Fuck the why!

Fuck the why. I'm getting a bit fed up with advertising and articles on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and all the gurus and experts telling us that we need to know our why, why we do things, the why that is our driving force and if we know what it is then we will find it easy to imagine and see exactly what we want in the future and that without the why we will be less motivated in our work. It is such a buzz thing to do now - to find your why! I find this just ... Well, in the beginning when I first heard this, I kinda bought into it and did quite a bit of work to find my big why. But you know what, after 42 years of adulthood I can honestly say I have no big why! No matter how hard I looked within to find this revelation no lightning bolt struck! Life is an adventure and if you enjoy what you're doing do you need to know exactly why you do it? You do it because you enjoy it so does there need to be a great destination behind our lives? I know all the research behind the success of people who plan their lives and I’m not advocating no plans at all, but what I am saying is that whilst the general direction of your life can be planned, how it happens, who you meet who will influence us and what happens to our journey cannot be planned. Surely remaining open to change is also important because as we age and mature what we want and like also evolves, so sticking pedantically to a plan, a career, a country, or any plan so as not to be a quitter can be a huge cause of unhappiness. Deep down we all know whether we are quitting or whether we actually prefer to do something different. I'm not so sure that a good life can be planned, because what and why we do things surely will vary in different circumstances? Our ambitions are only a part of our life. Spontaneity so often brings the greatest pleasures or changes to our lives that the caution of sticking to our why and our plans can deter spontaneous action and can work against us. I think sometimes wanting to live this perfect life underpinned by a powerful why so as to achieve everything that we want with all these fantastic goals fails to recognise the beauty of flow. If we work hard, stay relaxed and ask the universe to fulfil our desires, many will just flow to us, but never lose sight of the reality that whilst many things will work out, many others won’t because that is what it should be otherwise, we wouldn’t appreciate the wins. I do believe if you do the work, good things will come to you even if it is only a good lesson. The big point is that we just never know when we will reap the rewards of our work, in what form we benefit or how much reward will come back to us. I think a lot of people that have worked incredibly hard and gotten into privileged positions forget the one element that is part of it, which is a bit of luck in hitting the right thing at the right time. One example is doing something or selling something that captures people's imagination. This is rarely planned and known. We can have an inkling that success will follow a good plan but nothing in life is guaranteed, and most great businesses or people could never envisage the size of their success. Yeah, I'm just getting a little tired of the pressure to find my big fucking why, that somehow we are less if we don’t have one. The only why for me is to enjoy my life, and what brings me enjoyment does vary. My life evolved into coaching, and it feels good to share and help others have empathy, have a sunny outlook and be resilient through difficult times. There is no cosmic why behind my choices and there are many other things in life I may try. If you do know your big why, congratulations. It is personal and your own gift that drives you forward but remain humble because knowing your why does not make anyone a special human being or entitle anyone to anything. If you like my stuff email me at [email protected] and let me know what topics you would like to hear about.