Gagged and Gooped by Gwyneth’s Return

2025? Out. 2026? In. And according to Marty Supreme, it’s officially time to dream big. Bryan and Candace recap their Christmaskkuh season, which somehow managed to go in two completely opposite directions. One spent Christmas alone in a log cabin, Cameron Diaz–style in The Holiday. The other was bailing water out of a flooding backyard minutes before guests arrived. Naturally, this sparks a debate over whether carolers still have a place in the 21st century and who, exactly, is opening their door in the middle of that chaos. Either way, both are more than ready to leave the hellscape of 2025 behind. Between a burning Los Angeles, a company imploding, and an unrelenting political mess, they’re cautiously hopeful for a Labubu-free 2026. And after seeing Marty Supreme, Bryan’s Letterboxd score confirms the marketing hype, and Gwyneth Paltrow officially earns her way back into his cinematic good graces for the first time since Glee.