Fuck It Friday Episode 25 Body Count or Body Bags

If you go to Morton's, Vic & Anthony's, Del Frisco's, or any steakhouse of similar ilk, I'd imagine you'd probably order a top notch cut of beef. Now, if that beautiful, succulent, perfectly prepared steak came to your table, and had a bite taken out of it, would you still pay full price for that meat? No? So, if it had ten bites taken out, that's probably a HELL NO, right? Same principle here! You eventually want to have a happy, monogamous marriage? Then clamp those fucking legs shut! "We swing though, and neither one of us cared about body count before we got married." You're not monogamous then, are you! You both just have free reign to cheat. So, congrats on your meaningless piece of paper. Don't be mad, and don't worry. Successful relationships are going the way of the dinosaurs anyway. So, get yourself a pet, prepare to die alone, and have said pet eat your face for sustenance until somebody comes to investigate the stink. Welcome to Sodom and Gomorrah version 2.0, people. Poles in holes, holes on holes, poles on poles, soles on holes, soles on poles, finger popping, clit whipping, tit slapping, butterfly action, s&m, IBM, DOS, Windows 8, anal, and handjobs with truffle butter. That's going to be a Sunday sermon within the next 5 years.