is a father and son who discovered these magical pelts that would transform the wearer into a wolf for 10 days. But eventually the wolf, I mean, I'm sorry, eventually the father turns on his own son because he can't like control himself as a wolf. So many of these stories are about loss of control or loss, and they say that they occur in nearly every culture, but that is not.
That might be true, but it's not demonstrated in this documentary where we really don't see literally anything from the Southern Hemisphere. But we do talk about Gilgamesh. Which is a man that brought up. Represents every culture. Yeah, you know, every culture, Gilgamesh. Which includes Nkadu, a wild hairy man who lived with the animals who Gilgamesh fights and he becomes his servant. I don't see how any of this is real. Other than they're like, they've just pulled out stories that have wolves in them. They do also mention skinwalkers, which...
again problematic the whole thing is oh yeah we haven't gotten to that in my notes but yes oh yeah i don't know my thoughts on this are that this is pointless and clearly filler and has very little to do with the actual story because the wolf on bray row the beast of bray row does basically nothing it runs around and eats some eats stuff and it stares at people yeah you know like animals do it doesn't chase anyone down i guess that one woman thinks it charged her car but like it scratched some guy's car maybe it doesn't do anything that any of these stories any of the wolf people in the stories do i mean no people have been hurt or certainly not killed um i think the implication is supposed to be there wouldn't be all these stories if they weren't real samantha yeah i think that's supposed to be the implication so we okay so linda tells us that even though she created the phrase beast of bray road for her article and it stuck around since then she wants to clarify that that does not mean there's only one thing on one road There's more than one road in Wisconsin. Yeah. Don't be as literal as Linda, people. And that she thinks it might be connected to the dog man in Michigan. Except I think the dog man is supposed to talk. Well, that one guy's dad heard a dog man talk. Someone talk. Not even in Elkhorn, but nearby. The only time we're hearing anything about the Beast of Bray Road talking is the story from the 30s where he talks in a proto-human language and says that Bible plays.
otherwise people are just like yeah he eats roadkill do you think it's a pterodactyl i wish but samantha where did all these myths originate from people were accused of being why would I know that you're like I'm not some folklore professor I don't know people were accused of being of being werewolves in the middle ages and much like witches would be executed and then a famous story of that is from Germany in 1589 the werewolf of Bedberg at least this is actually about a werewolf this time Peter Stubb had fangs okay and said to desire human blood he claimed to have killed 16 people and he was put on trial and found guilty There was also the beast of Jeu Vendant in France, where from June 1764 to June 1767 in southern France, there were reports of over 200 giant wolf attacks. Half of them were lethal, where victims were disemboweled, clothes were taken off, throats cut, people were beheaded. This is where the silver bullet thing comes from. It was apparently put down when it was shot with bullets made from a silver chalice that had been blessed by a priest. But that's all we hear about that. I don't know.
how much is known about those stories or how accurate they are then we get to what samantha was talking about that in the americas indigenous folklore involving werewolves the documentary the documentary tells us that it has been ignored by many paranormal researchers absolutely fucking has not which is not true and i also wrote not by the x-files though which has an episode about that okay so again i have not looked into how true these stories are and i'm always very skeptical about this in this paranormal documentaries but this is what they said they said that the mohawk believed that some tribe members could transform into other animals and they were known as the limican And then there is the Navajo story of shapeshifters, which were skinwalkers. And according to this English professor, who, again, this is like, doesn't seem like his area of expertise, says that that would happen as punishment to someone who would use their magic for evil instead of healing. I don't, man, I don't know. But I'm going to admit that I don't know, unlike these people. And yeah, this is when Linda tells us that she spoke to some Native Americans and they told her that they are not common animals, but rather very old creatures that existed before humans and came from the spirit world. And I was kind of like, where are the people you talk to, Linda? I would much rather hear from them. Yeah.
I always feel so bad talking about this stuff because I just don't, I just don't, I'm just ignorant and I don't know. Well, it is clearly not handled well in this documentary. Yeah, I just, more research would be helpful. Linda has no business talking about this and neither do we. Yeah, right. Yeah. Like, if this is actually relevant to the story, which seems like a stretch, then we should hear from those actual people, but didn't have time for that, I guess. Chapter eight, the beast is back. People and news outlets start showing up to drive down Bray Road and it was even a segment on Inside Edition, Samantha.
Then in 2003, Linda released her book, The Beast of Bray Road, tailing Wisconsin's werewolf. This created a wave of new sightings, almost all taking place at night. Also, at this point, they say the werewolf has a distinctive sneer. Okay. And we got a very poorly animated segment of the werewolf running alongside a car. Do you remember this one? Yeah, this is probably the silliest CGI that goes on so long.
It was supposedly the beast kept pace with a car that was traveling 55 miles an hour for a mile. If this is actually what the werewolf looks like, I don't know how it can stand upright because its hips do not look strong enough. They're so narrow. I certainly don't see how it could run 50 miles per hour on those legs. Maybe that's the paranormal part. It's like, damn, werewolf, you really skipped leg day. It's all torso. There's no, like, how do you hold up your body with those puny little legs? It's basically an upside down triangle.
Yeah. And we learned that people like more recent witnesses are less likely to come forward because they don't want to be ridiculed. And I have to kind of, I accept and believe that. Yes. But why? Why was that his own chapter? That's what I mean with the organization of this thing. Like, I appreciate that they put some effort into making their ideas coherent, but then it's like, what was that? What was the point of that? Well, now we go to chapter nine, dog slash man, where Linda says that basically everyone describes the same thing. Five to seven feet tall, head like a wolf or German shepherd. Could it be a mutation?
Then we learn that Linda does not, as Samantha pointed out, know how evolution works. And she says that maybe there's something about the area that makes it advantageous for it to stand on its hind legs. There's something about Elkhorn, Wisconsin that evolutionary produces werewolves. Well, it's just also like over what period of time, Linda? Like that doesn't happen quickly. That's a very long process. Linda has very specific ideas about how like the legs evolved and shit that make no sense. Yeah, I didn't write all that down. She was on and on. I'm like, Linda, none of this is how any of that works. I mean, I know you're all surprised to hear that I'm not a scientist and I did actually pretty poorly in my high school biology class. But yeah, this doesn't really ring true to me. I like that she's trying to come up with a like real world explanation. She's not discounting what people have seen. And she's going, okay, I don't think it's a werewolf. What is another explanation?
And then I was at this point, I was like, well, maybe it's just like a deformed wolf. Like, I don't know. Maybe there's a there's some type of wolf that can get really big. I don't know. Maybe it's just a wolf with fucked up legs. Maybe it's like Satan himself. I mean, OK, they literally now show us footprints in the snow. And I'm like, that is just a dog. Like that is just a big. Some dogs are really fucking big. Or an actual wolf. Or a half wolf, half dog. Sure. Someone's a big German shepherd. You know, when you see a dog and you go, oh, my God, that thing's the size of a horse. One of those dogs.
So now we hear a lot from this guy, Ricky Sanchez, who has frequently had beasts on his property. This is the new guy in town with a hayfield and a camera? Or is this someone else? No, this is someone else. This is a younger guy. He lives 100 miles north of Bray Road. He started seeing them in 2017. 100 miles north? How is this the beast of Bray Road if it's being seen 100 miles north of Bray Road? Samantha, he sees them all the time. They're on his property constantly. Sounds like the beast of this dude's property.
That was the title. The beast of this dude's property. Ricky Sanchez. He wants to tell us that. The beast of Ricky Sanchez. Okay. At this point, I was clearly getting like a little bit tired because my notes now just say like the beast walks towards him and then backs up. Probably a little bit more to it than that. I don't think there was. I don't think there was. During his first encounter, the beast walks towards him and then backs up. Often sees glowing eyes watching him. His neighbor saw a dog man watching him at 2 a.m. when he took out the trash. In another sighting, it quote, looked scared.
Are werewolves frightened? Is that a character? No! Aren't they ferocious monsters? Yes! They're not cowering in a ditch and running away? And just watching you with like huge eyes hoping you don't see them? No. It doesn't sound like werewolf behavior at all. Linda tells us that many people feel like the beast is trying to convey a message such as I am better than you. What a dick. Turns out this werewolf is just a big booch. What kind of fucking message is that?
Oh, my God. This is just what popped into my mind. But I'm picturing myself at one of my favorite Chinese restaurants opening up the fortune cookie. And inside it just says, I am better than you. Which if I ever got that, I would get that professionally framed. That would be so amazing. Like, huh, weird fortune. What you don't know is that the fortune cookie factory is staffed by werewolves. They're typing out the little fortunes. Liz, we have a message for you. Oh, let me see what this is. Oh, I am better than you.
Amazing. I think she had some other examples of messages like I'm gonna eat you. I don't know. They didn't seem like important things to convey to me. Fucking pretentious werewolves.
um okay so we get back to ricky who says that the beast is not paranormal that it's an animal that eats and breathes he doesn't think it's coming from like another dimension or something but he does think it might be capable of things that we think of as impossible why do you fucking explain that then ricky we just haven't discovered it yet all right but when it saw you it ran away yeah now we get to that old guy you were talking about lee hample i hate this guy Who's a farmer. He's new to the area. It seems like he didn't talk to anyone for years. Like, years. Well, he showed up at the door and wants them to work in his field. Yeah, he, like, literally moves into town. And I know that he's, like, not really ever going to see his neighbors. He has, like, a lot of land. But he literally, like, never introduces himself or anything until one day he needs to move some hay or some shit. And he just goes and is like, come help me. And I would be like, bitch, who are you? No. What? But, of course, farmers are nicer than me. So they, like, came and helped him. And that's when someone told him that the beast lived on his property and had been seen by many farmers. And, of course.
He thought the guy was pulling his leg, probably for him, like, not being neighborly and then demanding free work. But he decided, this guy told him that it was seen eating a raccoon. So he, like, tossed a dead raccoon in a hole. He was driving along, saw a dead raccoon, stopped his truck or whatever, grabbed it, and brought it back to his house for an experiment. Oh, you know it was a truck. You know it was, like, one of those really big pickup trucks? Like, unnecessarily big, but it doesn't actually, like, haul that much. It just has a, like, really big front. You might. Someone might know what I'm talking about. Okay.
it's all for show that's what i'm saying okay so yeah so this guy brings a dead raccoon home as you do and he threw him in a hole and then he later found that it was split open and its intestines are gone and i was like yeah something ate it i don't know if this is a city guy or what but he's continually surprised he's continually surprised that dead animals in a field get like don't just stay pristine like i don't know what he's expecting to happen to these things i feel like i'm a very city mouse person and Yet, I completely understand that if I threw a dead raccoon in a hole, an animal would eat it. He's later surprised he throws another. He does this multiple times. For years, he's bringing dead animals to his property and seeing what happens. He's surprised when they are moved, not even a long ways, like a few feet. Yeah, a coyote dragged it out of your hole and ate it.
Okay, and because this guy is so ridiculous, he sets up cameras to see what is happening to these animals, which is like the other animals are eating them. Except we don't even see that. He sets up this camera in his field for, I think he said four fucking years. And we see fuck all in these cameras. We see some birds. No. We see some mist. Samantha, he captured other unexplained phenomenon, such as strange lights. Not that they fucking showed in the documentary. Strange lights and red eyes. It said so. Eyes in the woods. Wow.
We don't see anything. It's four years worth of footage and we don't see fucking anything. And they're like strange phenomena that they want you to think as a UFO is literally like a blur. It's like a black blob in the sky. It could be a bird that just got caught at the right angle. You didn't see the wing. It's like a high resolution camera.
And we're supposed to think this is blur. It's not the 90s anymore. All those UFO documentaries, it used to be like, yeah, well, that camera quality is real crap. But that's because cameras are terrible. At this point, you're like, why is it just a blur? What I find so annoying about them showing these photos that he has is that the documentarians clearly know there's nothing there in these photos. And so instead of just showing them, they do these camera tricks where they flash them on the screen. They pan past them really fast. They'll show just the corner of a photo. It's so annoying. It kind of gave me a headache. I was like, just don't show us any of these stupid photos. There's nothing there. Except The Mist. The Mist was the big reveal.
yeah the oh my god yeah when a deer carcass was moved the cameras picked up a weird mist so you can't see what's moving it but also i don't know mist exists it's like weird mist it's kind of purpley but who knows what that is i don't know it's not a werewolf what if it's what if while a werewolf is transforming there's mist so you don't see it naked maybe you don't see like a naked dude yeah that's smart um what if werewolves are very prude so they've evolved it was advantageous to them to evolve to produce a like purple mist so you wouldn't see their so you wouldn't see their jump the science checks out you know what i This is the point of the documentary where we were watching at the same time and you sent me a text that just said the werewolf alien connection revealed. Yeah. Because they're clearly implying that they think that this is an alien. That the werewolf is an alien or like from another dimension or something. And for some reason it's here to steal deer carcasses from this guy's field. Yep. Just this guy. Just deer carcasses around Bray Road. Because you know what? He's better than this guy. The werewolf.
it's better than this guy's deer carcasses okay so when this deer got moved during the mist he like saw these tracks and he became convinced that that was the beast and he like i don't know ran into this other field oh my god is this where he went all over town to tons of different universities showing people these tracks he went to the field museum yeah and they were like this is nothing this isn't even a track it's just a lump yeah someone was like this is not even a track it looks like it was made with wood like a wooden stick Someone tells him that they might be an abnormal coyote. I think probably the quality of the cast he made is probably quite bad. Oh, they show him. It's very bad. It doesn't look like anything. They're just like, these are blobs. I don't know how to help you. I'm also just imagining him just showing up at the field museum, like no appointment with anyone. Like, who can I talk to about these tracks? And people just be like, oh my God, there's one of these guys every day. Like, please stop. When I worked at an art museum, this guy once showed up with a bunch of swords and was like, who can I talk to you about these swords? And I was like, this is a contemporary art museum. So no one?
No one can appraise your swords for free for you. This is an antiques road show. So many weird things happened at that place that I completely forgot. Oh yeah, that one time a guy showed up with an arm full of swords. Anyway, alright, we're almost done with this. There's just chapter 11. Better off left alone. We learn that Elkhorn has done little to embrace this legend, which honestly is a bummer because I kind of would have liked to go and get some t-shirts and shit. Yeah, this is where they've really gone wrong. They need a werewolf museum. They need a werewolf festival. They need to trademark this shit. Get some merch.
Bring the podcasters in. Learn from Point Pleasant. People are going nuts for that statue. Make a statue of a werewolf with a tight ass. Put that in the center of town and let every little coffee shop and whatever sell. I drank coffee with the Beast of Bray Road mugs, right? And pump some dough into your local economy.
But then at the end, it tells us the beast could be anywhere. It could be in your yard right now. And I was like, okay. Judging you, thinking it's better than you. With its distinctive sneer. Should we rate this or something? I think it's, oh, okay. Wait, let's rate it and then let's talk about your theory. So I guess I would give us a two. Yeah, I wasn't a big fan. Honestly, you said something that really rings true, which is that it's not very long, but it's too long. Yeah, it really is. This could have been half an hour. I see why it was just like a segment in some history channel show because there's not really anything here. People just saw something weird. It wasn't even doing much.
The stories are not nearly as compelling as the Mothman documentary. I also feel like you hear from less actual eyewitnesses and basically mostly from Linda. And I'm just not impressed with her in general. I'm sorry, Linda. Yeah. I wouldn't really recommend it. No. I kind of wish I had done something else with my hour and six minutes. Wow. Like, look at my phone. You know, like, not even something productive.
But while we were watching this, Samantha said to me her theory of what this is, and I have to say I agree. My theory, which I don't know why someone who specializes in animals lives in rural Wisconsin, this never occurred to him, or anyone else it seems like, but I'm pretty sure this is just a mangy bear. And you're going, what? That's not right. Okay, take a second. We're going to pause for a second. Google mange bear.
the picture that comes up, you're going to go, oh, that looks like a fucking werewolf. Because that's what happened to me last night when Samantha said this. And I was like, well, wouldn't it be right in the face? And then I looked at it and went, that looks exactly like a werewolf. Because if the bear's fur is not full, it's much thinner. It's much thinner. A lot of like, you know, maybe it wasn't mage. Maybe it was just sick, emaciated. Maybe it had rabies or something. That's why I was chasing people. But if it's lost a lot of its hair too, it looks creepy. Especially if it's lost a lot of hair on its face, it kind of loses a bear look and does look a little more dog-like. So the reason I thought about this is because the Chupacabra, which when I was growing up, what?
watching monster documentaries on the history channel little baby samantha chupacabra favorite favorite but that's always attributed to just a dog with mange which seems very likely because they look very creepy kind of scary if you see one at night just like running around you're probably gonna be freaked out and think it's a monster but a dog doesn't make sense in this case because it's too big there's no way you would see a dog even a big dog and think it was seven feet tall um well a dog can like stand on its hind legs, but can't run on its hind legs. Yeah, and then that's the other thing. It disproves that. A lot of people saw it on two legs, walking on two legs, but not for very long periods. People describe it as briefly standing on two legs, walking for a short period. I don't know that one guy saw it running beside his car. I think that's just made up. But that's bear behavior. They stand on two legs all the time. They can walk for short distances on two legs, but they're probably going to go back down to four legs. If it's sick, it might be eating roadkill. Black bears especially are scavengers. There's been bear sightings all over the suburbs of Minnesota this year. It's very common to see them around. So I think that people in rural Wisconsin would recognize a normal bear, but a mangy, sick...
particularly at night particularly in headlights like that first picture that comes up when you say mangy bear it's like oh that's a fucking werewolf like i can't believe how much it looks like a werewolf and i think yeah like if you're just driving along the road and something jumps out in front of your car and you don't get the best look at it you're not gonna go oh that's probably a sick elderly bear you're gonna go like what the fuck was that and also if it's hungry you know bears will move more if their food is scarce you know they're more and more likely to move closer to town like if this bear is hungry maybe that explains why it would like kind of chase people in some of these instances yeah and also like the behavior they describe where it it stands up and looks at them and then runs away scared like that's just an animal it's just like a scared maybe sick animal like maybe it looks weird and and whatever it seems like it's watching people it's afraid people are gonna like hurt it's vulnerable it doesn't want to get hurt right it seems hungry like yeah it's looking for your trash and then gets scared when you walk out to let your dog out or something it wants to hear fucking garbage i was like this county needs to take better care of its bears and this problem will go away maybe get a different animal control guy maybe get an animal control guy that's not so quick to be like finally my x-files moment that's
I get it, but also I'm not sure he's the right fit for the job. I appreciate that he didn't just dismiss everybody's stories and tell them they're insane or something, but he might have been a little too far the other way. There's gotta be a happy medium. Same with Linda. I appreciate that she actually went and listened to all these people and didn't just dismiss them as being kooks, but I feel like they are probably overlooking a really obvious...
solution to the mystery because they don't really want it solved. It's better that it's a mystery. It's way more fun for it to be a werewolf running around. She's not going to write a book about how people saw a bunch of things and turned out it was a bear with mange. The bear with mange of Bear Road. Nobody's reading that. She's not going to end up on silly little documentaries like this and have her weird 15 minutes. It's way more fun for it to be a werewolf, which I understand. I just couldn't believe that you solved it. I was like, that is it. I'm completely convinced.
It just, it makes sense. It makes sense for the area. It explains pretty much all of the sightings. Like, that's why it would be in the woods. That's why it would be eating roadkill. That's why, like, chasing deer. Yeah. Looking weird. Freaking people out. I was kind of, that's why it's that tall. Like, I was like, yeah, case solved. Put that solved stamp on this one. Case closed. Was that werewolf story in Beyond Belief Fact or Fiction? Was that fact or fiction? I was trying to remember.
I don't know. I just remember that at some point I went, oh, so werewolves aren't real? I could not stop thinking about that fact or fiction while I was watching this because it is so, so absurd. The level of absurdity in that one in particular is just like, where they're like, can you believe this story of a guy who was a werewolf? And I was like, no, you can't. I'm going to be honest with you, Jonathan Franks. I think this one is fiction. And did I just say Jonathan Franks? I definitely meant Frakes. Our patrons would never complain about our pronunciations. I definitely, definitely meant Frakes. But also, werewolves are real.
I think this is a fun topic. I don't know that we'll get to talk exclusively about werewolves again on Patreon. We have your mom on the show to talk about werewolf lore. She was going to answer all of our werewolf questions. She seems really nonplussed about coming on the podcast. I tried to get her to write a review or record a little review of Werewolf Smackdown. She didn't seem interested. I wanted her to do a Q&A. She really, every time is like, do I have to?
It's like it's homework. I was like, yes, mom, I'll be a failure if you don't do this. Anyway, that's the beast. The Bray Road Beast. You almost called it the wrong thing again. Well, we're not recommending it when you watch it, so. No, I would pass. I would watch the Mothman one again before I watch this. We were thinking we were going to watch. What was the one we were going to watch? I want to watch Octopus 2 River of Fear, but that's something that the two of us should do together. So maybe in person. The other one we wanted to watch was, goddammit, now I forgot what it was. Oh, about the Flatwoods Monster? The Flatwoods Monster. We both realized that we don't know anything about the Flatwoods Monster. It looks silly, but also creepy.
and why does it look like that it looks it looks like a children's drawing from the 50 like not even a children's drawing now somehow um the issue with that is it is on prime but i think you have to pay like four dollars but we probably aren't recommending it so maybe that doesn't matter yeah we usually go into these expecting to be disappointed so we can let you know if it's really worth four dollars i guess that seems steep god Yeah, considering you're already paying for Amazon Prime, Jeff Bezos. And minimum wage is like $7 in some places. Should you pay half an hour's work to watch about the Flatwoods monster? I'm going to say absolutely not without even having seen it. Yeah. Sadly, Jeff Bezos hasn't flown into the sun yet. Maybe his spaceship will take a wrong turn. All those fucking rich motherfuckers keep talking about going into space and I'm like, go. All of you go.
They need to get in rockets and race. And then we're like, no, no, we're going to handle your re-entry. Don't worry about that part. Just get your rockets ready to go into space. And then they just like sail off and we're just like, bye. Have fun. Yeah. Say hi to the sun for me.
Okay. I think that is the end of this month's special bonus werewolfy episode for you. I hope you enjoyed it. With your money. Thank you. Thank you. I hope it was worth it. Thanks for giving us money, even though we don't have any regular content coming out. We should get back to that soon. We'll be back soon. We've had a hectic real life as of late. Samantha is cursed. If you put a curse on Samantha, please lift it. Yeah. Can you please stop that? I don't. Yeah. It's not fair. She's learned her lesson. She's going forward. Please lift the Samantha curse. But I think we should be able to start recording again soon.
even record in person which will be a novelty after all of this you'll have to look at me and you'll be like oh remote recording probably forget how to use that mixer or to relearn it after watching a youtube video oh no okay we'll have to send our um setup to josh at uncovering unexplained mysteries again so he can be like what the fuck is this he was very nice about that he was so nice about it but he clearly was also like this works he asked us i believe he said do you fix this in post and i was kind of like first of all what is this fix what and no i think it's a gain or something And we were just like, because he's like a musician. He knows all these like recording things. And we were just like, haha, yeah. Yep. We know what we're doing. Plugged things in until it worked. Yeah. It's called trial and error, bitch. Okay. Bye. On that note, bye.