Oh, man. Let me just check my temper. Oh, yeah. It's a fever. Full-blown World Cup fever. I knew that. I said last week it was a tickle in my throat. Now I'm on my knees in a Tesco, okay? Trying to get some kind of relief as I clutch my meal deal close to my chest. I've got a Ribena and a chicken and stuffing sandwich. But here I am, and this is Ain't It Footy going into the first, I guess, second week of the World Cup. We got just a little preview last week. Now we are in the throes of it. We're like, eh, let's see. No, we're here. It's Ain't It Footy. Jamel Johnson, Chris Martin. Here we are. Overall feeling. Because we went from...
Like, man, I don't even care. I mean, obviously I'm going to watch. I don't even care. It sounds like collectively the fever has taken over. How have you been dealing with the thief? I'm sweating right now. Miles, I got it. I've changed my shirt a couple times. I've upped the fluids. I'm drinking broth. Oh, okay. Drinking broth, dog. World Cup fever. I'm down bad. Yeah. Have you, Chris, what about you? Because you've gone into watch party mode too? I've gone into watch party. I've gone into, so I, so firstly, I was just thinking about FIFA and the World Cup and I've decided that the World Cup is a beautiful racist. In terms of, do you ever meet someone and they're just like, have you met, in my time as a younger single man, I remember.
I once met a very beautiful woman that clearly was a bit racist. And so on a moral level, I was like, I'm not into this. But I was like, wow, that's so beautiful. And that is what this World Cup is. There's a lot of moral stuff I'm not into. Once the football starts, I'm like, God damn, it's sexy. Sexy, sexy. Sexy. It's sexy. So I'm fully on board. And then on the weekend, I thought I'd take my son to, we're in America, the World Cup's in America. Let's go to a watch party.
atmosphere big screen there's gonna be stuff for my kid to do i looked online karen bass has got a nice little website on the la city uh i don't know website whatever she's got like a separate tab for the every city council like districts got their own shit oh they've got anything i was like put my zip code in where is there going to be a big screen to watch it and i found one in koreatown 25 minute drive it's got a giant screen it's gonna be a thousand people in the park and i sent you guys a video and it was a jumbo a jumbo screen yeah and probably no more than 25 people on deck chairs watching it There's literally, no one knows there's a World Cup on in Koreatown apart from the 25 people I was with. Wait till Thursday when that Mexico-Korea match goes down because that is the most LA matchup I've ever seen. Should we go back to the same Koreatown watch party and see how it looks? Yeah, except I'm not going to be here. I'll be going to DC then. So I'll figure out, there's got to be something in DC. There's so many people all around in that area, the DMV area. But anyway. Hang on, I've got to say, by the way, on Saturday, I then went to, I was like, that's free. What I know about America is stuff that's free. People generally think it's bad. So there's one I had at the Coliseum in downtown. You pay $10.
It's a fan zone. It's going to have Germany. It's 10 o'clock in the morning. The Germany Kurosawa game. It's going to be games for the kids. Free for kids. $10. Immediately, it's like they wanted me to have the worst time. I get there. They're like, it's $20 to put your stroller away. I'm like, you're just punishing me for having a child. I put that in the car. I go back. I've got a diaper bag. The guy goes, you're not going to get in because it's not see-through. I'm like, it's a diaper bag. It's a kid. It's fine. I go to the gate. The person goes, we just changed the rules. You can only bring a diaper bag in if it's got formula as well as diapers. I go, this is just made up rules. You're just punishing my kids for not being potty trained at the age of two.
Yeah. Which, maybe he's a slow learner, but let's not monetarily punish me for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was so angry, and it was like, I don't know if it was Coliseum or FIFA, but I get in there, and as soon as I get in there, there's a couple little games I'm playing, he's having a good time, and then I turn around, and I see Kurosawa score a goal, and it just like, it just cleansed me. I like just jumped, it's like a crazy, just so excited, an underdog story. Yeah. Yeah. For a brief moment. For a brief moment. For a brief moment, yeah. And then for absolutely no reason, the Paw Patrol pups were giant Paw Patrol pup mascots there. My son was playing a football game, and he goes, Sky!
Sky. I was like, is that girl wearing a Sky hat? And I go, oh, it's just the Paw Patrol Pops. And then so we went and saw the, I mean, yeah, at the time of his life, let's see football and the Paw Patrol Pops. Anyway, I'm on board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamel, did you have any rowdy time? Did you go to a rowdy party? I went to a party that, well, I was rowdy at the party. Okay. And nobody else was really rowdy at the party. And I took it upon myself to inject a little pace into the event that I was at. Shout out to the Cooligans, my guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the East Coast companion to the show. I mean, really, the OG. Yeah, the OG. Of Americans talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Christian Blanco, the guys. I'm an Arsenal fan, though. Because Christian's Everton, right? I think Christian's Everton. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's okay, because y'all helped us out. Y'all helped us out. Exactly. He was still nice. And, you know, they hooked me up with a couple tickets to get in. And it's a watch party at the Bellwether. Okay. That it was, like, secret. It was, like, a watch party at the Bellwether preceded by, or followed by an Addison Rae concert. What? Two things that don't really matter. Yeah. And it's the Bellwether, and they've got, like, a big buffet. It's like a...
It's like a Foods of the World buffet upstairs, which was mostly good except for the paella. I don't know what y'all doing with the seafood paella. I don't think it's like not at the watch party. buffet setting do I want to see clams. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no. And also, it has to be made by a Spanish person. I'm sorry, I'm just going to go out there on a limb. And I don't know who was back there, but the point was, I was by myself, but I had two tickets that came with two drink tickets. So, I have my two IPAs. I leave. I come back in. They're like, no re-entry. And I'm like, I got two tickets, bitch. I go outside, smoke a joint to myself. Load up your two beers. Yeah, and it was like, it also was enhanced by the fact that I hit that bet that I was telling you guys about in the preview. Oh, yeah, what did you win? Mexico to win. U.S. to win. Canada to draw.
Free money. Free money. What were the odds on that? That's a very specific bet. I mean, all together, it was probably like plus 600, 650, something like that. Something sick. So you won like $6.50? Yeah, exactly. I put 50 cents down. I'm not trying to risk it all. I just want to be right. The drink is on me. Yeah, you know what I mean? So I just get turned up and then we beat the hell out of fucking Paraguay. But the real killer was getting there. The only way, I take the train. Per the request of Mayor Karen Bass.
I take the train from fucking Highland Park to the Bellwether. And the walking route, you can't walk there legally. I had to walk on a highway entrance. The only legal way to get... People were giving you money. Yeah. The only way to legally get there is a set of stairs. It's a on-ramp to the 110 North where there is a staircase underneath it who's... It's fully blocked by a guy's stuff. Oh, wow. So then we had to navigate... I walked on the other entrance. I walked on the entrance to the freeway instead of the stairs. Amazing. Amazing. I'm not fighting a guy. Yeah. I'm not moving a guy's stuff. You might have to, though. You might have to. I thought about it for a second and I was like, actually, I'd rather get hit by a car. Yeah. So then I did that.
Basically, Karen Bass has a little bit to answer for. She talks a good game. She talks a great game. The World Cup plan is a little rough around the edges. That's what I'll say about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, hey, it is what it is. But I guess maybe start off talking about some of the opening matches with the host nations. Mexico won their opener 2-0 over South Africa. For whatever reason, Raul scoring that goal really touched me. That's when I was like, I got the fever. I think I texted everybody. I was like, yeah, that's what it's all. You just need to see a grown man getting emotional because he put ball in goal for the first time in World Cup.
And you're like, and then he had his head exploded. He's been through a lot, this Raul. Do you know what, though? Because at the moment, they're doing a lot of the World Cup because it brings a lot more casual fans in. They're really hitting the storylines. And I just saw a headline like, he should be dead. And I was like, the dead man scored. It's amazing. What a story. It was a good time. And then, bro, LA was everywhere. It felt like it was like the Knicks victory. The amount of Mexico jerseys that were in LA, obviously. I love their white shirt. What a beautiful kit that is. Lovely bit.
Also, shout out to our man, the first goal scorer. I was like, hold on, who is Julian Quinones? Yeah, I did not. I wasn't familiar with Mexico's work. I know. I was like, hold on, who's this brother out here? He turns out he's actually born in Colombia. OK, and then was he was played there and then he got recruited to play in Mexico at 18. And then that's how I ended up there. Shout out to Jabari with the research producer, Jabari, keeping us educated and in the know. But yeah, so that's sort of like his story. But yeah, there was just a great match. Great opener.
Just also so violent as well. Oh yeah. Sorry. Three, was it three red cards? Yeah. The ref has got into it. You know, and it's like one, I mean, he's given two. He's got, he's slightly lost his head. I mean, guys, we've taken out the last man. So you don't really have a, it's a red card. So it's what, yeah. I love it when people say, yeah, let's talk. So.
It's what you want in the first game, right? Goals, sendings off, beautiful redemption stories. It helps really set the vibes off because the stadium is up and everyone's excited. So shout out to Mexico for their win. Well, I guess what I was going to say was, for 20 minutes of the match, I thought that guy's name was Shithole, as I'm sure you guys know. I obviously thought that. There's some great names, by the way, at this World Cup.
was it uh haiti they've got experience experience a probably dance just a lot of just words that you hear in the english language but um with a little french accent that kind of smidge it out kind of like a lot of nigerians have like biblical names they're like this is grace and faith you know what i mean but then this is just a little bit of that that french flavor on it this is probably dance okay this is experience it reminds me there's a very famous old british sitcom called keeping up appearances where the main woman is called um something buckets and she goes it's pronounced bouquet it's pronounced bouquet anyway I love it. All right. So the U.S. national team, I got to say, I was very, very surprised at what they did. Jamel, you know this. I tell you this all the time. I could give a fuck less about the U.S. men's national team. And that's why I'm so glad you are here because I have a couple of questions. A, did you see this coming? And also, I didn't realize Diego Luna wasn't on the fucking team. Jesus. Listen, Diego got played. They made Diego do a whole ad campaign with Carl's Jr. and Dutch Bros. Dude, there's so many Diego Luna ads that I'm seeing that I'm like, wait, what the fuck happened to him? First of all, what happened to him? Why didn't he get picked?
I just, well, they just brought up, basically, they say we got to take Reyna. It came down to Gio or him, and guess who could do a Travella? Yeah, right. What a finish that was. My favorite finish in the world. It's beautiful outside of it. Yeah, it's nice. The shape of it. The shape of it. I knew we could score. The beautiful racists got me again with a Travella. From one colonizing country to another. Yes, yes. It's funny how, too, I'm like, man, I would never be caught dead in no America jersey, and I'm like...
England! England! It's just weird. It's like, when it's not your own country, you're like, I can look past it. Yeah, I know. Exactly. I didn't think the defense would... I thought if we won, it would be like 3-2 or 4-3. I thought it'd be a fucking nail-biter. And also, Tim Ream did fall.
At one point, it's like, okay. How old's Tim Ream now? He feels like he's got to be over there. He's our age, dog. He's whatever age you are. He's too old to be out there for sure. Call him Father Time Ream. He's out there for a reason. He can make the plays. He's 38. That's because I just misspelled his name as I searched his age. I put Time Ream.
That was the genesis of that terrible joke, if you must know. It's behind the curtain, guys. But yeah, the press was, like, they were pressing, they were efficient and going forward. They were dark horses, baby. They were dark horses. They had a key player missing, some attacker up front, who maybe would have made things look a little different, but, you know, they just, it's perfect, perfect opponent for game one. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And we gotta shout out our boy, the former gunner himself, Flo Balogun.
Bro, he looks so good. I love it. I love it. I tried to put a bet in before the game started. Us to win.
Flo Balogin, two goals. Yeah. The odds of this, can I tell you, the odds on this, if I put a dollar on this, they would have had to hand me like $400. Wow. I swear to God, I know. At the time that I went to place the bet, I would have had to hand you that much money. At the time that I went to place the bet, the odds was insane, and then DraftKings wouldn't let me do it. They like kept buffering, and I'm like, oh, these bitches, they know. That's why a lot of Arsenal fans are like, bro, he's scoring. He is. He's like, well, Flo Balogin, he is in there. Great fucking goals, too. I love it. A lot of people are like, wait, why is this guy talking like that?
Okay, yes, he's English. He was raised in London, but he was born in New York City. He said when he's on the flight, he watches paid in full, man. He with us. Yeah, exactly. Pochettino in a fucking Dickey suit. Bro, Pochettino looked like Russell Crowe preparing for a role to be like a MS-13. You touched upon a thing that's like every racist immigration stances get completely screwed up by the World Cup. They're like, we don't want any one of those people. I mean, but if he scores two goals, then he can save, bro. He can save, bro.
Same thing like white college football fans in the South. They're like, well, hey, man, he's playing for Alabama. You know, roll tide. He's technically white. Yeah.
In my mind, in order for me to enjoy the game, I have to see him as a white man. In my brain, when you put on that Alabama uniform, you are quite. Have you seen the Matthew McConaughey early 90s movie, About Time, where he's talking about Samuel L. Jackson's daughter who gets killed, and then he seeks vengeance. Oh, sure. Time to kill. Time to kill. I was like, what? I thought you were saying it was a movie about the concept. No, sorry. It's called Tim Ream to Kill. Time Ream to Kill. But yeah, he does this whole speech, and he goes, imagine if she was white. So that's what they wore. That's literally right. Matthew McConaughey, they put on a...
on that bit of the movie in their headphones. Oh, shit. You've solved it. You bastard. You've gone and done it. Yeah, the U.S., definitely. I'm like, when I saw that, I'm like, okay, Mexico, U.S., definitely looking good. Canada? Hey, listen, they've never won a World Cup game, right? They pulled it out of five. Oh, is that true? I'm pretty sure that's close to true. I don't think Bosnia, I mean, Bosnia's not bad. No. That's a tough opponent. Yeah, and they've got people who are playing in Europe at pretty high levels. Canada, it's definitely a mixed match. Kolasinac was playing for his life out there, bro. Mate, did you see that clearance he did? Yeah.
Fucking hero. They said he gave up an on goal at the last World Cup, too. So he's fucking, he's sweating through his fucking draws about this. That man's fought off knife-wielding criminals before. I know. He can deal with pressure. He can deal with pressure, that guy. It's still terrifying to me. I fought a man trying to attack me with a knife. Not even me. He tried to attack my boy. He was protecting Mesut. He was like, get the fuck out. What the fuck you want? The guy was like, let's take off on our bike. That's still legendary. For people who don't know, look up Kolasinac Urzel robbery, where he had to fend off a knife-wielding fucking bandit to protect his.
He was at Arsenal before Mikel came in, and you can imagine that Mikel would be happy with the flogging standards there, guys. You know what? If it was Mikel, Mikel would have sent those dudes with a knife to test their gangster. Yeah, yeah. He's like, guys, I don't know if you remember this weekend. Every single one of you got robbed, guys. Strong arm robbery. Every single one of you guys. Except one, guys. Except one. Sad. Stand up. Round of applause for him, guys. He protected Mesut, guys. This is fantastic, guys. The rest of you, bitches. As we say, perras. You guys didn't even pay attention. It wasn't even knives. They were holding breadsticks, guys. Guys, sorry. Bukayo, you got robbed with a Slim Jim. That wasn't even anything. It was floppy meat stick, guys. That was a fucking curly whirly he was holding. A fucking curly whirly. What's a curly whirly? It's a quality 10p.
chocolate from the UK, mate. Get it up. Get it up. Bring it up. I.E. or Y. Curly. Just type in curly-worthy in any way chocolate. Curly-worthy chocolate. Oh, yeah. This looks very regular. It's like a lattice style chocolate. So, obviously, it's 10p because you're actually only getting about half the amount of chocolate in the container. You're getting 5p worth of chocolate. Exactly.
Well, yeah, so we'll see. Next match is coming up for them. We'll see how they do. Germany, again, we talked about destroying Curacao. It started off really beautifully because, like, six minutes, Germany scores. 21st minute, Livano Cominencia scores. And then you basically have, like, for the next 17 minutes, you're like, oh, shit, this is kind of a game. I'm never going to say it right, but the dude's stats in the Swiss League are nuts. For you to score on Germany, the first goal in this country's history in a World Cup game.
This guy played 24 matches in the Swiss Super League. No goals, no assists, four yellow cards. Jesus Christ. And you put one past Germany. That's nuts. Yeah, he said, come and see me, yeah? Okay. That was terrible, too. I will say I was excited. I'm very excited Curacao scored. But just on a personal note, I did go to Curacao for a day while I was doing a stand-up on a cruise ship. Just now, just because I just had to go check it out really quick. I just had to go check it out. And I got some of the worst custom serves ever for lunch. I had my son with me.
He was getting angry. I just said, just bring me some fries. And you know, they've absolutely forgotten your order. Just bring me some fries. Do you have that ready? Just go, I'll go. Hey, I'll go back. I'll go around back. I'll go around back. Is this for real? This happened? No, no, no. It was genuinely like...
honestly it took over an hour for them to make two sandwiches and some fries but you're on like in holiday mode you don't want to sound like the annoying English guy so I'm trying to be actually kind of polite about it but then I'm like look at this guy and you see people coming after you and they get the food first and you go what the fuck's the deal with that and they come up with like well they ordered lettuce they ordered lettuce so it's quicker we actually these guys can technically play for our team and we're just here to recruit players so for that reason I'm happy they lost 7-1 I'm not For a second, I was like, this can't be a real complaint. This is like a white woman's complaint who goes to the Caribbean for the first time. I'm like, the service? I don't know what they're doing. They don't care. I have money. I'm like, welcome to not America, especially when it's a majority black or brown country. It's laid back, you know? It's laid back. It was laid back, but it was more the fact that it wasn't for everyone. It felt like it's a single...
Now you know how I felt at Red Lobster in 1996, okay, Chris? They go both ways. I went to Denny's in Tennessee, now you know. The manager now is telling everybody in that restaurant, now imagine that customer is white. Bro, you know what I almost did for this game on the side note? I almost watched it at a curacao. Y'all ever go to that store at Curacao? The fucking electronics store? I've been calling it Latino Rent-A-Center. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
I almost slid to one in Panorama City. I almost went to Panorama City Curacao to watch the game. Just for vibes. Oh, shit. That's a deep cut. Yeah, Germany. How's Germany ranking for people after that result? I mean, seven fucking goals. Yeah, yeah. But it's Curacao. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it seems like they're cruising. I will say that's the one game. Like, you know, 40-18 World Cup. You think there's going to be a lot of, like, flat track bullying. But that's the one game I can think of that's being a battering. And it's like, I mean, I love the story that Curacao in the World Cup. And Dick Capacat, oldest manager ever. It's amazing. But they are the one team that, like, they're not the level. But, like, Saudi, like, everyone is...
We're talking about Cape Verde, I'm sure. Everyone is, like, burning their place, man. Just hanging on with your fingernails draws was really amazing. And they were all compelling somehow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Brazil, Morocco. Now, that was one where I was like, let's see what you got, Brazil. I feel like, I think we were saying, like, I mean, I don't know, is Igor Tiago? Maybe. He could be. He had a great season in the Prem. Could it be Rayan Hayan? But they ended up drawing to Morocco 1-1. They look terrible off the ball, Brazil. Yeah. Like, they look absolutely diabolical off the ball.
They look like they're being coached by Carlo Ancelotti. And he's like, they do the attack in the first hour. And they're like, all right, if we've got any time left, we'll do a bit of defensive practice. And he's like, kind of want a cigar. Usually, he's like, usually we'll score like three goals with my formula and then we can just sit down. Then Igor Tiago missed the header. And I was like, you know, when you're like, I mean, this guy's so good in the Premier League. But when he missed the header, I was like, you look like a striker from Brentford. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not even Brazilian. You look like what people imagine a Brentford striker is finishing a World Cup would be like. Hey, no disrespect. Two great goals though. Yeah, that's for sure. And Tiago doesn't seem like the guy. It seems like maybe somebody else should be up there.
I mean, I don't know who. But could it just be because Barack Obama was good? They swapped because Kunia came in, right? For Tiago, I think, to play nine. But yeah, I was definitely, I was like, oh man, did you see that clip of Neymar trying to coach? I think it was Bruno Guimarães. And the dude, it literally looked like an adult trying to ignore a five-year-old trying to explain a movie they just saw. And then the thing happened and he was like, yeah, bro, what? Man, shut the fuck up. He was like, I gotta go. I'm actually playing. And you have a receding hairline and you're above. Yeah, don't try to coach me with your hat backwards, first off. You're not the cool teacher, bro.
Okay. Yeah. 100%. So yeah, that we'll see where that goes. I, I, hopefully they'll wait. I want, I like when Brazil plays exciting football in a world cup, but like it's been a while since they've truly kind of put the razzle dazzle on. I think Morocco is a tough first game. And I think both teams by the end, we're just like, yeah, let's just take our drive. We'll take our draw and get the fuck out of here. For sure. But I think no disrespect to Morocco, you'd expect Brazil to win that one with the amount of quality they have. And not say Morocco doesn't, but it just feels like in the world cup, I feel like we're historically used to, uh, the as they say in Portuguese, um, Haiti, Scotland.
Scotland with a win. Now, Chris, you sent a video of these Scots partying on a boat. I don't know. What town are they in right now? I think they're somewhere in America. They're in the East Coast. I think they're in Providence. They're in Providence. That's what it was. I mean, the skin cancer numbers that are going to pop up in about five to ten years off the back of that is going to be astronomical. The amount of samples getting sent to the lab is going to skyrocket. But I mean, my wife's Scottish. It's quite funny because when Arsenal won the league, all I was doing was watching videos online. She's in Scotland right now filming something. She's just on the set with Scottish people.
She texted me like, today was like, when did the game happen? On Saturday or Sunday? Yeah, Saturday. She was just like, she's like, I totally get what you were doing out of Arsenal. She goes, I keep watching videos. And I'm so, she's walking around her town, this little town outside. Okay. Got that fever. Just on a big ass boat. They're turning up. And they all got the pink shirt too. That's crazy.
I love that. I love that. Isn't that in the clip? It's like from it from threads where it says like Landon Donovan is right. They might be the best fans in the world. And obviously we're big Landon Donovan fans. And just so you know, if you do go to the fan party at the Coliseum, you can win a signed book from Landon Donovan. That's one of the prizes.
And do we know what it's about? Jamel, do you have any idea? Boy, if it is not about his trip to Turkey to get that new hair, I'm not reading it. It's a soccer book and it's called Two Nights in Istanbul. Two Nights in Istanbul. I got the transplant and was able to get right out. Fantastic. Fair play. And that game was kind of, it was kind of a real, like, it wasn't a great game, but I was watching my son and I was like, I was watching Haiti again. I was like, Haiti, this is my, I think I texted you guys. My review was almost good. They like, in buildup, it reminded me weirdly of a kind of a Mikel Artetti.
the first two thirds of the field, they're just like pinging it around and they just could not put anything together in the final third. But again, I thought Scotland would easily win it, but it was a really tight, well-fought game. And yeah, I hope Haiti do well as well. I had no bad customer service in Haiti, so I just wish them the best. Come on. Did you see Wyclef John refuse to shake a Scottish guy's hand? No. They had Wyclef at the desk at one of these World Cup talk shows. And yeah, I forget who the Scottish panelist was, but he was just like, no, get out of here. He did the like, hey, listen, good game. He hit him with a psych. He was like, psych?
Wow. Wow. Okay. He did it twice. He did it once or two times.
There we go. Really tenuous, Fuji's reference. I appreciate you guys for laughing. You went for it, though. The other joke I just tried to make work was he said, I'll see you. I'll be gone till November. That's who it was. Thank you, Jabbar. Also, I got to say, that Gala song, Freed from Desire, it's just such a good chant, bro. I think Wiggin was the one who really started it first. Was it like Will Griggs on fire? Will Griggs on fire. I don't know how many years ago. But then we have our own version because your defense is terrified. Osaka's on fire.
Um, and then this one, it's just, it's just a great song. And I just love that like old, it was like nineties techno electronic music ends up becoming like just timeless on the terraces. Um, elsewhere, uh, some pretty, some more interesting Australia, but two past Turkey. Um, good on them. They, their fans love seeing a bunch of drunk Australian people in the streets going, all day boys are on a bender. Donald Trump is a sex offender. Um, they were, let them all stay. I was like, yeah, there they are. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Um,
Netherlands, drew with Japan. That was another hanging on by your fingernails. How are you feeling about that? Yeah, you've got skin in the game. My literal skin. Half of your skin was in the game. I mean, two light-skinned Dutch players scored. And then two Japanese guys. You're talking, you have biracial black people and Japanese people scoring. This is amazing. Virgil van Dijk with the first goal. Nakamura with the near five or six minutes instant reaction off a deflected goal. Then Crescensio Somerville with a nice, that left-footed finish from just outside, very Robin-esque.
I had no idea he was Dutch. That's the real- Same. I thought he was- Him and Ryan Robby. I knew Broby was Dutch for some reason. I didn't know Broby was Dutch. Somerville, I think just the name Somerville, I just was like, this guy, this guy's just like not quite good enough for England. I don't know, but I think he started playing for Holland recently. I thought he played for like Antigua or something. I was like, yeah, you're a cliff diving dude. I can see you doing some cliff diving. You're a scuba instructor who may or may not have had sex with a lot of married women. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the islands. Are you for scuba lubin? Yeah, yeah. For scuba lubin? He had an interesting...
cross cut in the side of his head. It was a plus sign. It wasn't a cross. It's like the shit on a Bluetooth speaker when you want to turn the volume up. Yeah, he has like a turn the volume up cut in the side of his head. New listeners to the podcast, Jamel is our resident hairstyle expert on the show. Yeah. Football and hair, they're synonymous. They're one in the same. They are tied together like some fucking braids. Wait, where did he have his shit on the side? It was on the side. He's got it cut in the side because he's got the braids but on the side of the fade he had a Bluetooth speaker plus sign.
I don't even know if you, I don't even know if you get an ISO of it. Cause we're so quick. I'm trying. I'm just, I gotta see anyway. Um, but shout out to him. And then it was so funny. I don't know if you were watching the match. I forget who it was in the commentary. Am I even Darren Ferguson? Um, or Darren Fletcher rather. And talking about like, he's asking like, why the Japanese, like, why are they even bothered with these, these crosses into the box? Cause they're so short. They should probably go short on this one. Cut to just a fucking amazing header. Daichi Kamada, uh, coming off his teammate, I think. And just straight into the goal. It was just.
Yeah, it was just like one of those ones like, all right, I'm an idiot. I'm going to shut up. It kind of reminded me of when we scored that header against Burnley when it's like, ah, the last couple of crosses haven't been great. Or we went short. We kept going short before Havertz scored. And then like, they should probably go. Yeah, okay. It's kind of the commentator's curse. He's having a great game. So what is the revert commentator's? I mean, he fucked himself by saying that in the same way where he's like, they're not going to score. Oh, the opposite of what I said. There's certainly something in a bunch of these games. It's like they're jinxing themselves. It's not like they're jinxing the team. Like they're talking shit. They're hating. Right.
Like, Landon Donovan was like, man, I don't even know why Curtis I was even trying to score. And then they scored immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's such a fucking arrogant fuck. Let's see. There was also, like, I mean, Sweden won 5-1. That was a pretty big win. Spain? Yeah, yeah. I was sad to see Isak alive. I'm not gonna lie. Yeah, yeah. But he is. But he is alive. You'll have to deal with that. You'll have to deal with that. And well. Spain and Cape Verde. That was one. Is that a bigger... I'm curious. Do you think that... I'm trying to work out the biggest upset. That or Australia beating Turkey. I can't work out what's the biggest... I think that Cape Verde is a bigger upset, right? Yeah, for sure. I mean...
For a team that just won the Euros and has that many players who are in pretty decent form playing. They're my picks for the tournament as well. I thought too. I was like, but now I'm like, I don't know, bro. You can even put one past Cape Verde. A 40-year-old man in goal, by the way. He's got to be lying about his age.
Yeah. Yeah. The face. Yeah. The face. He looks, he looks 50. He's doing what he got to do to get on that fucking plane to the world cup, man. And I'm not, Hey, you know what? You did your thing. It's like an insurance. No, they all know. It's just like an insurance thing. Like if they know his real age, we can't, this guy can't get insured to being a goalie. Or like the coach is like, bro, don't tell me your birthday, man. Don't please don't tell me your birthday. Cause if I know I have to do something, man, let's just shut the fuck up. Okay. You're 40 years old. It's like, no one wants to play in sticks. It's like, like, like it's pickup. No one's gone.
This old fucker, just get him in the net. You're just happy to be on the field. You're just happy to be on the field. This guy, he gets a free bus ride here. Get in the goal. You, get in the goal. Get in the goal. Shout out to Vozinha. And he's got, what's his Instagram story? He's now going from like, he went from 50,000 Instagram followers to something million. Is that Tim Payne? Tim Payne? No, no. Tim Payne is the guy from New Zealand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. He also, Vozinha had a huge blow up. He has 10 million followers. He's got 10 million now. Seven saves. He had seven saves in the game. So he's got more.
followers than, damn, like per million. That's so funny. I'm just looking at the people that are following. It's like Marcella Arguello. I'm like, comedians are fucking following him. Oh, shit. Hillary Smith. Well, listen, Marcella, hey, listen. Marcella trying to slide them DMs. You know Marcella B. She saw him and was like, hold the fuck up. Who is he? He in LA right now? What city he in? She got it, man. What's your man got to do with me? Listen, they play 10 guys behind the ball, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they tried to cross half-field one time. Yeah.
It's tough to beat them. Everyone agrees when Euro's doing that? Yeah, I know, but Spain didn't have, like, they didn't have a ton of, like, it wasn't like, I can't believe it. As in, like, they weren't, like, ripping them apart. But there's some great saves that he had. There's some good saves. A lesser keeper, that would have been a win. Yeah, yeah, I mean, fair place. I mean, that's a story. I'd say a story to his grandchildren about. I mean, he's probably got great-grandchildren he can tell about that right now. Oh, hell yeah.
Got an honorable mention to that boy who I never even saw a photo of, Pico Lopez. One of their defenders. This guy was blocking everything. So, dude has seven saves. Pico Lopez had probably 50 blocks, bro. Did you hear the story about Pico Lopez, though? That's another... That's the guy from LinkedIn? Yeah, the LinkedIn guy. He's like Irish or something, right? He's Irish, and he got sent a thing on LinkedIn like a year ago in Portuguese, so just ignored it. His name is Roberto Pico Lopez, who plays for Island Shamrock Rovers. He wasn't even born in Cape O, but in Ireland to an Irish mother and a Cape Verdean father. He got called up and asked him through LinkedIn.
The 32-year-old centre-back, he just had no idea what they were saying in a message. He reached out in 2018 for a global search for more players. He thought it was spams, just ignored it. Then nine months later, the national team manager followed up in English. And then when he saw it, he said, why not? And then bang, starts in 2019. And that's a great story. And it's good that, you know, it's good. I wonder what his LinkedIn profile said. How LinkedIn it was like. He goes, I'm a builder of people and men. I'm a footballer. What I do with the ball, I flip. Obviously. Listen, bro, I believe...
obviously I didn't think that they would win, but I didn't think they was going to be shit. I knew they'd be better than Curacao. They made a quarterfinal. They made the quarterfinal of like AFCON 2023. Right. Like they're decent.
It happens, man. They're decent. They're decent. And Spain... And they also decided to not try to score. Yeah. Okay, let's take a quick break. And when we come back... Hang on. Let's take a hydration break, yeah? Yeah, yeah. I can't get through this about... When we come back, should we talk about hydration breaks and how shit they are? Yeah, we should. We should. I got one last Cape Verde thing because I figured during the hydration break, we re-strategize. Yeah, yeah, we do. And totally kill the momentum of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. Right back.
And we're back. Damn, that was a wild hydration break. How many ads did you guys hear? 15? I bought a bag of Doritos. Yeah, yeah. I got Powerade running through my veins right now. Yo, Powerade. Who knew Powerade still had this level of muscle? I mean, it's Coca-Cola. Coca-Cola's got, they got the juice. Coca-Cola blue juice. Yeah, yeah. They're just like, come on, bro. Hydration breaks by Powerade.
Those are so fucking bad. I saw the BBC. They are so bad, dude. They don't show, they don't cut to an ad break on BBC. So you just see the BBC, yeah. Yeah, like in the studio, you just see the, or like in the footage, you just see like how the stadium immediately just becomes a gigantic Powerade ad during the hydration break. Like they'll, like every screen is like a Powerade takeover. Again. I hope to God it's just for this. Like I hope they're like this is shy. Because they started in 2014, if you remember, but that was a game by game basis where they're like, yo, this shit could kill somebody. We need to have water breaks. They're in the fucking rainforest. Weren't they? They was like, yeah, we're in my house. Gianni just wants to, he wants to like really.
get above the accusations. So next World Cup is actually set on the sun. So he has an excuse to just have a hydration break. It's mostly a hydration break. It's a hydration break every three minutes. Yeah. Because the Scotland-Haiti game, that was being, by the time they took their first break, that shit was like 10 p.m. Yeah. Like you don't need, it's a fucking night game. On what planet is this? And then the Japan-Netherlands game, they took one, that's at the AT&T Stadium. That's air conditioned. But hey, you got to do it for every single game. I really fucking, that's like the one part that really fucks me up. It's weird how you would, I remember in COVID they did it. I'm sure they did it. No, maybe when it was hot. Yeah, like a game by game. But you don't realize that's every game.
how like, it does, it does screw the momentum up. Like, I mean, this type of sport, other sports, American football, you can, sorry. Start, stop, start, stop, start, stop. This is like, it's a full game of like swings and momentums and it just, it really does suck the life out of it. So, I hope to God it doesn't stay. The only game that wasn't really affected by this, I felt, was Iran, New Zealand last night. Like, I feel like that was just, that continued to be end to end. Yeah. That was also wild too. Yeah. Yeah. Is that the guy's goals? Yeah. Oh, I think it's up there for the goal of the tournament. I mean.
Chris Wood, I mean, best assist in the tournament too, bro. The hold up and then the flick. That hold up was so funny though. He literally stopped and like turned. Everyone's like, should you just let the big guy spin freely in the middle of the field? He's just too big and slow. Let him do it. Knock yourself out. And then right now, as we record this, Norway is leading Iraq. Iraq almost had a second goal, which is kind of crazy. They're not, they're even like not getting swept aside by a player that Alexi Laws was like, this guy's about to be the greatest player of all time if he has two good games in the World Cup. We'll get to that coming up because there's a lot of shit outside of the results that needs to be discussed.
Um, I just want to touch because the France Senegal game also did just happen. Uh, that was three, one Mbappe with a brace only say, I don't know if you saw his assist for the first Mbappe goal. This dude just cut the fucking entire Senegalese midfield in three, just getting it right to fucking Mbappe in the box. Like he just saw, he just saw the fucking pass, threaded it in. All Mbappe had to do was finish, turn, finish. Then his second goal was pretty fantastic. Like he got it. What was like 35 yards is fucking rocket. Yeah. Just, he had too much space that he was able to turn. He said, Oh, it's this much space. Fuck you.
Just as he vowed officially to do more defensive work. As you guys saw in an interview, he said, I'm going to do more defending. And then he just went and scores two bangers. And it's like, well, maybe you don't really need to defend that much, mate, because you are kicking in the net. You have been doing that. Senegal had their chances, though. Mignon got lucky as fuck on that save off the boot. Off the line? Yeah. We're talking about the one that went off the crossbar and he stopped it. Yeah, there was one off the crossbar off the line, but then there was one where he dives for the save. Oh, and it deflected off the ball. It bounces off the back of his boot and somehow back out of the goal. Crazy physics. Almost had the Emi Martinez special. I think also...
What was the one Tottenham keeper? It was like a banter-ass keeper, and it wasn't Brad Friedel. It was, come on now, Paul Robinson. Paul Robinson, yeah. He's supposed to be quite good fun, actually. A couple of comedians, Rob Beckett and I think Lloyd Griffith, and Edinburgh Festival, he went to a show they were doing when they were like new comedians, and they went on the piss with him, and he's apparently a really nice guy. He looks like he has a good time, for sure, for sure. France, after that one, I'm also like, okay, yep, yep, yep, yep. Olise is Olise-ing, which I think is really the most important thing, because if he's active, then that just kind of sets everything else up. They were the only team that had to play in the heat.
Yeah, right? Yeah, yeah. What we would consider. Okay, yeah, you might need a water break for that. And we would just call it a water break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a little water break. We don't need the phrase hydration. Powerade hydration break. Powerade don't got no water in it. You can't call it a water break if we're selling Powerade, man. Thank you. What if the players just sort of wear a camel pat for the whole game? Branded. Branded. And then at least they're sucking on it while playing.
And then we just get everyone has, have as much, including the refs, everyone has as much random equipment on their bodies. The refs with the little, the refs with the sort of universal soldier. Universal soldier is exactly what I was like. Something about it. I know obviously why they did the refs. I don't think it's worth them looking like that. I'd rather see a camera-less ref's face than see the camera of the ref. I don't know why. It's just like, I don't want to see, I don't want you to have all that. I don't want you to have these big shoulder pads and stuff. Just want an out of shape Michael Ellery, a balding private school, balding school teacher, just gently skipping up the field rather than hit it out like they're going to war.
Like imagine like a, like a fucking referee, like Phil Dowd rocking that. Um, just so fucking like, I feel like Phil Dowd, he was, he looked, he looked like he would probably collapse with all that shit on. Pretty soon the refs are probably wearing like a fucking proton pack from Ghostbusters. I was going to say, it does look, is this just because they're in America and we don't realize that they're actually tooled up. They've got, they've got like a, they've got Kevlar and stuff under their breast. They just don't know when a bullet's going to hit you in this country. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got, he got that little Glock on him. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's actually, that's like a sniper telescope attached to the head. It's not a ref cam. Yeah, yeah. All right. Well.
Any other results you want to talk? Because there's a lot I need to talk about, and I'm sure we all need to talk about, which is some of the broadcasting. No, no, let's get to it. Let's get to it. First up, on Fox, they've assembled a fantastic team. They got Rebecca Lowe. They got Zlatan Ibrahimovic. They got TT, the God, Thierry Henry. And then that fucking bag of piss, idiotic, stupid, ignorant motherfucker who should not be talking about sports, especially soccer in a public setting ever again, Alexi Lalas. So you're on the fence about it. Yeah, man.
I don't know how to feel because on one second, he makes a really good point. Did you see? So things got worse before even a ball, I think, got kicked. They were talking about they're promoting like the James Corden late night World Cup show. And they're like, oh, what do you think about that? And he said, oh, yeah, I saw him. He's like, what do you guys call him? A full kit wanker?
Did you see that? He said that. Yeah. He called him a full kit wanker. And then everybody, Rebecca, Thierry, Zlatan, it was truly like one of those scenes where they just went, huh? And Thierry did the trademark big eyes to camera. Yeah. That smells of a guy who doesn't belong in a group of people trying so hard to just come in swinging with a joke. And it's like, whoa, hey, it's not that kind of party, dude. All right. You know, we like Corden. Corden's a nice guy. Corden's my former boss. I like the man. He's a good guy. And he loves his football. My partner's former boss. And he, so we, yeah.
He's a big football fan. He knows football. He loves football. This clip is just so funny. This is like Alexi, Rebecca was just trying to set it up to be like, let's promote this other show that's on Fox to do the World Cup. Easy work. This is where it's just so funny. He's like this eager ass golden retriever who's dumb as fuck trying to impress me like, oh, you want to see what I'm about to do? And here's Alexi Wallace.
Wow. I like how Zlatan even goes, whoa. He was trying to break the tension. Look at Rebecca Lowe. Rebecca Lowe, she's like, oh, fuck. Bullshit. And it's just funny, too, because obviously they're used to being on the air in the UK where that's like being like, yo, that dickhead or whatever. Whereas in the US, it's funny because you would see in the comments around this clip where Americans are like, what the fuck? Whatever. And other people are like, it makes sense that Americans don't see why this was kind of odd because you would never hear someone in the punditry saying shit like that about another person just straight up. So just speaking of, as the most American guy on the show, I knew it was fucked up.
based off the context clues. But what actually got Sid? Did he just call him a fucking asshole or like something worse than a fucking asshole? It's not that he, it's not that like it would arise to the levels of like the FCC being like, what did you say? It's just like very untoward. It's like a thing people say to each other like very informal. And the full kit part. So that's based on the sort of thing online where like you'd see a photo of a guy, like just a football fan, like a middle-aged dad or something wearing like socks, shorts. The full joint. Okay, that's what I thought. Okay, so now that. Full kit dickhead. In America.
That's when a guy comes to the basketball court in the full Lakers outfit. And he got the Jordan Caff sleeve on. What would you guys call them? Look at his dick. Same thing. The same way you'd be like... I would call him a fucking goober. Look at this goober. That's me personally. Has he had to apologize or anything? That'd be kind of funny. I don't know if he did. I feel like Rebecca Lowe may have said something right after. Wait, I'm trying to...
It's just funny. And all of the Fox broadcasts have been like, they all hate Alexi Lawless. Like they cannot hide their fucking contempt for the shit that he says. Like when he said, when Alexi Lawless was like, hey, if Holland has like a good tournament, he's going to be better than you, Zlatan. Like he's going to be bigger than you. Hands down. I'm going to have to put him above you. And Zlatan was like, no, you fucking idiot. Do you know what we'd say in the UK? Be like, that guy's got some real stinky chat. You'd be like, can you smell that? That's Alexi's chat right there.
That chat is fucking mortal. That chat is whiffy. It's minging, as they say. Yeah. He's the guy you become friends with first week at university and you're like, I don't want to make this guy. And you have to just lie about where you're going for the next couple of weeks. Hey, where are you guys? It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do we let you know? And you just slowly fade away. It is strange that it's like, he's required in US soccer talk. Cause like, I don't know, bro. You don't even got the hair no more. Did Kobe Jones get canceled or something? You know what I mean? He's probably also dull as fuck too. I'm like.
Yeah, I mean, he does a lot of Galaxy stuff. He seems pretty chill. Surely he's now old enough that Freddie Adu can be the goatee pundit. I'd rather hear that. I would rather hear that. I think a lot of the guys who I'd rather hear probably just don't feel like doing it. That has to be the case. They're also probably like, bro, it's cringe, honestly, if I'm up there talking with Thierry Henry and Zlatan. Like, nah, bro. Yeah, and it's just a little off. Get Landon Donovan on there with his signed book. He's like, he keeps trying to sell his book. I know. They're probably annoyed as hell. I'll tell you a lot. If you want to know my thoughts on the game, I recommend getting a signed copy of my book. Two Nights in Istanbul.
They got Kobe Jones on the ground. He got boots on the ground. He's like community ambassador. And you get my second book. Landon's calling. Landon's calling. It's all about him leaving Aberton too soon. There's another moment with Zlatan. Oh, this is another great part. Where Zlatan was like, look at this. During the opening ceremony, he's like, look at this. You have the future on the pitch. The present right here at the desk. And then Thierry with the gray punchline. The present here. And Alex's spot on the bus.
They don't give a fuck. They're like, fuck you. Laughing in your face. Hey, I love, I love Thierry in this world cup desk at the champions league desk. He would never like Michael Richardson. Yeah. Yeah. They do all the talking, but yeah.
He's going down the middle. I think it's perfect because it, like Thierry Henry is a cocky guy. And he, if he knows he's better than you, you're going to know that he knows he's better than you. And I think that's where it was just funny to see him. Like, cause he said another thing where like, I think it was at the end of the Senegal France match. Alexi lost like, you know, they're going to say that the French were arrogant and blah, blah, blah. But like, maybe they deserve to be arrogant with that performance. And then Thierry said something. He's like, the ignorant people will call that arrogant. The people with intelligence will call that confidence. And just, he just smashed his face to his fucking face right there. It reminds me of like, have you seen that clip? Did you see that clip?
Zlatan said that. Zlatan said that. It's good they're both piling in. He has to quit. He has to quit because he gets roasted too much. Alexi's dropped out of the group stages, guys. He cannot handle the banter. That's right. While he was saying that, Thierry was just stewing the whole time, not talking like, this guy's an asshole. His face was like, this guy's an asshole and needs to shut up. This guy's an asshole and needs to shut up. And then when he got his takeoff, it wasn't. Did you see the clip of Travis Scott? When Travis Scott was turning up in front of Thierry Henry at the match and Thierry was looking at him like, look at this little asshole. If he doesn't like you, you will fucking know.
I love that kind of transparency. I just, I wish we could move on from Alexi Lawless. You know who's ready? You know who could be American on that desk? Any one of them, call it what you want, guys. Give me Charlie Davis. Give me Jimmy Conrad on that desk over Alexi, man. Come on. Because they'll know how to kind of have a good time, you know? And Alexi, I think Alexi Lawless is just so insecure that he has to constantly, like, prove himself or just have these, like, really dumbass takes to try and be the good role. I'm saying something. Chest out too often. Yeah, also, shout out to the Congo national team. Jabari put a picture of them arriving in the world. I was like, fuck, shout out to Zamunda pulling up.
I thought fucking James Earl Jones pulled up to check on his son in New York. We, all three of us need one of those. Yeah. Chris, you can wear one too. Yeah, this feels like it's going to get, it's going to end my career. But yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Context is everything. You think your service in Curacao was bad before? Wait till you go on this leopard. They're like, oh, look at him. You had the, you had the do-rag on too, didn't you? I was told it was a wave cap. Yeah, guys, I was told by my knowledgeable friends what to do and I feel like they led me astray. They're like, here, I have waves. Peels the wave cap.
Man, did you see, that reminds me of the last thing I put in the doc. You guys see the Cape Verde, the guys with the goats? No. So Cape Verde gets the draw, and the fans are partying in the street, and a guy hops out of a cab with a do-rag on, holding a goat, a live animal goat. Oh, okay, I see this. So they got the goat scared as shit, but the video ends with somebody taking off the guy's do-rag, and he's bawled under the do-rag. Don't do it like that. Uh-oh. He's got it up. He's got it up. He's holding it up like, it's the fucking, who's about to snatch his shit off? And then they start slapping him.
The goat afraid for his life. Put the goats down, man. Put the goats down, as Michael would say. Do you reckon that's because they're like, we're the goats? Is that why? Or is it just because he has a pet goat? I think he just had a goat. I think he just flew over here with a goat. It was just very dependent on what animal the guy had. It could have easily been an iguana. He's trying to style it out. I'm saying we're the goats. I'm pretty sure you just always bring a goat to every party we go to. No, I don't.
We literally call you Goatman behind your back. We call you Goatman. I thought you were saying that as a compliment. No, man, it's because you bring a goat everywhere. Remember how you said you couldn't get into a long-term relationship because you've got to concentrate on raising a goat? Right, right. Jabari said in the chat, he's like, he's their version of the dudes in New York walking around with a big-ass snake. For sure. I just got my goat with me. No leash. I'll hold him in my hands. In LA, what is it? It's like a dude with a parrot or some shit? Yeah. Dog in a baby carriage. Or just a guy in a Spider-Man outfit with a fanny pack. Oh, that's New York, too, though. Yeah. With Tim's on. Oh, yeah. They're drinking Henny. Oh, they're out now, especially after the mix. Oh, yes, they were. The numbers are through the roof. Also, I've got to say, the...
One of the other really underrated things, I think, is, and I was saying this, like, earlier this week, just to somebody who was like, even though, like, fucking FIFA sucks, at least, like, the people, it's really what the, like, the people that make the World Cup, like, really fun. It's seeing those Scottish fans on the boat. It's seeing, like, you know, a lot of people are doing the thing where, you know, obviously every time Japan plays, like, they clean up the stands after the play every time. That's so true. These people are fucking, but shout out, there's some trolls who, like, just found this shocking footage of Japanese people slowly pulling out garbage from a bag and placing it down, and they're just playing the clips, the shit in reverse. It was so fucking stupid.
But then the other part that's great, though, too, is so many people, especially from the UK, are posting about their travels in the US because it's like their first time. So many people in the US for the first time, they're like, uh, hey, I'm an Outback Steakhouse, bruv. They're like, look at the size of the slice of this pizza. This is a regular water. This is a regular water. You know, and they're just like, yeah, man, welcome to fucking Maximalist. The other really wholesome content I found somehow on a algorithm is like young, not just young, but people from a tiny town in the South.
Is it Algeria we're playing down there? They're playing in Lawrence, Kansas, I think. Their home base is in Lawrence, Kansas. Yeah, we just want them to win because they're in our town. Obviously, it goes against the stereotype you have at the moment that's happening in this country. It's very wholesome to see these sweet people who say, if they want to come to our town, we're going to support them. We want the best for them. They're like, we just love that they picked Lawrence, Kansas as their home base. We're honored. And I'm like, damn, okay. And part of me is like, and you're aware of what continent they are from and their religion? Is everything still here? Like, yeah, of course. I'm like, and see, I was thinking on Daily Zeitgeist. I saw that clip too and I talked about it. I was like, it reminds me that America is like about 70% good people.
You know, it's just the 30% that get a lot of fucking traffic. They're very loud. Yeah. Very loud. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, oh, there's a person who called golden corral and out of body experience. Well, you've never seen that chocolate fountain, bro. I bet it was. Yes. It will fuck you up. Have you seen that much fried shrimp come out at once? No. Well, you're welcome. Um, yeah. A lot of people just been like listing things. They like, they're like cheat double cheeseburger from Hardee's. I'm like, bro, Hardee's you're really just shouting out the local.
Again, same way I'm like, I love Tesco sandwiches. Yeah, when you see the Japanese fan, six words to describe Texas. I'm not going to do the accent, but he said something along the lines of... No, no, go ahead, go ahead. You're like, I'm co-signing it as a Japanese person. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah
Hachimakian? Yeah, the headband. I was talking to the one lady who really wanted some barbecue. She kept calling it Big Beef. I like that lady. Wait, she said, I'm looking for Big Beef? Yeah, yeah. They're in Dallas talking to some Japan fans, and they're like, yeah, we're looking for barbecue. And then they cut to the one lady like, yeah, Big Beef. I went through the voice as well, but it's tight. Big Beef. Yeah, it was fire. So they Big Beef. I'm a side thing for Big Beef. He's a Big Beef here. Guys, that's Jamel. That's Jamel. That was Jamel. That was Jamel. God damn. It's so good. It's not racist because it's so accurate. I've been taking classes. Hey, man, those accent work classes, they are...
They are paying off. Okay, here we go. Texas is good. Everything is big. Texas is good. Everything's big. Yeah. Good. Great. There was another one. I think a woman of like one of the Chicago broadcasts also found a Japanese fan and he, this dude could not speak English, but that did not fucking stop him one second from doing a full on TV interview. He's like, I'm, my English is not good, but I love Japan. I'm excited. I'm so excited. Yes. Very good. Very good. Very good. There's a lot of people writing poetically. There was one Japanese guy said to those heading to America for the world cup, if there's a Texas roadhouse near your hotel,
head there immediately. It's a chain restaurant, but you can get the best cost performance steak, especially the ribeye is the absolute best. There was another one who was describing going to a Tex-Mex restaurant. Did you see that about the free salsa? That is real though. Hold on. This is so funny where he was like, this is, this is just, this is so fucking funny. I have to read this whole thing for you because this guy is waxing poetic about the free chips and salsa at a Mexican restaurant. That's amazing. So this is what at Japan underscore Nobunaga posted. He said, USA, a Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything and the food was already arriving. Chips, salsa, unrequested, free. I stopped the waiter. We have not earned these.
They just come with the table, man. They come with the table. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you even have proven you can pay for dinner. This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration. We trust you. Eat. I ate with the gravity that the moment deserved. And then, I must report this calmly.
The basket emptied, and a new one appeared. Did we refill, the waiter said. It's bottomless. Bottomless? They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined. My friend warned me, don't fill up on chips, dude. Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Undemanded each one to be finished. An unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man. I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy. Generosity that arrived before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived. I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at most. Who am I deceiving? There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.
That's amazing. USA, USA. Get those free chips, man. Unbelievable. So that's going to do it for us this week. We're going to be back, probably doing multiple episodes as things heat up even more. And, you know, rapid response demands it. I guess for the two of you, any plugs? Anything you want to shout out? I'm going to plug Group I of the World Cup, Norway's L3-1. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. We just went down. I'm just going to plug the people, the people of the World Cup. Yeah, honestly.
That's what it is. They can only charge you so much for water at a stadium. Yeah, and we could just bring a camel pack in. I think we should be wearing it. I'm going to plug camel packs, guys. I've been talking about players wearing them, fans wearing them. Get them in. Bring the fucking ad money, you cowards. Cowards! Sponsor us. Ain't nobody brought you my camel pack. I nearly shouted cowards when I was like, what diaper bag? Go buy a see-through one. You're a coward!
That would be so jarring. You're FIFA's bitch, you coward. To an American, like, wage worker who's just like, I don't know, like, coward. Do you not listen to anything? It's sort of a callback to... Oh, wait, are you Jamel? No, I'm not Jamel, I'm Prince. Oh. The Blasian one. No, what? Also, it's 4-1 now. Yeah, it's 4-1. Oh, Holland back across the goal. Bumbled in, I just saw that. And then showed a Norwegian guy with a terrible sunburn. Actually, I think that's paint, but given the circle... Well, hold on, I'm about to see. Let's see. I'm on a little bit of delay. Either the sunburn or is it face paint?
verdict in i believe that's a terrible sunburn okay or or his liver is not functioning all right y'all we will see you next time because we got the fucking fever and i know you do too we'll see you then bye